Do you have any good tips for fingering/handjobs on girls with dicks? I want to make my new trans gf feel good but have no idea what I’m doing.
a little bit! the basics include like, trimming and filing your nails, doing a couple hand stretches beforehand to stave off cramps, putting a towel underneath her beforehand, and plenty plenty plenty of lube. probably more than you think. other than that:
if either or both of you are new to it, as in this situation, i recommend a nice easy missionary sorta position with her laying on her back -- it's usually more relaxed and natural for her, and it will make communication easier (i like to watch my partners' faces and bodies fairly closely to gauge what is or isn't working).
start with one finger and generally curve/stroke upwards gently, you're largely looking to stimulate her prostate. it should feel texturally different, a little denser and with a bit more of a twitch/pulse to the surface if that makes sense -- you'll know it when you feel it, for the most part.
Before adding fingers or really getting into the penetration/thrusting stuff, focus on her prostate. i like giving firm, smooth strokes upwards and then back -- people call it a come hither but it's a little less rigid than that, you want to be primarily applying pressure with the pads of your fingers and then smoothly drawing them backwards while maintaining that pressure. the prostate tends to need a little more stimulation/slightly more prolonged stimulation than the vaginal g-spot in my experience, less of a hammering and more of a massage. a lot of women find the stimulation of their walls/the actual act of fucking super pleasurable, too; but initially i think it's easier, safer, and yields better reward to focus on those good good nerve clusters first. if she's newer or nervous, this will also help her brain associate penetration with pleasure and start to normalize the feeling of getting fucked/fingered
focusing on her prostate will give you a little more stamina, but you're still pretty liable to start getting hand cramps. the second your hand or wrist starts getting tired or getting that twitchy ache in it, change positions/brace the back of it with your knee/don't try to push through, this might mean a momentary pause/change up but if you keep pushing you're liable to get a full on cramp and you'll need to stop
re: handjobs (i assume you mean while fingering, since you've got a hand to spare there): communicate with her about what she's okay with in terms of touch -- some girls i've been with love getting a handjob while being fingered, others find it dysphoria inducing, it's best not to make assumptions here. if she's good for it, i've generally had better results focusing on girls' tips and being fairly gentle with their dicks while fingering them, since prostate stimulation can increase sensitivity and make more intense hand stuff kind of painful for some people. try a little less gripping/deep strokes and more tender, rubbing, circling the thumb around the glans sort of motions; it's also a ton of fun to tease her with your tongue a little here
also this is a given, but, don't just focus all your attention between her legs! giving her a handjob can be a good finisher, especially if she has any trouble finishing purely from prostate stimulation, but if you ignore her tits i'm letting a snake loose in your house. play with her nipples, suck on her tits and work your jaw into the tender spots there, let her know that you want to devour her in her entirety. there's sooooo much you can and should be doing with the extra hand while you're fingering her tbh. for more tender moments, i really like wrapping that arm around her and holding her in close to me, both to comfort and reassure her AND to bring her into a better range for sucking bruises into her throat. if you're getting rougher with it, it's a lot of fun to grip one hip and sort of pseudo-pull her onto your hand like she's a fleshlight (you probably won't get enough of a hold to Actually pull her around like this unless your hands are big and she's teeny tiny, but just rocking her back and forth with your grip is enough to sell this one ime)
afterwards, get her a towel to help wipe off any spare lube, preferably dampened with some hot water on one half/one end (it should cool to pleasantly warm by the time you get it to her). most lube gets at least somewhat sticky afterwards and sucks to have on your skin, and for her comfort you should be using enough lube that a good bit will spill out and onto her thighs
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