angel face

When Teddy awoke, it was with a raging headache and on top of one too many food wrappers for comfort. He contorted himself on the bed, the rusting of paper and plastic and the accompanying crumbs sticking to him as he got up, a hand running through his hair haphazardly, sticking it up in all directions. This morning it was a deep purple. He thought back to the night before and bit back a groan of regret– vomiting in a rose bush and running off like a moron, only to drown himself in takeaway? It was so classicly pathetic that he didn’t think he could speak to Rose for the next few weeks until he gained some sort of semblence of pride. 

He stripped, pulling on pajama pants and a tshirt and leaving his abandoned suit in a heap on the floor. Teddy didn’t want to think about the accusations that Rose had thrown out the night before, all that drivel about Lily being a front for her own desire to simply stop seeing him. He didn’t understand why she just laid it straight out with him– it was their preferred method of communicating. As he made his coffee he mulled it over, deciding that it wasn’t worth feeding anymore of his energy into– if it was over it was over, Teddy would certainly make do with that. 

The knock on the door felt like a knock directly to his forehead, and he cursed before walking over and wrenching the door open, seeing a Lily Luna that, had he been paying more attention, looked about as wretched as he did. Her accusation stung and he found that the combination of sickness and stress left a nerve of his open and raw. “Not at present, but sure– why don’t you come on in thien?” His voice was filled with weak acid as he opened the door to her. 

Despite herself Lily felt a little sob escape her throat at his confession. She already knew that it was true, but it confession was like getting splashed with freezing cold water. “Merlin I’m such an idiot.” She said, bringing her hand up to hide the tears pricking at her eyes. She already felt overwhelmed and dizzy, panic crawling up her body, closing up her throat. 

“Was I not obvious enough?” She asked, taking her hand away so she could look at Teddy with her blue eyes, shining with unshed tears. “Because I thought I was being pretty obvious. I mean, I’ve been throwing myself at you for years!” Her voice had gone high and squeaky, on the verge of shouting. “Everyone could tell, I wasn’t subtle, hell even Albus noticed. Do you have any idea how obvious you have to be for Albus to notice?!”

Albus had said that she needed to tell Teddy how she really felt and she knew he was right, as much as she loathed to admit it. It was well past noon by the time she was able to convince herself to get dressed, in some faded blue jeans and her mums old Wyrd Sisters T-shirt, so unlike her usual sundresses. She pulled her crimson hair into a pony tail and didn’t bother putting on makeup. Normally she wouldn’t be caught dead outside of the house like this but she was too tightly wound to bother, besides Teddy hadn’t cared when she was made up she doubted he would even notice if she was disheveled. 

She had every intention of telling Teddy how she really felt, how she had always felt. No more games, no more cleverly thought up plans for seduction, just the truth. She thought of exactly what she wanted to say as she walked to his flat, replaying it over and over again in her head until it almost felt like it had already happened. 

Albus wanted to be annoyed with her, but he felt sorry for her. Her whole life boiled down to her being too spoiled to be decisive. What kind of life was that? One where she couldn’t even tell the man she loved that she loved him? Even if it meant that he might spend the rest of his life with someone else? That was a sad existence. He brushed her tears away with his thumbs and nudged her chin. “Men don’t do obvious, Lil.” Make him love me, the sentiment behind that statement was naive enough to make Al want to shake Lily’s shoulders and scream you have no idea what you’re doing! You have no idea what kind of game you’re playing! But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to her. She was too upset, too hurt by the image of Rose and Teddy she had created in her head.

His father was so good at diffusing situations like this. Well, perhaps not exactly like this, but situations where tensions were running high. Harry had a way of of making things seem much less bleak than they really were. Albus was good at it too, sometimes. When he was less high. He wished he had a drink in his hand. Instead, he fished a cigarette out of his robes and lit it distractedly, offering Lily one while he thought. “What is it that you want, Lily? Ideally? Do you want Ted to declare his love for you? Do you want to be swept off your feet? Do you have any idea how you would fit together as a couple? The logistics of it? You’ve known each other all your lives. What would it be like if you got tighter and it didn’t work?”

