i shine, darling

sometimes i look at the stars and try to find all the lights that forge my constellation and when i can’t find mine i look for yours.

you were the promised child made of prophecies and ruins you were always made for history never for the living you were not meant to wonder or to long for love or skin you were for legends to be dressed in myth and bathed in bloodshed you were made for glory  made for ruins by prophecy not to live, but to die.

you drip on your canvas enough for it to yield dip, and collect you in a puddle rich, pigmented, staining your fingers you don’t see how you’re draining yourself of colour        you blend and stroke as shadows shrink and grow the tick of the clock is incessant as you bleed rich, pigmented, staining your fingers you don’t know if you’ll close those grey eyes, you’ll sleep.

he is a dreamer forever lost in thoughts soft at the edges curves to his mouth     he is a soldier lost in wars blood on his hands in his mouth.

the earth only knows to take hands reaching and mouth agape doesn’t care for what it holds or what lies beneath its stones the earth only knows to wait eager for the bells to toll.

let the highway empty out before us let the world get left behind us till there’s nothing but us the highway and the stars.

and i think that i could fall for you bit of feelings springing forth dawning and still obscured and unrequited like all the fleeting glimpses i took memorizing your looks at distance and yet still close enough to jump-start the beating of my heart and even though it’s unrequited, and perhaps especially because it’s unrequited do i want us to meet again.

all i need is        e v e r y t h i n g on the tip of my tongue but everything is                   temporary and nothing lasts forever.

this is where you left us in the stench of the earth where the soil scorches and burns these are our remains our history in the dirt where the flowers no longer grow.

i’ve been kept from loving you the way i’ve always wanted to

we live in the gulf that lies between us always, always on the verge of falling deeper where harmony ceases to exist and we only love each other for the discord we bring where i hate you for what you do to me you hate me for the same and we know there’s nothing to this nothing to every brutal word on our tongues nothing to the rare fleeting feelings of love there is only the adrenaline rush where we press and we push and we shove living for the edge the precipice the drop.

you may yell        break your voice to a thousand pieces strain your vocal cords to mere strings till you’re hoarse and then breathless (and you do it all again)        you may launch a thousand insults a thousand sticks, a thousand stones break my bones to fucking splinters make me your very own war zone         you may bring me to tears break my will at times have me so disheartened that my cheeks may never dry       you may play your little games give threat after threat think that i’m too nice that i’d forgive and forget      oh no my friend i am vindictive.

o dreamer wring your hands give me some of what you dream give me oceans, raging seas rainwater and rivers come dreamer wake.

every moment  that we spend together is suspended in time skin to skin, so infinite when our hands are intertwined where you never end and i never begin and we’re just two hearts born in sync forever kept in time.

i used to know you by all that you were now i only know you by your ghost your echo, your memory where you sit at the edge of my periphery all your colours washed up taunting me with your lips at a tilt trailing your cold on the skin of my neck confessing all your secrets all your truths telling me you love me more than you should before i’m left.

concept; you and me in a field of grass hands to touch, to brush to twine together and nothing to disturb us.