you and me at the end of the world

“That isn’t the sweet comment that you think it is,” he said with slight disgust before laughter came. “I’m just mentioning possibilities,” he defended himself. “You might find once you start training that you have a taste for it. And no offense to my friends but you are a way cuter running partner.” He knew when it came the the sexual intimacies of a relationship he wasn’t much different with how he approached things back when they were in high school, but Lily was. He had seen it though only some of that had been with him. Still, Brad wanted to make her feel desired. Never leaving question that he wanted her because there was never a moment that hadn’t been the case. “You don’t know how badly I want you.” And while the words weren’t necessarily natural for him in this setting they were true. “Hmm,” he pretended to think on her words, gently swinging their bodies. “I think that I can agree to those terms.”

“Maybe you’re just looking at it wrong,” Lily shrugged, her smile rising at his laugh. “You act like I’ve never run before and don’t know what it’s like! I’ll let Jack know you think I’m cuter than him,” she shrugged. Lily knew that Brad was reserved. She didn’t want to force him to be something he wasn’t, to push boundaries where he wasn’t comfortable, but she liked feeling wanted. The comment from him sent shivers down her spine in the best way possible. “I bet I have an idea,” she returned quietly, pushing her body closer to his, craving his warmth as she swayed with him. “I’m willing to kiss as much as you need me to in order to help the cause.”

“I can’t go in to heaven with a potbelly,” he explained as if it were a reasonable explanation though his health was a slight addiction. “We’ll see. We can start with a five and you may like it so much it could just be the beginning.” Any time he looked at her he saw the beautiful woman she was now but also the 15 year old girl that he had fallen in love with. He wasn’t as quite bold as her on the topic so he leaned in to more so whisper his response. “We could maybe change that later,” Brad offered wanting to much for them to just be okay and maybe they just need more normality to be that. He smiled softly at the kiss but wanted to just check in before letting it go for the night. “So we’re okay though?” He read her eyes, wanting to pick up on anything that said otherwise.

“You’d have the cutest potbelly in all of heaven though,” she argued through a smile. “You’re supposed to just be happy that I agreed to exercise with you, not start bargaining for more!” She felt like an entirely different person with him. And she liked this version better. She knew in her heart she had to find a way to blend the two, that this other side to her wouldn’t just go away, but with him there were parts of her that existed nowhere else at all. With him she felt whole in a way she couldn’t otherwise. “You have no idea how badly I want that,” she spoke back quietly, keeping her answer simple. His words excited her. Knowing he was thinking about her in that way made her feel alive, and so much of her wanted to push boundaries. “We’re okay, yeah,” she nodded genuinely. “I would prefer to be the last person you kiss tonight though, if that would be okay with you.”

“5k,” he repeated back with offense. “The day I settle for less than a 10k we’ve reached the end. And you better be careful or I’m going to start forcing you on some runs,” he warned giving her side a squeeze. “Just how much I like seeing you in my shirt,” he confessed. There was both innocence and something sexual about it for him. He knew Lily had voiced wishing he was more forward and while he had made the effort there had definitely been a tap on the brakes since the Valentine’s fiasco. “No, it’s fine. Since you’re the only one that I have been kissing, I don’t know, it just felt funny not saying it? But yeah it was just cause the game. One of the seven minute things but it wasn’t more than that.”

Lily let out a laugh at his offense, shaking his head. “So I was spot on, you’ll be annoyingly in shape until the day you die,” she shook her head. “I would do a 5k with you, nothing longer than that,” she offered, a sincere smile, one she felt didn’t exist outside of him, of them, donned her lips at the squeeze. “I like being in your shirt-- kind of annoying to be in it with things on underneath, but I’ll survive,” she groaned, smile poking up again after a feigned moment of annoyance. “Yeah, I get it,” she nodded, pausing for a moment. She did appreciate him saying something, but no part of her wanted to continue to talk about it either. She just wanted to focus on them, on their bubble. “I like being the only one you’re kissing,” she said softly, leaning up again, this time to kiss his jaw gently, her hand coming up to rake through the hair on the back of his neck.

“And they say that women are hard to please. Crazy talk, clearly.” Saige giggled. “Thank you, thank you. It’s weird going out like this right? But it’s fun.” She looked around. “Want a drink? It’ll probably help us warm up.”

