LillytheZoroark

This is what happened, right?

I created a quick walkthrough on my process! You can do the same with any digital art program and brushes you like. As always, learning comes with critical thinking and if you feel this does not apply to you, then no worries! There’s no correct way to do things as long as you achieve the results you want. 

The technique can be customized with different brush types and colours, and can be as simple or heavily rendered as you so desire. I hope it helps a little! I like to do lighting like this in my own work for a sense of atmosphere.

Xiao x fem! Reader (The next fic that is not for Xiao, I’ll do gender neutral. And then I’ll try to get started on requests for both Tumblr and Wattpad. I can’t promise anything though, inspiration literally hits me at the worst of times and with stuff that is not part of a request. I am sorry for that.)

Warnings: blood, death, self-loathing if you squint, barely a constant plot. This is literally all over the place. Oh, and if you look really hard enough towards the end, very slight yandere themes. It goes hand in hand with one of the different endings. Read authors note at the end to see what I mean.

Wordcount: 1238k

Kinda edited.

==

 Xiao never told you anything relating to his past.

And you never asked, despite the curiosity that crawled up your back like an insect that would not stop bugging you. As much as you’d like to know more about him, to understand him even, you keep your distance; he would tell you whenever – if – he is ready. But that thought makes you want to laugh, sorrowful eyes hidden behind a glare of golden amber. Xiao was many things, and yet you know none of them, except for this polite, emotionally distant yaksha who does not like people in general.  You thought you okay with that, you really did. But as luck would have it, your curiosity devours you like snake in whole – you cannot escape it.

And maybe that’s why he had started to appear at the inn less frequently these days.

Maybe he could sense it in you, from the way your eyes tried to see through him, to how you would choose your words very carefully, as to not offend or alarm him. He was not dumb he has a sharp wit that helped him on many occasions. This was one of them, it seems.

It was your fault in the end now that you think about it.

(You’re sure he hates you which is why he left. You just wished he didn’t stay around long enough for these feelings to blossom like wildflowers. And maybe then, you wouldn’t be crying at the thought of not even seeing his face one last time, or his voice as he calls you ‘idiot’.)

Which is why, as your choke on your final breaths, you refuse to call his name. Crimson blood that coated your mouth and the ground, sinking into the fabric of your clothes, filling the air with a scent of copper. You choke on it. Your vision is blurry, the…what were you doing again? Ah. Yes. Climbing the mountain to find herbs for Verr, as she asked you to. You never thought it would result in your early death, much less falling from such a height it left you breathless. You wonder what her reaction will be once she hears the news of your death. Would she even hear it, though?

You want to laugh – it was just all so funny.

You think you can hear footsteps. You think you can hear yelling, but your body is turning cold, eyes closing, breathing slowing down. It’s becoming hard to breathe. To see. To even think. But as you close your eyes one final time, you managed to utter a single apology:

“I’m sorry, Xiao…”

(You apologize, thinking that all you’ve ever done to him was bother him.)

–

He thought leaving you would be better for your safety.

He’s an adeptus – something that is not human. A yaksha who knows only the art of fighting and killing, bloodstained hands that he couldn’t bare to touch you with. He’s seen many things, done many things, seen civilizations that fell to the most minor of things. Seeing a death or two does not affect him much, if at all, not even blinking an eye to the sight of it. He kills monsters daily, helps mortals if he must, huffing in annoyance if it is something unimportant. Something that is not fatal to them. Xiao has seen many things, done many things, and the cycle will continue for as long as he lives, the suffering hidden behind years-worth of a defensive wall he’s built around himself. It was for the best.

But then, you just had to come into the picture.

(He wants to hate you for it, he really does, but it’s so hard to when you’re the best thing that’s happened to him in years.)

With your stupid laugh, stupid smile, stupid voice that soothes him. Stupid touches that made him shiver in delight, stupid mindless chatter that filled the room, stupid gaze that tried to not only see through him, but to understand him.

Mortals are so utterly dumb and reckless, It’s almost laughable.

But he destroys everything he touches, fingers bleeding as they shatter like glass. In the end, Xiao a demon, and will always be a demon. And demons cannot love, for they can only kill. And to kill is to hurt. And dammit, fucking hell, he tried his best not to hurt you; kept his distance despite his longing for you and just you. The sound of your voice that helped him sleep at night when he decided to, hands running through his hair that lulls him to sleep, smile that makes his heart swell in love –

An emotion he thought he was no longer capable of feeling.

Demons always ruin things they touch. And he is a demon.

He didn’t want to destroy you.

(He thinks he can hear his own breaking.)

