“i’m going to have to trade my coffee in for some oj because unlike you i can’t survive on the stuff. but hey, that sounds like a fair enough deal to me.” he was relieved that he wouldn’t have to do the thing he usually does and float around the cafeteria socializing with a table at a time. it was exhausting but a good practice of his to keep from giving in to the urge of picking the furthest table in the back and sketching for himself. “i promise.”, he said holding up the curl of a pinky finger out to her.

“and these fries aren’t so bad. if you give them the chance not to get cold.” he was referring to the fact that he had basically abandoned eating his own order to draw. “what would you say if i ordered two more for the two of us?”, he suggested, finally giving the waiter the cue he needed to move in on their table.

he shook his head right back, almost instantly. “that’s not true.”, he muttered. he knew he didn’t want to start a back and forth about this with henry, but he had faith that he was right. he rolled his eyes at the comment about the kids with withdrawal. he knew that the other sold drugs, but who didn’t? it wasn’t anything he judged him about, but he did feel uncomfortable talking about it out in the open only to be followed with the image of samuel in jail. “yeah... well...”, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, “nothing we can do to help him now.”

“yeah...”, was the lamest response but for a moment of hesitation and lack of a better response that was all he could say. the thought of returning to the place where it all happened: where everyone’s lives changed completely very recently. “i think we all are.”, he suddenly spoke in a quieter tone, as if anyone overhearing him admit this would cause everyone’s fragile state to come apart at the seams all at once. “but..we have to. go back, move on.” it felt entirely too soon to talk about any of that right now. “anyway, if it helps at all... you’re not alone i’ll be right there with you. in school. and scared. but if nothing else goes right on monday at the very least we know we’ll show up for each other.”

“yeah, if your goal was to make us go into shock.”, the boy fired back. he wasn’t even sure the last time he had this much coffee in a row, but he wasn’t about to complain about the time they had spent in the cafe. “which might already be the case.” miles not being as conditioned to coffee intake as the other was already at the brink of getting jittery. he made a point of this by mock amplifying the way his hands naturally began to twitch ever so slightly to an over dramatic tremble before ceasing. “seriously, you’ve got to live off this stuff or something to be this used to it but how?”

“i would have to agree with you on that one.”, he agreed. the question was like a punch in the stomach, suddenly the situation felt serious and less faux casual as it had. “okay.”, the lie slipped out his slightly upturned lips almost instantaneously, replacing the usual lie of i’m good he was used to telling. lying about how he felt came natural, but in the current state at least he had an excuse to be just okay even if that was a lie in itself. being good felt almost insensitive and too soon anyway. “you?”, he asked, eyes moving up to meet her face.

“uh no. not at all.”, he shook his head as he got himself to blank piece of paper before looking up at the familiar face. “i was wrapping up anyway.” he glanced at the biology books now on the table. “do you study here often?”

“i did.”, he nodded. “i wasn’t sure if anyone was up for stale fries and bad company yet.” it was attempt at a joke that not only landed stale into the space but was timed so poorly that the waiter had been walking by to hear it. it got him a stern look from the employee that continued to walk to the table they were headed to which was about the only funny thing about it. he was definitely off his A game at being entertaining company. “you came alone to.”, he said turning his attention back to ava after clearing his throat.

miles just as carefully took the cup of coffee, setting it down onto the table. “thanks. i really appreciate this, ne’.”, he shared, glancing down at the coffee although he wasn’t good at hiding the fact that the statement had a double meaning. it helped him a lot to not be alone at the moment or worse with his parents and their thousands of check ins and questions.

“that must be it. something about the quiet loner in a diner booth must be appealing. i mean, it brought you here.”, miles joked. he laughed over the fries fiasco which fell flat in the still air as the moment was quickly snuffed out. he watched her order, shifting uncomfortably at the waiter who had watched him for the last hour waiting for him to leave. “no, i’m okay. thank you really.”, he said to both her for offering and the waiter for not actually kicking him out.