Our first picture together in August 2018 - last night.

My one friend, she was my MOH, close for the last 13ish years. Ever since i had Serena we barely got together. We would text regularly but then she had vacations planned and missed her first birthday and baptism. Never came around after with gifts or anything which I never minded bc it’s not her responsibility but still something I noticed. I’ve seen her twice since I was pregnant with Jordan. And Serena’s birthday passed in April, she never wished her a happy birthday. Okay whatever not a big deal. But we’ve barely texted in the last 6 months, stopped sending each other tik toks. She never reaches out so I stopped and we haven’t spoken since the last time I reached out in early May. So naturally I didn’t text her when I had Jordan 2 weeks ago, I just posted on social media bc she doesn’t check in on me or anything so why would I. But here we are 2 weeks later and I know she knows I had him because someone we have in common said they spoke about it. But she still hasn’t reached out or acknowledged my post on insta or fb.

My other friend, I texted her directly the day he was born with a picture because we are in contact more regularly, we exchanged a few messages and then here we are 2 weeks later and I haven’t heard from her again either.. like I don’t get it. She hasn’t checked to see how I’m doing or anything.

Soooo many emotions I’m feeling.

I’m so thankful for this little family I have. My husband is the greatest choice I’ve ever made. He’s the best father and husband.

Im also feeling so much anxiety and guilt about bringing another baby home.

I’ve had 2 incredible years with my girly and I’m so so so sad that it’s not just gonna be us and her anymore but I’m so excited to meet my little boy and give her the life long best friend I never got to have.

I pray that she accepts him quickly and doesn’t feel too much jealousy or sadness as we get used to this new life. I’ve researched as much as I can on how to best involve her in our new day to day and make her feel special and included always.

My baby Serena, I hope I can always remember the early days before baby Jordan arrived when it was just us and that years from now they aren’t lost to the chaos of life.

You really could not pay me to be pregnant a third time.

She came to me first this morning to let me know personally because her and I are cool, but like over a tik tok profile view? Girl come talk to me when there’s a DM and some flirtation.

Idk maybe bc I’m super pregnant but I just feel like that was unnecessary. She was acting like maybe he thought she was cute or something. Like are there any likes? A message? A comment? Anything other than a profile view or 2? Bye.

Social media is meant to be viewed and in my opinion it’s on her to either have private profiles or block whoever she doesn’t want viewing her shit.

Like am I wrong?

As soon as I got this job and got a feel for my co workers I blocked multiple people on Instagram just because that’s my platform of choice that I keep separate from people at work. Facebook I don’t care about, I don’t post anything on tik tok really. Snapchat I don’t post either.

Serena turned 2 and then She finally got ear tubes. I everything went great, her birthday and the surgery.

I became a Godmother to my beautiful little niece. I’m so proud.

Rabeeh and I bought a new house…. Right next door to his parents and tbh I’m so excited to be able to just pop the kids over the fence and run back in the house 😂

After all of the lay offs due to my company being bought by another, I was 1 of 12 of the 52 people in my department that got a job offer. I’m blessed. So thankful I don’t have to look for a job while on maternity.

I’ve got about 7 weeks left until I get to meet baby boy and I can’t wait.

Coming from someone who didn’t raise his daughter in home 24 hrs a day 7 days a week what does he even know.

I have to fight so many battles with her a day some things I just don’t care about. And also she’s 2 her brain and logic and reasoning isn’t developed??

Lots of moving pieces these days.

I’ll find out end of April if they don’t move the date again, if I have a job or not.

We’re considering buying a house Nextdoor to Rabeehs parents as either an investment property or to move into and rent out this one. With what money, I have no idea.

Serena’s birthday is on Easter this year, my sweet baby will be 2.

Baby will be here mid June.

My husband just found out from his brother that our SILs dad passed away a few days ago. So he told me first thing this morning. My daughter has been screaming and being a nightmare all morning so I planned on calling my SIL a little later.

She posted on social media about his passing and I viewed it so I sent her a text so it didn’t look like I viewed it and didn’t acknowledge the post.

She sent back a long message on how everyone but her sister in laws and brother in laws have reached out and how it’s been posted for days and she’s hurt about it.

But I haven’t seen a single thing posted, I spoke to my MIL Monday Tuesday and yesterday and nobody said anything to me about her dad.

I understand where she feels hurt but I’m not the kind of person to know something like that and not immediately speak on it. So it’s a little fucking offensive that she’s making this out to seem like we all knew and haven’t said anything.

Like come on bro I reached out within 3 hours of finding out. I called my other SIL and she said her husband never even mentioned it after finding out last night same time as my husband.

I am so proud to be able to be giving my husband a son. And not in the traditional way that people think having a son is carrying on the name or you’re “accomplished” if you have a son.

But in the way that he gets to have his mini and he gets to experience the joys I have with Serena, the daydreaming of getting our nails done together one day, putting her in dance class, shopping sprees, her stealing my makeup one day, and just doing girly things together.

I cannot wait to see him teach our son about sports and do all the boy things together.

I’m so thankful that I am able to give him that.

And just like he has his daddy’s girl, I get to have my mamas boy.

When I was pregnant with Serena everyone told me that my hormones would clash with hers and if I’m a nutcase that it’s normal.. it never happened, I was chill and normal my entire pregnancy.

Fast forward to this pregnancy, the testosterone rage is reaaaaal. Man I get angry so fast and so it’s so intense that it makes my head spin. It’s such a weird thing not being in control of my emotions I’m always so in control.

Baby boy moves a lot! Serena was a chill baby she slept all the time but this baby never stops kicking and flipping around. I’m scared lol he’s gonna come out so active and I am not readyyy

But I’m ready to meet him you know.

Monday my manager forwarded the HR approval of my promotion with my new title and pay and I am so so so happy.

I am shocked. I am grateful. It’s incredible. I was really hoping for $2 more and I got an almost $5 dollar increase! I could pass out from joy.

Also found out Saturday that I am pregnant with baby #2 so that is also incredibly happy news.

It’s been a good week.

I have no one I can talk to about the absolute chaos going on in my mind.

im sick over this.

It’s not exactly the same, but it’s not exactly different.