I need a nap or a monster

Kinda like my new color

I'm so broke that I have to cut my own hair. The best part is that I dont have clippers so I just use a 7 blade razor cause fuck it

Ive been up all night stressing and worrying about my situation right now. So I moved from NY to Louisiana cause I got kicked out and shit with my family wasnt good at all.. in Kentucky I got into a car accident on the highway at 3 in the morning going 70 (that was the limit), mind you all of my belongings and my cat who was in the front seat, were in my car. I just bought my 1st car not even 2 months ago and spent all of my hard earned $ on it and saving to move, I had enough for a month of bills and gas $ for when I got down here giving me less than a month to find a job, but my car was totaled. Everybody was saying how lucky I was to not even have a bruise from my seatbelt.. but I didnt feel lucky, so I escaped death (again) big whoop. Because of it I feel as though my entire life has been fucked up. I got stuck in Kentucky for 2 weeks trying to find a way to get down to Louisiana. Luckily a battle buddy of mine from AIT and her bf lived literally the next "town" over and gave me a place to stay til they could drive me all the way down in their car. I had to leave some of my stuff there but at least I'm finally in Louisiana. Bad news is I'm broke, with no car, nobody will hire me and I cant get a job anywhere else out of this town cause I don't have a ride, and my friend is mad at me cause the closest army reserve unit that will take me is in Lake Charles so just a lil over an hour away and she said she wont give me a ride there and I dont have money to even buy a bike or else I'd just get a bike and ride it there for now. Like I dunno what to do cause ever since moving my life has gone to fucking shit. The day of the accident one of the 1st people I called and called rkl I finally got an answer 2 hours later and said what happened. I said exactly how I felt. Hos I wish I had died in it.. I wasnt lying. I wish I would've. Cause I wouldn't have to deal with any of this bs and be such a burden on my childhood friend and her bf for giving me a place to stay and eating their food and being in the way and being so useless here all the time. Everything I do just goes to shit and anytime I think I have a leg up life breaks it and says "ha good luck with that!" That's my whole life since the day I left, August 13th. Just one big sarcastic "good luck with that!" Well for those who wanted me to fail, there ya go. I failed. What else is new...