“Not to mention… he’s our brother. In every sense of the word. Dad can’t just, like, let go of him if you decide to end it. If you say you love him you have to mean it absolutely in every sense of the word. You have to be sure that you’re sure. You have to be ready to marry him tomorrow. The problem is, Lil,” he gave her a stern look, or as stern as he could manage in his current state, “is that he’s definitely not ready to marry anyone tomorrow. Or the next day. Or probably not within the next year. I’d wager Ted wouldn’t be ready to settle down for a while.”

Lily took the cigarette he offered her, even though she didn't really want it, she just needed to do something with her hands. She barely even inhaled when he lit it for her, just held it close to her lips. “I just want to be with him.” She couldn’t think of any other way to describe it. “He makes me feel...Calmer, softer.” More tears started to roll down her cheeks, which she tried to wipe away with the back of her hands but as soon as they were gone more appeared. “I know you think I’m just a silly girl, with a school girl crush, but thats not it Al, please believe me.”

“He’s your brother, I could never see him like that, you must know that.” Lily had loved Teddy Lupin for as long as she could remember, sure when it was younger it might have been a surface level crush, but that changed when he left for Europe. He had written all three Potter children during that awful time when he wasn’t at their house every weekend, and Lily saved every single one of his letters. They were in a box that she kept under her bed, one she pulled out when she needed to smile. “I have loved him my whole life.”

Albus shoved at his hair exasperatedly. “I didn’t mean it like that, Lil. I don’t mean to compare you and Rose. You are different people. I just mean if you want something you have to go for it. Forget English sensibilities of propriety and all that. You have to be more like Rose. She’s never played a game of chicken she didn’t win. And I’m sorry that I keep bringing her up. I’ll stop now.” He feels sorry for Lily. Sorry that she gets shoved to the side. Sorry that her accomplishments aren’t as celebrated as everyone else’s. 

“I’m sorry that this is something that we can’t hand to you,” because he has a feeling that’s the root of the problem. Lily has become so accustomed to people handing things to her because she’s Lily Potter. She’s never once had to fight for anything in her life. Albus thinks it might actually be good for her to fight for something. Show some passion. “If you really love him Lily, why don’t you tell him that? Why don’t you do something about it?”

“Because the one thing I don’t understand in all of this is why you’ve spent all of your time running from it? You’ll never know unless you march up to him and tell him?” Al was starting to worry that perhaps Teddy was in love with Rose. What would they do then? An all-out duel at the Pride Ball would surely make Vi lose her mind. Lily would never be able to recover from that. They would never know until they tried, though. “You have to ask him.” 

"Merlin Al, you're really fucking bad at this whole comforting thing." She meant it to be a joke but since she was still crying it just sounded sad. She felt small and embarrassed, and she just wanted to go home, and hide under her covers. “You might not have meant it like that but thats how it is.” She wiped her eyes, not caring how much she smudged her makeup. “We’re different people but I should be more like her. We’re different people but she’s the one he wants, and I’m just the baby right?” 

She bit the inside of her lip, hating that he was partly right. She was used to getting what she wanted without having to lift a finger. “Don’t act like I’m the only one in this family who hasn’t had things handed to me.” She crossed her arms indignantly. “I’de like to see you being honest about your feelings.”

“Lily,” Albus said weakly, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “You don’t even know what love is. Not really. You might think you do, but you don’t. There’s a difference between infatuation—being interested in someone from afar—growing up with someone. Admiring them, and being in love with them. I know Rose isn’t in love with Ted. I would know if she was.” Of that Albus was certain. There were seldom things that they kept from each other. Albus suspected Rose had kept her affair with Teddy a secret from him to spare him having to lie to Lily about it. 

“I don’t know if Teddy is in love with you. Quite honestly, I don’t want to say he is or he isn’t. Teddy is—he’s a man, Lily. And you’re a girl. You’re barely a woman. You still live at home. Rose has been a woman since she turned seventeen. She moved out on her own the moment she stepped foot out of Hogwarts. We picked out our first house during seventh year hols. You still sleep in your childhood bedroom. How d’you think Teddy could think about—erm—well—you know, that, with you, if you’re still, you know, a child, for all intents and purposes?” 