“I know seriously. All we need is the exact perfect temperature, but then to also be able to wear a man’s sweatshirt and look sexy all at the same time,” Lily shrugged and shook her head. “It is, but I’m living for it. So much more comfy than a tight skirt,” she chuckled. “Maybe we do a shot and a cocktail... you know, for warmth.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, as shallow as this sounds, the day I get to that point I might just have a breakdown,” he admitted the truth in a joking way. “Can’t say I am very interested in thinking about my mom right now.” How easy it could be with her was somehow complicated in its own way. The worked so well when it was just them. The problem was that it hadn’t been this past year. The kiss was a bit unexpected but felt nice all the same though he felt slightly off, knowing why. “So, um, we didn’t talk about tonight, and it’s not like it’s a big deal, but I feel funny if I don’t tell you like I’m keeping it to myself, and I’m not but I kissed someone during one of the games.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever let yourself go. I always pictured myself as an old woman going to cheer you on at 5ks when you’re like 85 and can barely move,” she laughed, shaking her head. “No? Whatcha wanna think about instead?” She feigned an innocence and giggled through her words, knowing full well his thoughts were generally much tamer than hers. His tone after the kiss caught her, not really expecting that and at his admission she nodded. She didn’t love the thought of him kissing anyone else, but she had no grounds to be upset, and it being a game helped that too. “Oh, that’s-- you didn’t need to tell me, but I appreciate the honesty. Was it-- I mean, was it just because of the game or? -- you don’t.. if you don’t want to talk about this we don’t have to.”

“I don’t blame them either, but I do wish they would turn the heat on even if it’s August.” Saige giggled and looked Lily over. “You look great though, even if you’re freezing.”

“I want the same thing, but I also feel like I would then complain about the heat. At least I know I’m a never-ending complainer?” Lily chuckled. “Well thank you,” she grinned, looking back at the girl. “And you look hot as hell, as usual,” she grinned.

“So you’re saying the only for sure way I can keep a shirt is to let myself go?” Another chuckle came and Brad couldn’t help but smile to himself seeing her in his shirt. It was a comfort thing, the old memories flooding back. “Well I guess we can’t have that,” he smiled warmly a hand falling to her back. “I can like it and not want to hear it at the same time.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, yes. I just don’t know if you have the discipline it takes to get there,” she jested, feigning serious, lips twisting in fake thought. “No we can’t, what would your mother say?” She grinned, his hand feeling so comfortable on her. She didn’t really know if she should have done that, wrapped herself in him that way. Things hadn’t been exactly smooth with them, she wasn’t entirely sure where they stood. But she knew she wanted this. “Okay, then we don’t have to talk about it,” she said with a casual shrug, leaning up to kiss him instead. She didn’t push it with him, the kiss tender, but short-lived.

“Of course you are! I just think there isn’t a single guy here that actually wants any of the girls to put on more clothes.”

“You know, that’s a really valid point and honestly it’s hard to blame them,” Lily chuckled, looking around a little. “But it’s also rude because it’s cold as hell after a while.”

“I don’t doubt you considered it. I just doubt how heavily it weighed in.” A bashful smile came from her response, a laugh and shake of his head following. “Don’t make me take the shirt back.”

“Well it would have weighed heavier if you didn’t look so good with your shirt off, so really whose fault is it?” Lily gave a look like she made a good point. She slipped on his shirt. “That wouldn’t be very chivalrous,” she shook her head, arms wrapping loosely around his waist. “You’re supposed to like that I’m attracted to you, dummy.”

“I don’t think you have as much of a dilemma as you’re beautifully acting like you do,” he laughed, pulling at his shirt to take it off.

“Don’t discount me not wanting to be an imposition on you!” Lily argued, letting out a teasing little whistle as he lifted off the shirt. “You’re annoyingly hot, you realize that?”

“Oh my god, I know. And I’m too scared to grab one of the blankets over there with who knows what is on them by now.”

“I think I’ll be physically gagging if I try and use one of those regardless of what I do or don’t find on it. You just know not one of those is clean.”

“You can have my shirt if you think it will help your cause.”

“I don’t want to make you give up your shirt, but at the same time I do really want to stare at you shirtless. You see my dilemma here?”

“I’m sure I saw blankets in the chill zone if that’ll help you?”

“I am a little concerned about who was using the blankets before me and for what, but I might have to cave eventually.”

“It’s fine. Stay or go. Let’s not make a thing about it.” He kept his eyes forward, it was too hard to look at her.

“I was just trying to be respectful,” she had begun hating seeing him. And she hated that, because she still craved being near him. But every interaction between them made her just sad. Though she sat down. “Are you having fun tonight?”

“I’m right there with you. It was worth it but now I’m ready to steal a hoodie.. just like high school.”

“That’s a great point. Why has no one offered me a sweatshirt yet? Am I not cute enough to be offered a sweatshirt anymore?”

“You can stay,” he commented as the other seemed to need a moment of air too from the madness. “But I’m not sharing my smokes.”

“You sure? I’m sure there’s somewhere else I can go.”