Lilac Solanum

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown

BREAKFAST

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

Tumblr’s one true talent is making me sick of things I’ve never seen or read or heard.

there are two punchlines here, the first is predictable, the second really surprises you

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri

better go put on my special underwear, gotta get yardwork done today (if I ever get off this website)

this exact pose is the reason to bring back landlines - can't twirl a cord you don't have

(Puffing out my chest) Yeah well i’ve been followed and eventually unfollowed by several popular niche bloggers i hold strange amounts of respect for so you’d better watch who you’re speaking to that way