Prompt #160: The Mummy AU
This is a gift for @dragonquill. I hope you’ll like it, bestie!
Admittedly, Fili looked a bit worse for wear.
His usually pristine hair was tangled, most of his clothes were missing, turning his appearance scandalous by dwarven standards, what with just the one layer of a shirt, and wide open at that, revealing a thick cover of soft, golden hair –
But at least he was still in one piece.
He swaggered up the scaffold more than climbed it, paused leisurely to glower (or stare intensely, as the case was) at his captor –
Narrowed his eyes, having spotted Kili at Thranduil’s side.
The chances of Fili letting himself be hanged by the elves dropped dramatically. It was one thing if Kili wasn’t present, but now that he was, Fili had a reputation to uphold.
Of course he needn’t have worried; Kili had him covered.
“I will give you one hundred gold pieces to save this dwarf’s life!”
“I would pay one hundred gold pieces to just see him hang.” Thranduil threw off-handedly.
“Two! Two hundred gold pieces!”
“Three hundred gold pieces!”
One of the pointy-eared bastards tightened the noose around Fili’s neck. “Any last words, dwarf?”
“Free me now and I will be generous and spare your life.”
The offer threw the elf, but then Fili has always been a pro at bullshitting his way out of trouble.
Thranduil rolled his eyes and threw a quick command in elven speech.
“No, please! He’s my brother!”
“Oh, why didn’t you say so sooner?” Thranduil smiled unpleasantly. “Body goes to this one!” he waved at the executor.
The trap door opened, Fili fell –
But the thick, dwarven neck withstood the impact. Fili dangled, gasping for breath and swinging gently this way and that.
“He’ll be all yours just as soon as he stops twitching.”
“He knows the way to Erebor!” Kili fired.
“He’s the heir to its throne!”
“Are you telling me this filthy, infuriating son of a pig is a dwarven prince?!”
“He looks better when he’s not rotting in dungeons.”
“You’re telling the truth?”
“Yes! And if you cut him down we will give you…” Kili considered how much was likely to get him disinherited, realised that in Thorin’s eyes a single coin would do the trick, “- ten percent.”
Fili kicked out again, harder.
“Aha!” Kili beamed. “Deal!”
Thranduil swore under his breath. “Cut him loose!”
Fili hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Kili grinned. He’d just saved his brother’s life, and for the first time too! Didn’t even seem that hard, contrary to what Fili often claimed. He gave his brother a friendly, little wave from the dais.
Fili wheezed. And then he glowered. Or he tried to; Fili’s face wasn’t really made for glowering, not like Kili’s was.
Of course, Fili often said that he’d rather die than go back to that goddamn mountain, but Kili disagreed, and since his brother had been strangulating at the time and was unable to voice his opinion, Kili felt that he’d played their cards just right.
Go on an adventure, defeat the dragon, claim the treasure, resolve years of intense sexual tension between them – what could possibly go wrong?
Bonus Fullsize cute!Librarian Kili (or without glasses?)
