BABYDOLL

She had no witnesses, photos without metadata of a painted perfectly straight line in a 90° angle which everyone believed was a from a thrown phone without questioning it, the "news" spread like wildfire and he's been branded a wife beater ever since, hated on, bullied, boycotted, all the while trying to heal from physical and mental abuse.

But his claims, evidence and witnesses keep being ignored and Amber Heard continues to be given a platform and people keep glorify her because you find her pretty? Sick world. Everyone pretends to care about victims and wants to "cancel" abusers but only as long as they're men, right? Female abusers get a pass? Male victims don't matter? Where is the outrage? A tiny portion of the internet is talking about it, media are still largely siding with her, repeating her claims and statements and glossing over his.

I honestly don't understand this. Johnny Depp did nothing to deserve this. And I'm not talking about just the abuse. I mean the way he's been treated, hated, mocked, ignored. He's opened up a huge case to prove his innocence and all people have to say is he needs money? Call him a liar despite the fact he's not painting himself as perfect? He openly admitted to dealing with painkillers addiction in 2014 but he knew he had a problem so he went onto detox and what Heard did? withheld his medicine like a psychopat and caused him to have spasms (he could have died you know). And no one seems to care. She seriously injured his finger and then put out a cigarette to his face. She said he wrote on the wall after this, and he doesn't deny that. He admitted to doing this because he was in shock HIS FINGER WAS SEVERED. He's honest about everything. Someone like him, one of the most private actors, would not put such private parts of his life on display in court for the world to see unless he was telling the truth. It's preposterous to suggest otherwise.

Johnny Depp is not a perfect person. But he's not an abuser. And you can insult him or mock him for struggling with drug addiction (even though it's gross) but keep in mind that this is someone who was abused as a kid by his own mother (she was ill, as I understand it) and because of this and mental health he started taking pain killers at the age of 12. He didn't do drugs for fun. He did it to deal with the pain, to feel better. As a child, and as an adult (presumably because of Heard's abuse). And he's always been honest about it. But having these problems does not make him a bad person. And I'm sick of the lack of compassion. He's just a rich white man to people. Like he has no emotions. Like we all forgot how deeply human he is? Forget his money or gender. He is a human being who deserves love and support after everything he's dealt with.

I’m tired of the stereotypes Black girls are “Loud” “Angry” “Violent” “Too dark” “Ugly” “Not desirable” “Inferior”

I’m tired of the hair hate “Nappy” “Crunchy” “Dry” “Short” “Afro” “Natural” “Braids” “Weaves” “Wannabe white”

I’m tired of the skin hate “#TeamLightSkin” “#TeamDarkSkin” Like we’re on opposing teams…

I’m tired of the hate for liking out of race “Black guys”(Who sometimes don’t even want us) “White guys” “Asian guys” “Hispanic guys” ANY GUY And forever wondering if said guy will even like us back

I’m tired of being told I can’t be “Nerdy” “Quiet” “Shy” “ A geek” “A nerdy” “A gamer” “Good at school” “A princess” “Or a Queen”

Or can’t have “A stable family” “Good grades” “Drama free love life” “Normalcy of any sort”

Or I can’t like “Comic books” “Reading” “Video games” “Indie music” “Pop music” “Rock music” Anything other than Rap/R&B I’m tired of the names and things said “Oreo” “Sassy” “Fake” “Uppity” “Ghetto” “White girl in a black girls body” “I don’t date black girls” “You’re pretty for a black girl” “You talk/act white” “You’re not like the rest” “I like chocolate” “You’re my Nubian princess” (Like we are food or a prize to be won)

I’m so tired …. Of constantly trying to prove myself ….. Always explaining myself ….. Trying to keep my voice down ….. Being too dark …… Or too light …… Steering away from stereotypes ….. Being treated like less than ….. “No I don’t have kids” “Nit currently or planning to be pregnant” ….. “No you cannot touch my hair” ….. Yes I live with both my mom and dad …… “Nubian princess” ….. Keeping my hands to myself in a store so I don’t get accused of stealing …… Social media and News representation …… Being a fetish …… Being wary of cops when I’ve done nothing wrong …… Knuckling under …… Black on black hate ……. EVERY THING ELSE

I’m so tired of fighting

My skin color and hair does not, has not, and will not ever represent me. I am in touch with my black and Haitian roots but none of it defines me unless I say it does. No matter I do or say people will still see me that way. I’m so tired of people not even seeing who I am but what they perceive me to be solely based on my skin.

‘Are you saying I’m not Hoodoo because I’m white? There are lots of white Hoodoo practicioners.That’s pretty racist.’ Aw, sweetie, no. It’s not your race, necessarily; I know there are white rootworkers, it’s your goddamn behaviour. You don’t get to strut around calling yourself ‘Hoodoo’ because your practice has a few additional phrases and groovy oils you plucked out of it like a 15 year-old buying her first Dreamcatcher from a stall at Beautiful Days whilst ignoring the rest of the entire living tradition. You don’t get to call yourself Hoodoo when you only focus on white Catholic syncretism because it’s more comforting and familiar than the Black powers you ‘don’t feel so drawn to,’ and dear God I wish that wasn’t an actual quote. You don’t get to call yourself Hoodoo and then shit all over POC in the comments because acknowledging their voices, their agency and their pain makes you really uncomfortable.

There’s not a lot of treatments, and there isn’t a single one that is for vaginismus exclusively - they’re all medications or treatments to treat symptoms, but not the causes. In fact, for a long time doctors waved off vaginismus as a purely psychological disorder in cis women.

One thing I appreciated about this website is that it emphasized that this is not your fault. Another thing I learned was that one cause could just be, you know, being part of a culture that gives women extreme anxiety about sex. This resource helped me when I was a lot younger and terrified that I was broken. 

It can be caused by sexual assault, but it can also be caused by just plain lousy sex. In some cases there’s no apparent cause.

It can occur during sex and/or during pelvic exams. Some people (hi!) experience it only during pelvic exams or pap smears. (Mine was caused by an incompetent medical professional who didn’t pay attention and used a speculum that was too large). And, as mentioned, some sufferers can’t insert tampons. I’d imagine it’s not impossible for somebody to be fine with sex but have problems with tampon insertion. I’ve also heard of people being fine with a penis but not with toys and vice versa. (Lube, people. Lube).

Vaginismus is a major cause of dyspareunia (painful intercourse), but there are other causes, which can include:

* Not producing enough natural lubrication. This can be a result of insufficient/bad foreplay, but some people never produce enough and levels of lubrication can drop during and after menopause, after childbirth, and while nursing. It can also be a side effect of medication. Lube exists, and some people have to use it. Vagina owners should always use water-based lubes.

* Injury down there, often as a result of childbirth complications.

* Yeast or bacterial infection.

* Ezcema

* A deformed vagina (this is rare, but it does happen. It’s generally connected to a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as AIS)

* Scarring from pelvic surgery.

* Stress.

* Ovarian cysts

* Pelvic inflammatory disease.

* Ectopic pregnancy

* Some STDs, such as genital warts

* Vulvodynia - pain in the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. This one’s even worse…we do NOT know what causes it.

* Latex allergy if using condoms. If using lube causes more pain, you may be allergic to the lube.

* Cystitis

* Uterine problems such as fibroids or endometriosis

* Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix)

Many of these can be treated or worked around. Sex is not supposed to hurt. And if it does, you and your partner need to address why. Many doctors actually recommend sex therapy as a couple if you have vaginismus. If you have an infection down there, it can be treated. If your vagina is too dry, you can use supplemental lube. But you need to talk to your doctor if at all possible.

Again.

It’s not supposed to hurt.