pretty strange, and a little small...

Last night Andrew taught me how to use Tinder.  I really wanted to see who was on it, so I asked if I could swipe through his potential matches.  He said I could, but also told me that I had to follow these rules: No more than 1 selfie

No yoga poses (which really narrows it down, I also learned about the “Tinder Yoga Pose” which Andrew describes as “When you try to pull your leg up behind your head while standing on a mountain.”

No pictures with horses

No duck face

No kids (we also noticed several users who posted multiple pictures with their kids and of their kids, Andrew also doesn’t like when people post more pictures of their kids than themselves, he says it’s creepy.

No people that don’t write anything in their bio.  He thinks it’s lazy, or shows a lack of confidence in their writing skills.

and finally 

^^ here is Ben smelling a mango tango smoothie^^ Today was a busy day

for a monday

which is actually my saturday

working wednesday - sunday confuses the mind

keeps me productive, i think.

a dream this morning that swelled my heart and filled me with gratitude 

for 3 boys

3 sweet and talented boys that make up my band

i sent a sappy text message to them to share the feeling

they said it was a nice message for such a grey and soggy monday morning.

monday mornings are different for them,

they aren't celebrated mornings like mine.

breakfast hasn't been on my mind lately so i've been spending my mornings sipping tea

i hopped on a bus to go to a yoga class

a sweaty

hot

emotional

yoga class

sometimes yoga catches me off guard and there i am

sweaty face full of tears

a nice thing about crying in a heated yoga class is that no one will notice you

unless you crinkle your face up like i do

child's pose

safety

i waited until the room was empty to leave the class

to shower

to move forward with my day

i undress and hop in the curtained stall

the water is icy

i guess the hot water runs out when you use the shower last

i'm squatted down by my back pack now

rinsed and almost cleaned

a towel around my chilled waist

i'm searching for deodorant as a few stragglers gather their things in the change room

i'm trying to be invisible

what with my nudity and emotional release 15 minutes prior

a girl standing near me says in a voice that i'm sure isn't as loud as i remember it being

"those are really cool tattoos, they're like... water color or something"

i feel several pairs of eyes turn to my naked, goosebumpy, hiding body and squeak out a thanks

i'm not sure if this girl was unaware of herself and the poorly timed observation, or if perhaps she thought she would brighten my day by handing me this compliment

whatever the intention, 

i really wished to shrink away and hide under the wooden cubbies standing on the chilly tiles

i'm dressed now

and the only one in the change room

i grab my coat and head out of the door

onto the soaking street

rain pouring from the skies

i pull up my hood and head to elsie's 

on queen street

to meet ben

there are two elsie's stores now

i chose the wrong one

fortunately, they are right next door to each other

and i don't think i actually chose the wrong one

because on the other side of the door was Cooper

Cooper is this dream boat i met on new year morning, around 2 am, and i kissed her because she said she didn't have a new year kiss yet. 

i chatted with her until we went on a scavenger hunt for ben

we found him

and Cooper went back to work

and ben and i went for smoothies

and chats

and giggles too.

he's got a wise way about him

big blue sparkling eyes that seem borrowed from a toddler

above and infront of this voice and mind that are 200 years old

soon it's time for my massage with brittany

which is 90 minutes

which is a long time

which is a great long time to be warm and naked and massaged and stretched 

i step out into the rain again and feel warm

i head for a quick snack before heading to my friend Katie Nakaska's gallery opening at the Anna Leonowen's gallery deep down town

i meet ben there again

and i'm there for only 25 minutes

and i see a whole lot of people i know

and i hug them all

and kiss all of their cheeks so they know they are loved even if it's only for a minute

i have to scurry away

and i see Cooper again

and she makes a really funny joke that I keep thinking about

I didn't realize how funny it was at the time

but the more i think about it the more i laugh

and i've been laughing about it all evening.

we met walking in the hall way

and she said, "someone told me there is free wine here, so i came for the wine, what are you guys here for?"

and i didn't really get it at first

and neither did ben

so it wasn't really that funny

but as i replay the situation over and over i laugh harder and harder

because really, it's probably the funniest thing i heard all day

oh Cooper.

and now i stand and wait for mark

he picks me up and ben goes to find a chicken for david

and we pick up josh

and we drive to sean's for a rehearsal

we play and sing and my heart is full

it's fullest in this basement

it's fullest with this company that expects so little from me but gives me so much

i love them

i love them all so dearly and i hope these days aren't numbered because they are the highlight of my tuesdays, and mondays now too

we play our biggest show to date on thursday

at the bus stop theatre and i am so excited i could burst

and soon i'm home

and keltie is home from arizona

she's been gone a whole week

and i missed her a whole lot

i read her a poem from ben's book

and we giggle at the lines