magic is in all of us

"you didn't help at all"

"i'm going to get blamed for this"

"why are you always so angry?"

"it's 4 in the morning, why are you still up?"

"did you draw a dick on my face?"

"i'm not gay today"

"i stayed up all night killing zombies"

"i have zero tolerance for idiots. that means you."

"did you know that super glue does not come off with water?"

"i made a birdfeeder but i don't want it to get ruined outside."

"you are an idiot."

"my girlfriend dumped me because I play too many video games."

"i accidently drove your truck into the garage."

"i left my car at work!"

"how much for a ride?"

"if i die you die. we're in this together, buddy."

"i bought a rat today."

"i threw up in the pool."

"stop doing homework for a second and watch this."

"hamilton was probably a good guy."

"i haven't slept in three days."

"i left the cat outside!!"

"i just wanted us to bond around the fire."

"i am trash."

"stop ignoring me."

"i'm sorry people like me more than you."