fierce mind.

thick  robes  are  wrapped  tightly  around  lily’s  body  as  she  slips  through  a  set  of  doors  in  headquarters,   sleeping  baby  tucked  underneath  fabric  and  against  her  chest.  she  knows  she  shouldn’t  be  there,  but  she  also  couldn’t  stay  at  home  alone  either.  genuine  security  was  seldom  found  when  she  was  by  herself,  especially  now  that  she  had  harry.  so  on  that  day,  she  goes  to  the  SAFEST place  she  could  think  of  --- the  order  of  the  phoenix  headquarters,  which  coincidentally  seemed  to  be  where  emmeline  was  assigned  as  well.  yet   another  reason  to  visit.  it  doesn’t  take  long  to  find  her,  and  when  she  does,  she  settles  next  to  her,  unwrapping  the  cloth  from  around  her  to  reveal  the  baby  in  her  arms.  “hey,  em.  thought  i  might  find  you  here.”  rose  colored  brims  curl  into  a  soft  smile,  free  arm  reaching  out  to  give  her  friend  a  hug.  “how  are  you  doing  ?  any  news  yet ?”

a dainty hand knocks on the door lightly before she enters, smile widening as she catches sight of her friend and baby. “hi ! i hope this isn’t a bad time. neville’s with his grandmum right now. she insisted on keeping him this afternoon so frank and i could rest a little bit.” resting was something alice had long forgotten how to do, so naturally she decided to pay lily a visit instead. even though alice was a little wary of leaving neville ( it was her first time, after all ), she decided to let it go this time. but she still can’t help but feel like her time with her son was already wearing thin. little neville had already grown so much in the past two weeks and with the added pressures of war looming over their heads, she just wished it wouldn’t slip through her fingers so fast. that was something she knew lily would understand. “how are you doing ?”

- ̗̀ @lilpctters

“are you admitting that you cheated on james with a midget, then? or, well, i suppose he’s … pretty short, so maybe it’s just genes.” she let out a soft chuckle, before nodding. “i did, yes! not that much, though — i was more an outside kid, but i had periods where i’d drag my doll around everywhere. she got pretty muddy.” lily knew her so well … it was almost terrifying. there wasn’t much between them that seemed to be kept secret – even if things went unspoken – and it was what made mary feel so good when she was around the other. and to see her now, as a mother, she felt proud as well, constantly beaming as she looked at lily. “oi, it’s not like you and james are the most relaxed people in this world, either!” mary took harry with great carefulness, looking down on his face with a wide smile. “i can’t believe you … made this, lil.” her voice was a bit smaller, then, hiding all the fears she had for harry. “he’s glorious.”

“i’ll say. i have half the heart to steal him for myself.”

emmeline giggled a little, though it came out as more of a snort as she attempted to quiet it so as not to wake the sleeping baby in her arms. her eyes were focused on harry’s face- her godson. it was an incredible word to think. she couldn’t stop looking. “you know, i can’t imagine loving anything more. and then i think of you and james and you must be feeling what i am tenfold.” a finger came to stroke at the baby’s soft cheek before she forced herself to tear her eyes away. “lily, i was ready to be a godmum when you first told me you were pregnant. this kid and i are going to have the best of times together. isn’t that right, harry?”

she smiled again, an ear to ear grin as she came to sit beside lily on the bed, ducking her head a little to watch the baby again.

the  sound  of  cries  echoing  throughout  the  potter  household  is  enough  to  jolt  lily  awake , eyes  shooting  open   as  she  sits  up  instantly   . she’s  already  on  EDGE , due  to   a  mix  of  sleep  deprivation  and  paranoia  because  of  that  damn  list  .    “i’ll  get  him  ,  go  back  to  sleep  .” hushed  words  are  meant  to  reassure  as  she  untangles  herself  from her  husband ,  movements  slow  and  sleepy  .   she  yawns  ,  rubbing  at  her  eyes  gently  before  rolling  out of  bed  .  feet  carry  her  to  the  crib  nestled  in  the  corner  of  their  room  ,  arms  already  stretched  towards  her  son  .   in  a  swift  motion  ,  he’s  out  of  his  crib and  tucked  in  her  embrace  ,  gentle  rocking  motions  attempting  to  soothe   him  .  it  had  only  been  a  couple   hours  since  the  last  time  she’d  held  him  ,  but  it  felt  more  like  an  eternity  .  “hi  ,  harry  .  what’s  wrong  ? mum  has  got  you  now  ,  don’t worry  .  shhh . . .” her  words  are  only  whispers  ,  but  they  FEEL louder  than  ever  .  ever  so  slowly  , she begins  to  tiptoe  around  the  room  , all  but  cooing   at  the  fussy  baby  in  her  arms  in  an   almost  desperate attempt  to  get  back  to  sleep   .  