So, as his gloved fingers push away stray hairs from your face, he can’t help but think the sight is so hideous. You didn’t deserve any of this- you didn’t deserve wild animals feasting off your corpse, the people who found you being chased off by said creatures. You didn’t deserve the flaking brown blood that nearly covers your entire body. Lifeless eyes that stare into his very core, it makes him want to vomit. He wants the life in them, he wants you to get up and say it’s a prank. Even if it pisses him off to such a degree, he wants this to be nothing more than that – a prank.

But as he growls to scare off any animal that dares to show its teeth, the scent of copper fills his nose. He never wanted to smell blood from you. And he hates himself for leaving – maybe this could have been avoided if he watched over you, at the very least. Even if it was just in the shadows, he could have seen you fall, he could have made it in time to catch you, he could have saved you. But he didn’t, and that’s all he can accept. He can only accept the fact that you are dead and will always remain dead.

(Silently, he wonders why you did not call his name.)

(There’s a forbidden thought in the back of his mind – do you really have to stay dead…? There’s a way to…he shakes his head before the thought spreads throughout his mind. It goes against his morals he knows what will happen if he turns you into a zombie; he’s seen it with Qiqi. And like with Qiqi, he knows you won’t have past memories, won’t remember him, and there’s a very high chance that unliked the girl, you will have to be given orders to function.)

Under his breath, Xiao curses these emotions of his. If he didn’t have them, then he would not be so affected…and yet, and yet, and yet, he would have it no other way. Unknowingly you taught him to love, and again, he’s cursing you under his breath. If only he hadn’t fallen for a mortal, he thinks. Everything is so confusing. He hates you. He hates you he hates you he hates you-!

(Yet when he picks up your lifeless corpse, he holds it gently, as though he would break you otherwise.)

And, as he carries you, he wishes this was all a dream. Because then, at the very least, he could hold you in his arms, feeling your chest rise and fall, breath on his neck.

==

A/N: haha this is legit everywhere. I had no…complete plot for this if there’s even a plot. Just wrote what I wanted to. And…I am planning on writing two alternate endings that could be considered the ‘real’ ending for this depending on which one you want. This fic on itself can also be considered the ‘real’ ending as well. Personally, the happy one is going to be my ‘real’ ending because I actually hate angst to a certain extent…yet…I write it…and plan on writing more…

-♠

Hello there! Ahhh, I’m blushing here at your kind words (*´ω`*)

I hope this is alright! And it’s also my first fluff request! Ahhh, it’s been so long since I last wrote fluff so it might be weird…including Diluc –

Paring: Diluc x fem! Reader

Warnings: none

Contains: Just pure fluff, kissing here and there

Wordcount: 349

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 It was always so warm, with him.

The fireplace crackles, the rain outside pitter pattering against the winery’s roof. Everything seems so in place, head dizzy from the heat of your beloved and the fire, red hair blocking your vision somewhat as he digs his head into the crook of your neck. A hum escaped you as you absentmindedly play with Diluc’s hair, cheeks warm from the heat. “It’s a little too warm,” voice quiet, you take in his scent after saying that. “Is it? Do you want me to move then?” despite his question, he had no intention of moving away from his spot with you – you would have been a fool to even think it was an offer. A sly smile forms on your lips, “No, not at all. I was just wondering if your love for me makes you warm as mine for you does.”

It was a peaceful night, having Diluc all to yourself, for once. On his lap, you squirm a bit, giggling when he nudges his nose against your collar bone, a sly smile of his own painting his lips. “Of course. Why don’t I prove it to you, hm?”

You smile and laugh as he lifts his head up, eyes peering into your own. Ruby red that reflects your person, soft and gentle. Only around you. “Please do,” your fingers ghost over his lips. Soft, peaceful moments are hard to come by, which makes them all the more special. His eyes glance down to your lips, before closing, leaning in. His breath ghosts over you, and before you know it, he kisses you. It starts as a simple peck, pulling back with slightly hazy eyes before diving in for another one. Slow and gentle, they make your head spin. Your fingers undo the ponytail Diluc fixes his hair in, threading them through the red locks. You hum in content, only to whine when he pulls back, kissing your nose.

“I love you.”

Peaceful moments like these are hard to come by.

Which makes them all the more special.

“I love you too.”

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Some designs ideas I imagined for Luxord and Xigbar, this was supposed to be a “simplistic” draw/sketch but I finally wanted to test and improve my shading and coloring skills for digital drawing. It’s only a beginning but I think I beguin to really understand how digital drawing works (งòᎲó)ง

If you wish to “repost” my work, even outside Tumblr don’t remove/cut out my signature/URL and don’t claim the drawing is by yours. Commercial use is also forbidden.

Day 13 of Pride Aesthetics

yes it is I