Just Hold On To Me, I Got You

Why a Daxton endgame makes the most narrative sense and completes the arcs of these characters.

DEVI

Devi starts the show literally praying to the gods for a boyfriend. She wants to “shed her old identity” as the girl whose father died and became paralyzed. Paxton is described to be one of few “who raised her spirits,” and it was her desire to see him that helped her stand from her wheelchair. Paxton becomes part of her quest to heal and to “finally fit in.”

In S1, Paxton’s interest in her helps her to feel better about herself, like when he told her she looked “cool in that outfit.” But she’s so dependent on it that she makes questionable choices to keep it, like ditching her friends during their time of need.

By the end of S2, Devi’s self-esteem has grown enough that she is able to end things with Paxton if they can’t be public about their relationship. At the start of S3, they’re dating, and she walks into Sherman Oaks with the official boyfriend she started the show praying for.  But this time, when given a choice to support another woman but risk her relationship, she chooses to support another woman. 

Although she’s grown and has the relationship with the “boy of her dreams,” we quickly see it doesn’t “solve all of (her) problems,” like Dr. Ryan says. Devi doesn’t feel good enough for Paxton because no external thing can give her the internal healing she still needs.  In S1, Devi fantasized about Paxton telling her she has “the beauty of Priyanka Chopra with the incisive intellect of RBG,”  and even though Paxton basically tells her all these things in S3, she can’t believe him. 

By the end of S3, Devi is able to let go of Paxton the dream, and obsessing about a future where she finally fits in. S4 will likely be about her continuing to come into her own, to live in the present, and to heal – and her arc would come full circle in finally feeling good enough for Paxton and being able to accept all the love and care he has for her. 

PAXTON

Paxton starts the show as the most popular guy in school “because he was dope at swimming…and kinda pretty” – things that came naturally to him without hard work.  And things that made Devi like him from the very beginning of the show, without him having to do anything but say yes. 

But when he gets to know her more, he likes her.  

It’s also hard though because she does things that hurt him, and her mother also does things that hurt him. So he tries to distance himself to protect himself. 

When he loses his swimming career, he tries to get into college by cheating, feeling that Devi “owes” him. Rebecca helps him realize that nobody owes him anything and if he wants to succeed, he’s gonna have to work for it. And he does. He works in school and improves his grades.  He also has to work to keep a relationship with Devi, which he didn’t have to do at the start because she was already so into him.  She pushes him outside his comfort zone, and he has to grow to not lose her.  He faces his fears of being judged for getting back together with someone who cheated on him and in confronting his past mistakes with women.  

Although Paxton validly understood that Devi wasn’t ready for a real relationship until she worked on herself, he admits to Fabiola that he also wasn’t ready to be with someone as complex as Devi. But by the end of S3, Paxton has broken up with Phoebe because he needs someone who challenges him.

His arc would be most complete if he actually has to work to get back with Devi, because she’s no longer obsessed with the dream of him, and actively seeks out the emotionally complex relationship he has with Devi, which Lang has already confirmed in saying Paxton “is definitely still vying for Devi’s heart.”  

The show has set up their arcs perfectly to come back together.  Just as Devi would finally be ready for Paxton, Paxton would finally be ready for Devi.  When Paxton finds the candles and lamp scarves, Paxton asked Devi why she never did any of those things for him, to which she replied because she was worried he’d think she was lame. But Paxton never thought she was lame, even from the very beginning of the show. It was Devi who thought she was lame, but now is ready to just be herself – and be herself with him.  Even though Paxton always liked her, he was not ready for a full on deep relationship with her. But guess what bitches, they both finally are and it would be SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭 PLEASE LET US HAVE IT. Paxton would finally get all the candles and lamp scarves he deserves and Devi would finally get someone who loves her for all her emotional richness.  

And when the last part of the dream finally comes true – when Paxton tells her he loves her – she might just believe him ❤️ 

Now, as for…

BEN

Ben starts the show as a lonely, ambitious boy who derives his esteem from his achievements, and bullies his competition, who is usually Devi. They certainly push each other academically but not always in ways that actually make them better people overall. If he can achieve enough, he hopes he will get into Columbia and finally make his dad proud of him.  His primary S3 arc was realizing how his relentless pursuit of achievement was literally making him sick, and hearing from his dad that he was already proud of him.  We see him learning to let go and focus on his health versus winning, even telling Devi “I’m trying not to get hung up on what other people are doing” when she challenges him about why he’s not fighting to win Debate Team.  Ben’s arc would be most complete through his relationship with Margot – not Devi – because it’s Margot who helps him to “chill out” and “try to find an emotional connection.” It’s Margot who helps him connect with the part of himself that is “sad and bruised,” and “lonely and exposed.” And it is with Margot and in confronting his insecurities that he may actually, finally, find the healing he so clearly needs.

All the set up is there, but…whether or not we’ll actually get the ending they deserve is, unfortunately, a completely different story 😩😩😩 Which is why it’d be so heartbreaking if it didn’t happen. Not just because I love Daxton. But because I love this story and want to see it get the ending it’s built up to so beautifully. Not to mention, Daxton is iconic as one of the first romantic relationships on TV between two Asian American teens.

I told myself I should prepare for the worst to avoid a debilitating depression, and yet here I fucking am writing this post. Because I just love them. I mean, LOOK AT THEM 😭😭😭

In S1 Ep8, Paxton walks into the classroom and shows Devi her pictures and like…

Doesn’t stop looking at them. She is fully engaged in another convo, and he just is flipping through her pics. Then he starts engaging in another convo and he just… still has the pics up.

Now, I know most of that has something to do with Rebecca because he’s proud of her, but no one else knows that.

This guy is 17 years old, and is being asked to step way out of his comfort zone by inviting people to have an opinion about his life. He’s insecure about how he feels and he questions whether he’s good enough for Devi.

And he still shows up to the dance. The student councilor did not remind him Devi existed, she reminded him that they make a good team. He made a conscious choice to say fuck what other people think and he showed up to the dance for Devi because it meant a lot to her.

Adults don’t even do that shit.

Stepping up for someone you care for like that, especially when they’ve wronged you in a lot of ways, takes maturity and bravery.

Again, he’s 17 years old. And even when they walk into the dance, I don’t see someone who is embarrassed of her because if he was, he wouldn’t have gone. I see a kid who really fucking likes a girl and he’s worried about being judged just like everyone is.

AND HE STILL SHOWS UP.

Y’all if it ain’t Daxton at the end of this show, especially after season 3, I’m gonna be hella salty. Because my boy shows up time and time again for Devi. He is constantly going to bat for her, even with her, to show her how important she is.

Does he always get it right? Fuck no. Again, he’s a teenager. But he is trying.