c i r c l e , e h ?

best friend: [appears in my field of vision]

Sometimes I fake it because I think if I fake it I might get turned on and get into it and start to want it, and it does work, sort of. But mostly I just fake it because that's what I do (habit) and so I won't have to talk about what's going on. Sometimes I fake it for so many days in a row, over and over, that I start to think the fake is real. like maybe that is what orgasm feels like, quick breath and clenched stomach. like I don't even know the difference between fake and real any more, because usually (not always) fake feels okay. But I'm fighting with my head the whole time, and to be quite honest, it feels pretty crazy- to not even know whether I'm feeling pleasure or not. Isn't that supposed to be pretty obvious? Tell me, is this what it's like for everyone?