Lilo and Bitch

i am nooooot locked the fuck in. im locked the fuck out. call the locksmith

Can't be. Watermelon skin is too thick.

Eviscerated. 

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

Modern day Medusa

tumblr finally getting its shit together and improving the user experience right around the time when all the other social media sites are collapsing due to greed and hubris is like the kids who got out of their small town to move to the big city finding love and settling down in their 30s just in time to watch their high school bullies get divorced

Anyone else feel the dread? Clap if you feel the dread

as i was slaying,

if you’re not cyborg from teen titans and you say booyah you should straight up die