mary was beaming as she looked down upon harry, unable to tear away her gaze from his tiny fingers as lily spoke. “are you sure he’s not a midget?,” she asked, finally looking up to meet lily’s eyes. she was so proud of the other, for making it through this pregnancy, for doing this, for her bravery. to have a child in these times was dangerous and scary, and here lily was, doing it. mary was absolutely certain that she and james would make the most wonderful parents, too. “oh, i guess i kind of am. when my sister was just a little baby, i was the best at calming her. what can i say? i am just a very calm presence.”  that was far from true – mary was more hurricane than breeze, on most days – but in that moment, she felt at peace. “oh, yes — i would love to.”

“he’s beautiful,” she says, looking down at the small child in her arms, refusing to show lily ( @lilpctters ) the tears she felt welling up in her eyes. it’s not like she’s ashamed of it, really — but she prefers to remain the emotionally reserved – and above all, reliable – professor in lily’s eyes. to show her emotional involvement would be foolish and unprofessional and not lead to much good. she assumes lily knows, though, that she cares. “and harry … a wonderful name.” minerva doesn’t have favourites, but lily and james are two students she misses in her classroom dearly, and to have seen them get married and have a son, in such times? she would be lying if she said it didn’t move her. “how have you been? did it all go well?”

“thank  you.”  there  was  something  about  minerva’s  presence  that  always  seemed  to  bring  lily a  surge  of  comfort  . maybe  it  was  because  she’d  always  looked  up  to  her during  and  after  her  time  at  hogwarts ,  or  because  she  simply  felt  safe  when  she  was  around  .  whatever  it  truly  was  ,  lily  was  glad she stopped  by  . “ it  was  long ,  but  overall  it  went  really  well .  now  i’m just . . .  adjusting  to it all .” it  was  a  big  change  for  the  young  parents  ,  especially  since lily  felt  like  she  was  still  a  child   sometimes  .  but  even  through  everything  ,  motherhood  came  almost  NATURALLY  to  lily .  either  that  ,  or  harry  was  just   a  easy  baby  .  she figured  she’d  find  out  soon  enough  .“ but harry  has  been  wonderful  so  far . really  he’s  the  sweetest  little  baby  .  and  i  think  he  must  like  you  too . ”  

“  isn’t   he  just . . .  the  cutest  thing  you’ve  ever  seen ?  ”  lily was  never  one to  gush ,  the closest  she’d  ever  gotten  was  with   cleo  ,  the  cat  she  and  james  owned  . but   she   was  completely   beside  herself   now  ,  absolutely  head  over  heels  obsessed  with  the  baby  tucked  in  her  friend’s  and  also  his  godmother’s  arms  .  “ not  that  i  didn’t  think   he  was  going  to  be  CUTE  ,  but  wow . . . james  and  i  did  well .”  she’s  only  half  joking ,  words  laced   with  humor  . she’s   feeling  more  like  herself  as  of  late  ,  partly  because  the  stress  of  birth  had  subsided  and  all  she  was  left  with  was  well  . . .  the  stress of  being   a  parent .  still ,  it  seemed  bearable  ,   mainly  because  of  the  handfuls  of  people  who   had  already  been  to  visit  them  .  strength  was  a   quality  lily  had  always   possessed  but  this  was  a  different  kind  of   strength  ,  something  more  fulfilling  . “ so  what  do  you  think  ?  are  you  really  up  for  being  a god  mum ? ” 