“I love you, baby sister,” he pulled back so he could plant a kiss on her forehead. “You mustn’t blame yourself. There isn’t really blame to go around, not really. Can you fault Teddy for living his life? I suppose Rose is at fault. She shouldn’t’ve slept with Teddy, knowing how you felt. That was wrong of her. You have every right to be upset with her. I’ll speak to her about that. You should too.” 

“But Lily, my darling sweet Lily,” Albus looked at her sadly. Of all of the Weasley-Potters, she had the most growing up left to do. It was for the best, really. Sometimes he regretted how fast he and Rose had to grow up. Even in his drug-addled state he felt remorse for the childhood they had to sacrifice to be the golden children. He and Rose had worked tirelessly to create the perfect images—replicas of Hermione and Harry. They had done so brilliantly, both becoming charismatic leaders. Empty shells, wax figures, harlequin dolls. Lily had been able to keep her innocence. Yet here she was, shattered because of it. “Don’t fret over this. All is not lost yet. You act as if your life is over before it has even begun. Why are you letting one night dictate the rest of your life? One moment between Teddy and Rose doesn’t mean Teddy loves Rose? You don’t think that, do you? Look at me, I’m so poetic when I’m high.” 

Lily's pretty face contorted into a deep frown. She had spent so much of her 22 years on earth acting like a little princess, and as a result people saw her as a child. For so long that suited her just fine, she let people think that she was nothing more than the baby of the family. Albus and Rose might have worked hard to perfect their imagine, but so had she, it was just a different kind of image. After leaning into her role as the “baby of the family” people couldn’t see past it, not even Albus. She wished she could go back in time and slap some sense into her younger self, let her know that all she was doing was setting up a world of trouble down the road. 

“Yes I do! Maybe thats how it was when I was a teenager but it’s different now. You just can’t admit that maybe I’ve grown up.” She shot back, her greenish blue eyes narrowing dangerously. “You think you’re the only one who hides shit behind closed doors?” She felt fresh tears pricking at her eyes as he compared her to Rose, just once she wanted someone to see past her public image. She thought Teddy had but she had been wrong. “Well I might not be as accomplished as your precious Rose but I’m trying okay. I’ve been working hard but no one wants to see it.”

Despite her anger she let him place a kiss on her forehead. She wasn’t really angry with him, she just hated that he was right. Of course Teddy would want Rose over her, she would only ever been Albus’s and James’s kid sister who still lived at home. It just hurt to hear it. 

Albus is hungover as hell, to top it off, he’s high off his arse on some Muggle drugs he got off his current date—some pureblood bloke he picked up at a bar he had gone to the night before. Really, he hadn’t meant for it to be anything that serious. Normally, he would pick someone up and offer to go back to their place, that way they couldn’t stay too long at his place and he could sneak out early. That hadn’t been the case, and somehow he’d ended up at the ball with this—admittedly good looking—bloke. They’d done a couple lines in the bathroom and he’d made the rounds smiling and shaking hands before seeing his sister run past him. He whipped around to see exactly what had caused her theatrics and lo and behold—years of fuckery confirmed—literally. Rose and Teddy were fucking. 

That could be dealt with later. Firstly, he would need to deal with Lily. Merlin, that would be—well, James would be better suited for that job to be sure. What would Albus say, Here, Lil, want a pill to make it all better? His natural response was It’ll all blow over in a week. That wouldn’t be the case here. Nevertheless, he ran out into the night, cloak flapping madly behind him. “Lily…” 

“Fuck, Lil, he isn’t even worth it. He’s—he’s a bloody idiot. I promise. He’s spent all of these years fucking Rose, for fucks sake. Rose who has a finger in every pie she can get her hands in. You’re worth more than that. You’re special, Lily. You deserve someone who will treat you right. And I’m not even trying to slut shame Rose here. That came out wrong—I’m just—you deserve to be loved. By someone your age, for what it’s worth.” 

“Lily, can I ask you something? Why do you love Teddy? I mean, really? If you had to make a list? Other than the fact that you’ve known him since birth?” 

Lily did not cry in public. She pouted and acted out and played her part as the baby in the family but she never let anyone see past the facade. She wanted until she was home, safely locked away in her childhood bedroom to let her guard down, but tonight she couldn’t help it. Maybe she had one too many glasses of champagne, maybe she was tired after a week of work – real work, at a real job – but she felt powerless to the emotions wracking through her body.