@lilpctters

“ — could have done this myself, you know, “ he says, his voice lighthearted, but worry lingering right below the surface, making itself known in hazel eyes. they’ve stopped at the baby aisle in the local grocery store, and james is currently balancing two different boxes of diapers in his hands. as if they haven’t stocked up enough already. he seems to decide to get both of them, and tosses them into the cart, attention quickly refocusing on his wife. “ so what do you think? we got everything we need? “

defeatsdeath:

they’ve done practically everything together for so long now, it only feels right that sirius should be the first person to meet their son too. first person, apart from them, to hold him. “ — course you should. “ there’s a smile on his lips ( a little tired, but still just as warm ), and his hands are stuck into the pockets of his jeans. he’s watching sirius and harry with anticipation and excitement, his hazel eyes lit up with affection. they’re his family — and though that’s a feeling that he has always had, harry’s the puzzle piece that has been missing, the piece that will make everything fall into place. “ see, you’re a natural already, “ he says, and a quick wink follows his words. the soft sound of the baby cooing makes his heart grow softer, warmer. so filled with love, for the three of them. “ think he likes you. “

@canismajcrs·

     “ do i look like the kind of guy that goes around holding babies, lil? “ he questioned. but, despite his words, he took her advice. allowed his body to go more slack into the chair he was sitting in as he held the child closer. sirius moved until he was holding him in a position that had been similar to what lily had earlier. glancing up at her, he gave her a look that seemed to ask if he was doing it correctly now. then, he looked back down at the baby that was in his arms and a genuine, bright smile tugged at his lips. “ hey there, little guy, “ he said. as he spoke, the little one reached out a hand to grasp onto one of sirius’s fingers. there weren’t many things in the man’s life that made him feel such happiness. but, the simple touch from the babe seemed to feel sirius with a warmth that he couldn’t quite explain. laughing, he glanced up at his best mate, “ think you’re right. “

@lilpctters· 

“ i   dunno ,  you’re  a  bit  of  a  wildcard  ,  black  .  i  wouldn’t  be  surprised  if  you  did  .  ” lily  can’t  help  but  tease  ,  shoulders  shrugging  nonchalantly  before  her  features  fade  into  something  softer  .  the  tears  that spring  into  her  eyes  next  are  inevitable  ,  delicate  fingers  quickly  wiping  them  away  before  they  fell  .  she  could  blame  it  on  her  raging  hormones  ,  but  lily  knows it’s  more  than  that  .   parenthood  was  a scary  thought  all  on  its  own  , but   just  one  look  at  the  two  men  next  to  her  was  enough  to  reassure   her   that  it  wasn’t  impossible  .  she’s  overwhelmed  by  the  love and  support  harry  had  already  , manifested  by  sirius  in  the delicacy  of  that  moment  .  they’re  FAMILY   and  the  world  seemed  a little  brighter  because  of  it .  “ you’re  doing  great  ,  sirius  .”  is  all  she  can  manage  ,  offering  an  encouraging  smile  .   “we  need   a  picture  .  james  ,  where  did   we  put  that  camera  ?   ”

@defeatsdeath @lilpctters

  “ oh.. i don’t know if i should.. “ the male began to protest as he was offered the child to hold. he was so small. so breakable. what if sirius did something that could BREAK him? then what? surely lily and james wouldn’t want him to be the kid’s godfather after that. but, despite his protests, the little squirming bundle was placed into his arms. sirius immediately felt himself go STIFF. “ uh… “ he said, glancing frantically from one parent to the other. he had hoped that he could find some cue of what to do next in their expressions. 

her  arms  immediately   feel  colder  as  her  son  leaves  them  ,  but  her   gaze  softens as  she  watches  sirius  ,  tired  eyes  blinking  slowly .  her  heart  ,   so  full  of  love  ,   felt  like  it was  going  to  burst  at  the  sight  of  james  holding  their  son  and  now  that  sirius   was . . .  she’s  never  felt  happier  .  “   no  way  ,   you’re  going  straight  into  the  deep  end  with  us  . ” she  was   new  to  this  too  ,  after all .  her  posture  shifts as  she  sits  up  in  bed  ,  hands  waving  in  some  form  of  directions  as  she  mimics  a  cradling  pose  .   “   hold  him  against  your  chest  ,  like  i  just  was  .  make  sure  you’re  supporting  his  neck  ,  though .  have  you  ever  held  a   baby  before  ? ”

“i’m glad to hear.  that’s fantastic.”  he glanced up at the shop sign, as if expecting the whole operation to fall apart once he walked away.  “finally taking my lunch break.  it’s getting to be that time of year, you know.”

— › task seven : wardrobe