She turned towards her brother, feeling touched by her words despite the heartbreak she was feeling over Teddy. She cried harder when he only confirmed what she had seen inside the ballroom, Teddy with Rose. She threw herself into her brothers arms, probably getting her smeared mascara all over his dress robes. She clung to Albus, muffling her sobs in his chest.

“Why doesn’t he love me?” She cried, feeling every bit like the child everyone thought she was. She had never cried like this over a boy before. Sure one or two had made her shed a tear or two, but never like this, never in front of someone, even one of her brothers. “Why does he go around fucking everyone and I can’t even make him love me like I love him?” She was blubbering and she would be surprised if Albus could even understand her over her sobs.

She didn’t see him for the first couple of hours, so she mingled and socialized, sipping at champagne. She had lost count of how many boys, and some girls, had tried to hit on her, but none of them were Teddy so she paid them no mind. Finally she caught sight of his blue head of hair and she quickly made her way towards him, only to stop dead in tracks when she saw who he was talking to. Rose. It was Rose who he was standing so close to, tucking her hair behind her ear, his lips lingering by her ear. It didn’t take long for Lily to put two and two together and she felt the world fall beneath her feet and tears prick at her eyes. 

Lily never showed vulnerability in public, at least, not the real kind and she was not about to cry in the middle of the ballroom, so she turned on her heels, quickly making her way through the crowd before the tears that were pooling in her eyes overflowed. She didn’t even realize that she had brushed passed her brother, or that he quickly followed after her all the way to through the doors into the moonlit night. 

Teddy shrugs. “If you say so– Though I think secrets are terribly boring.” That was the trouble with secrets, Ted thought to the handful that he had buried in his pockets– if people thought you had them they felt as though they were entitled to pry. It seemed easier, if he was honest, to pretend to be an open book. People stopped prying when they thought you had nothing to hide. He thinks on Rose, and on Peach, and on how exhausting it used to be to live his entire life with the majority of him tucked up in his shirt pocket, as if his existence was something to be ashamed of.  

 He feels the urge to stand, put some space between himself and Lily, so he does. It’s only a handful of steps before he’s in the kitchen, rummaging around the fridge. “I”m going to grab a beer, do you want anything? There’s water, some whiskey, some soda and one more beer.” Maybe adding beer wasn’t the best decision for this equation, but he needs something to distract him, even if only for a moment. 

Lily watched as Teddy got up off the couch and instantly missed the closeness they had been sharing. Being close to him, alone, was like a high and once he was away she came crashing back to earth. “I um, I think I might actually head out, the rain has let up a bit.” She said, getting up from the couch and making her way to the bathroom, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the feeling of Teddy’s clothes against her skin. 

When she made it to the bathroom she was faced with her dress and bra. Quickly she stripped off Teddy’s shorts and t-shirt, taking one last whiff of his familiar smell. She pulled on her sundress, but left the delicate bra hanging on the towel hook. It was one of her favorites, a delicate blue lace with little yellow flowers, if Teddy asked she could say she just forgot it, but really she liked the idea of leaving something of hers behind, a little reminder. 

After giving herself a once over she made her way to his kitchen, taking a moment to admire him in his natural habitat, wishing she could take a picture of him, just like this. “Well thanks for the towel, and the chat.” She said, stretching up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his shoulders. She had meant it to be a friendly hug, completely innocent, but she couldn’t helping melting into his body, ever so slightly. “You’re always looking out for me, it’s why I love you so much.” She mumbled, lightly pressing her lips to his cheek before pulling away. Her words weren’t strictly speaking romantic, they were things she could easily say to her brothers, or a friend, but it meant something else with Teddy. 

He pretends to scratch his chin. “Whiny princess, infant child, itty bitty– those are all of my alternative nicknames that I am offering at this time.” He pointedly refuses to continue talking about her blushing– he doesn’t even really know why he brought it up in the first place, though now he’s kicking himself. What on earth is going on here? For a moment he wishes that Al or Jamie would walk through the door, and yet he knows that such an occurance would make him feel even more awkward.  “I’m sure that’s not true– you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve– is there anything I don’t know?”

Lily rolled her eyes dramatically, slouching deep into the sofa. “Those are all horrible Teddy.” She pouted at him, sending her best puppy dog eyes his way. “For one thing I’m not an infant, and Whiny Princess doesn’t have a good ring to it. I guess if I had to pick one it would be Itty Bitty but I’m not happy about it.”

Lily took a deep breath, and her hands began to shake. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him how she felt, to lay everything out on the table. She was a Gryffindor, she was supposed to be brave, but a part of her still wasn’t sure how Teddy would react if she told him just how deep her feelings went, a large part of her was terrified that he would turn her way and there would be no turning back. “A girl needs to have a few secrets...” Was all she managed to say.

“Oi!” He yelps indignantly, pushing himself instinctively back as his hairs turns a shocking shade of purple, if only for a moment. “This is the moneymaker, Lil.” he brushes off the jolt it causes in his stomach. “If you ruin it I miht just have to refuse to ever speak to you again.” Not that he intends to ever follow through on that. 

Teddy laughs at her blush, reaching out to teasingly pinch her cheek. “Yes, I think it suits you– what with your general presence. All that blushing though —” He lets the comment hang off, not sure how to follow up what he’s started to say. He pretends to think for a moment. “Lily Potter, growing out of her wiley ways? Color me shocked– I didn’t think you had it in you.” 

She giggled at the way his hair flashed purple, and the exasperated look on his face. “I would like to see you try and go a week without talking to me.” She said smugly, flicking her red hair over her shoulder. 

She swore she could have melted in that moment that he reached out and touched her cheek, even if it was meant to tease her. She wondered if he could feel how much she was burning up. “There are just so many other things you could call me.” She whined, jutting her bottom lip out in a pout. “What about my blushing?” She asked, suddenly feeling defensive. “Maybe if you didn’t tease me so much.”

“Well maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” She said, sniffing and turning her nose up in a haughty manner.

He tries to not focus on the fact that they’re touching. It’s too slippery of a slope, for someone like him who has sex on his mind more than he would like to admit, especially to Lily of all people. “Oi, shove off Lil.” He pushed her shoulder playfully. “You’re no more a damsel in distress than I am.” He looks at her, feeling the truth of his statement. Despite the appearances that she put up, he knows better than anything that impressions are just that– made by someone else and designed intentionally. 

“Did you not just tell me that you lost your apparition license over a boy? I see what happens in the chat– I know what you and peaches get up to,… At least a portion of what you get up to.” He takes a drag, ashing the cigarette again. “I think you forget I’ve got a few years on you, pipsqueak. From one incorrigible flirt to another it’s not a judgement as much as a truthful observation.” 

Her shoulder burned where he shoved her, as if his hand had been made of fire. She wanted him to touch her again, longer this time, not just a lingering shove. “Oh but you would make a lovely damsel.” She giggled, biting her lower lip cheekily. “If you just grow out your hair a little bit...” She mused, and in a moment of bravery she reached out and ran her fingers through his blue hair. It was only for a moment, before she pulled her hand back. How long had she wanted to do that? For as long as she could remember. 

Once again she found herself blushing. She had always blushed easily, ever since she was child, her fair skin always giving her true emotions away. “Pipsqueak? Really?” She asked, rolling her eyes and turning her head away, hoping he didn’t notice her red cheeks. “Well maybe I don’t want to be an incorrigible flirt anymore...” Sure she had fun but it was growing old, and she wanted more. 

He didn’t care for how close she had gotten, when he was fairly sure that only minutes earlier there had been far more space between them on the couch. But he wouldn’t put it past Lily to start a game she couldn’t finish– all his life, at least for what she’d been around for, had been her trying desperately to catch up to the boys. He wasn’t really able to see it until a few years ago, hell he hadn’t given her nearly enough attention until that point at all. Until he left, sorted his mind, got it all straight was he able to see that outside of their blended family, Lily had become someone that he genuinely enjoyed being around, despite being a colossal pain in his ass. Somewhere in all of that, he supposes she grew up. 

“Wrong doesn’t mean it’s not suspicious– you know you’re talking to an ex-auror, right?” He leans his head back, checking to see if the rain was still falling. It was. “Here’s a list to put on your resume: Insufferable, terrible at manual labor, whines like a puppy who needs to go outside, decent fashion sense, inability to keep her ducks in a row, and…. incorrigible flirt. Did I miss anything?”

She cocked her head to one side, a slow grin spreading across her face. “Whats suspicious Teddy?” Her voice was filled with mock innocence and mirth. “You’re simply lending a helping hand to a damsel in distress. I’m sure my dad wouldn’t want me to catch a cold in the rain.” She batted her eyelashes, bringing her cigarette to her lips once again, and snuggled into his sofa. Suddenly she felt utterly relaxed, the sound of the rain hitting the window soothing her. She was curled into a ball, her head leaning against the back of the couch, her eyes tilted up at Teddy, her knee pressed against his thigh.

She resisted the urge to ball up her fist and show him just how insufferable she could be, but instead she settled on flipping him the bird. Could she deny anything he said? Probably not, except maybe the insufferable part, she preferred to think of herself as vexing, it had a better ring to it. “Incorrigible flirt?” She raised an eyebrow at him, almost daring him to say more. “I haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re referring to.”

“A little?” His eyebrows raise, but too soon he chokes, hiding the sound by coughing into the back oh his hand. Lily Luna Potter could not, he decided, make jokes like that around him. Not when there wasn’t several other people to block the energy that radiated off of her. He only felt more out of sorts as she reached over to him, her hand in dangerous proximity to his person. What on earth? He denied the need to pull his shirt away from his throat, giving him so space to breathe. His thought, oh his thoughts, fought him on the indecent nature of their being, and he criticized himself for the shower whiskey that had seemed like such a good idea before now, when his brain wanted to run rampant. 

“Dunno where you’ll find one of those around here.” He focuses on his cigarette with a touch too much intensity, taking a drag and ashing it– doing anything to make too much eye contact with her. “Pretty sure the only man I’ve ever met was your father, and I rather reckon it wouldn’t do to have him see you strewn about on my couch smoking a cigarette in my spare shorts.” Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. “I’m fairly certain that being a pain in my ass is a permanent place for you.” 

"Hey," She scolded, lightly hitting his arm in defense “I’m not that bad.” The truth was that Teddy was one of the only people that had always seen through her facade and called her out on her shit. Part of her hated it, an even bigger part of her needed it. It was one of the things that drew her to him, that made him different from all the rest, why she was a complete goner. She just wished she knew how to tell him. She let out a genuine laugh, one only her closest friends and family ever heard, because it was loud and completely unlady-like. “You alright there Teddy? Did I say something?” She asked, feigning innocence as she patted him on the back, his coughing fit subsiding. 

Her breath audibly hitched at his words, her heart racing at the implication. Suddenly the full scope of the situation hit her. She was in Teddy’s living room, sitting dangerously close to him, in his clothes, with no one else around to distract themselves with. How many times had she imagined a picture just like this? “Why is that? We’re not doing anything wrong.” She brought the cigarette to her lips, taking a puff all without breaking eye contact with Teddy. “Well I have to put something long term on my resume.” 

“Depends, are you ever going to stop acting like more than a baby?” He’d be lying if he hadn’t thought of her once or twice in the last several years, but there was something keeping him from ever traveling too far down that train of thought– it was just so messy to even go there in terms of logistics, and with every turnabout of the word innocent, Teddy couldn’t help feel like a bit of a cringey old man preying on a young innocent girl. “Don’t think I don’t baby your brothers either– they just hold it better than you.” He let his tone drift lazily into a bit of a flirt.

Teddy leans back on the couch, his right hand handling his cigarette with the ashtray he’s dragged into his lap. “Sounds…. Saucy.” He lets his eyebrows wiggle suggestively. “Boys can’t be trusted Lil– they only ever think with one thing you know.” He airs his hand suggestively. “You’re better off not messing around with those who could have you lose you Apparition license. Which– is that permanent?”

She bristled slightly at his words, pursing her pretty lips. “Alright fine, maybe I have, at times, acted a little babyish. A little.” She conceded, glaring playfully at him. He was right, she had played the babydoll in the past, and it was catching up to her, but she was trying to change, to be better. Truth was she hadn’t been a baby in a long time, anyone she partied with could tell you that, she just liked what that image had gotten her, in hind sight it was more trouble that it was worth. “Oh Teddy, you have no idea how much I can hold.” She smirked, her voice mimicking his flirtatious tone. 

She giggled as he made faces at her, her stomach flipping slightly. Lily Luna might have a number of short comings but confidence had never been one of them, especially with boys, but none of those boys had ever made her feel like Teddy. She laughed and swatted at his hand as he made an obscene gesture. “You’re right, I’m done with boys, I’ll have to find a man.” She said, leaning closer to him to tap her cigarette on the ashtray currently in his lap. “Nothing is ever permanent for me.” She said, flicking her red hair in an overly dramatic way, before breaking out in giggles. 

The stars on Jamie’s watch slowly circled the watch face, each soft tick a cruel reminder that it was no longer “very late night” but “very early morning.” He gazed upwards, tracing the constellation of cracks in his ceiling that he knew better than anything he’d been taught in Astronomy class. Three faint lines formed a spiderweb in the far right corner, one zig zagging across the plaster to meet with a fissure above his bed. He let out a long, loud sigh, wishing that he could simply bore himself into sleep. It hadn’t worked in the previous twenty-six years, but it was worth a shot.

Alas, his brain was too active, too connected to allow for it. Too much. He might as well make the most of the night, even if ‘the most of it’ was eating ice cream and reading part of a new anthology of short stories he’d picked up that week.

Jamie climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs, careful to soften his footsteps as he walked past his parents’ room. He wondered if they knew just how often he showed up at the breakfast table without even a few minutes of sleep. He hoped that they didn’t, and if they did that they didn’t worry. 

Making his way through the den, Jamie stopped abruptly as he heard scuffling, followed by a dull thud. He plucked his wand from behind his ear (rule number 73 of growing up in Harry Potter’s household—constant vigilance), exhaled, and turned the corner. In an instant, he felt silly for his preparations because of course it was Lily.

“I thought you were a deranged badger trying to break in and steal our foodstuffs,” Jamie said, taking hold of Lily’s arm. He felt like he was supposed to be stern or disappointed in this scenario, but he couldn’t help grinning at her. She was his bubbly, warm, familiar baby sister and a bit of partying was hardly going to change that. “And what if I did, hm? What’d you do then?” he teased. Not that he thought their parents would really care, but he also didn’t think that they needed to know. “I was on en route to ice cream, are you in?”

Lily laughed drunkenly at the startled look on his face. “Not a deranged badger, though I have been called worse.” She giggled, grinning back at him as she leaned into his grip on her arm. “I would make your life a living hell of course.” She said, smiling sweetly at him and tapping her index finger to his nose. She knew that James wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that. The Potter siblings may fight like cats and dogs some days but they always had each others back. 

“I would never say no to ice cream.” She said, linking her arm in his as they made their way to the kitchen, Lily stumbling slightly along the way. “Alright and are options are, rocky road, chocolate chocolate chocolate, pumpkin juice or, oh Merlin, who in their right mind bought plain vanilla?” She said, scrunching up her nose at the painfully boring flavor. She settled on rocky road, taking out a spoon and eating it straight from the carton. 

“So Brother Dearest,” She said, through a mouthful of delicious ice cream. “Do the parents know that you’re up past your bedtime?” She asked, giggling at her own joke. 

“Hullo to you too, little sister,” he stuck his tongue out at her and pulled open the fridge. “None of your business. Can’t I just be here to dote on you? Hm? I have to have a reason to visit my childhood home?” 

“Lily, why are you never at your own home? Mum and dad can’t take care of you forever, you know.” 

Lily returned his stuck out tongue with the finger before getting up from her perch on the sofa to follow him into the kitchen. “You can absolutely be here to dote on me. I would never turn down an opportunity to be doted upon.” 

She scrunched up her nose at him, leaning on the kitchen island. “Mum and Dad don’t still take care of me. They’re not even here!” This was a load of bullshit and they both knew it, but that wouldn’t keep Lily from defending herself. “Maybe I’m taking care of them, you know in their old age.”