jojo

once you picked up kaeya as a client, it gets a little bit easier to expand your...business. soon enough you began to look around to see who else you can rope in. childe seemed to fit the kind of student you were looking for perfectly. he's rich, loose with his money, and known for neglecting his studies.

as far as you know, childe's family runs this large toy company. as the oldest in the family, he's expected to inherit the company. but with his parents eyeing his grades, you doubt it'll be an easy journey if he doesn't start doing something about it.

when the two of you are finished studying, childe won't hesitate to drag you along to some kind of life-changing adventure. you end up going to luxury shopping malls and family-brand stores often. he'll often pick different outfits here and there and shove them into your arms regardless of what you have to say about it.

"don't worry. i got too much money to spend. besides, i'd love to see what these things look on you," he says with a wink. you don't think too much hard about it.

through these escapades, the two of you bond over a lot of things. you two talk about how it feels to be the eldest in the family. and though you two are in severely different social classes, you two can relate to being some sort of backbone for your siblings.

you also learn about childe's inability to use chopsticks. he offered to pay double if you could somehow teach him, but some things in life are just impossible no matter what you do.

with childe, it seems a bit easier. you have someone to vent your frustrations with without having to be afraid of judgment. it's as if you two could become actual friends.

except, childe is really touchy. there's not a study session that goes by without his head on your shoulder or his free hand intertwined with yours.

"it helps me think better," he murmurs into the crook of your neck.

you don't really believe him, but you shrug it off. childe pays more nowadays. he's added more hundreds to your paycheck, not that you're complaining.

"sometimes, i just want to shrink you down and put you in my pocket," childe whispers. after a particularly stressful practice test, he's holding onto you particularly hard. "that way you can be my little secret. you can even whisper me answers during a test."

you tap your pen on his nose. "in your dreams. we both know that even if i whispered the answers, you'd still pick the wrong one."

"hey! aren't you supposed to be helping me?"

"i'm helping you learn, not cheat. there's a big difference."

he huffs. "yeah, yeah, whatever." he's clearly pouting.

it takes a bit of practice, but now you've gotten comfortable towing the line like this. you've managed to be open enough to make your clients relaxed, but withdrawn enough to dodge any unwanted advancements like you don't know any better.

childe may seem a bit demanding, but he's not very good at communicating what he really wants. you'll take full advantage of that any day if it means lining up your pockets.

sure, childe's been hinting at you for a while now that he's interested in being more than study buddies (or friends, for that matter), but you're good at pretending at not knowing anything.

so on one fateful day, when you start hearing weird things coming from his basement, you keep your mouth shut.

sometimes, ignorance is bliss.

scaramouche is a bit of a loner. a wanderer, if you will.

with his prickly personality, he tends to keep to himself most of the time. you don't know much about him, other than that he was once separated from his family as a young child and only reunited with them recently. he may come from a rich background now, but he grew up in an orphanage. he hardly seemed to be the type to pay as much as childe or kaeya.

so it surprises you when he suddenly plops a textbook onto your desk. it falls with a loud bang! that startles you and everyone within the vicinity.

he doesn't even look at you when he says, "hey... i heard you were good at this. can you help me?"

peering up at you is a history textbook.

you beam at him. "you've come to the right place."

scaramouche doesn't say much during your sessions unless he's asking you something, which doesn't happen too often. in fact, most of the time he usually struggles in silence. whenever you try to offer him some help, he'll make some kind of snarky remark of not needing any help from a "commoner," even though he's the one who asked for help in the first place. sometimes you don't even know why you're here. but he pays, so.

it's also kind of entertaining. you'll look up from your notes to watch him slightly puff out his cheeks in frustration. it's actually kinda cute.

your sessions together are relatively normal, which is a nice reprieve from childe and kaeya. at least, you think so.

but scaramouche shows up everywhere. he's there when you leave the restroom, when you're at the school library. you haven't actually seen him outside of school, though. not unless it's one of your "tutoring" sessions.

but he's... getting kind of creepy.

you act like you're joking when you tell him he's your stalker. you're not joking though.

he pretends like you're delusional.

"what, have you been counting how many times we've seen each other? if anything, it feels like you're the stalker here."

he says that, but you can't help but feel like there are a pair of eyes glued onto the back of your neck when you walk home.

if scaramouche was a surprise, alhaitham is a fucking jumpscare.

he catches you off guard. you don't have any appointments after school that day, so you take your time leaving school and even plan on doing some grocery shopping.

well, it's all gone to shit the moment you catch alhaitham blocking your exit.

this entire situation is strange.

first of all, he's a year above you. the content his class is covering might even be more advanced than yours, especially with the multiple cram schools he surely goes to.

second of all, he's in first place among the second years, not to mention the entire school. in face, you should be the one asking him for tutoring.

so why is he here?

"me? tutor you?" you ask incredulously.

alhaltham doesn't react, though. "i heard you managed to pull childe from a straight D student to averaging B+'s on his exams in three weeks."

"and? i just gave him some tips here and there. really, he just need a little push."

alhaitham's the second year representative and on the school council. you're sure what your doing doesn't necessarily go against the no job policy at school, but you don't want to push it. one word from him and you might just lose your biggest stream of income.

he doesn't look like he believes you. he doesn't.

instead, he pulls a neighboring desk closer and pulls out a bunch of assignments like he's been stockpiling them and gets to work.

you've handled kaeya's flirty quips and almost too personal gifts. you've handled childe's touchiness and the ominous double life he seems to have. you've handled scaramouche's constant appearances in your life, like he's trailing after you.

what really hits the nail in the coffin is how alhaitham behaves around you, especially when other people are around.

you catch him staring at you in the hallways from the corner of his eye. unlike your other clients, alhaitham is staring down at you like a predator.

and he doesn't even have to hide it.

he's too trustworthy. no way the studious, diligient alhaitham would ever be obsessed with an underclassman, right?

but he keeps showing up in your classroom. he comes in under the guise as a member of the student council. it's for promoting a new event, a new policy, reminders for the next exam, just to talk to other students.

but really, he's here for you.

and it feels so... invasive. he can come in and out of your school life so casually, and no one would ever suspect a thing.

you consider calling it quits. maybe you shouldn't have enrolled into this academy in the first place. you could pass entrance exams to other schools, ones that will let you have a job outside of school. sure, they won't be as prestigious, nor necessarily guarantee you a life of comfort after graduation. but it sure as hell beats this, right?

no, it won't, you realize.

they have the money and power to follow you. it doesn't matter where you go. kaeya has the connections to sweep anything under the rug, childe knows about your siblings, and you're pretty sure scaramouche knows where you live.

fine. fine then.

you didn't ace the entrance exam in the most prestigious schools in teyvat for nothing. despite having no resources, no money, you've surpassed all your peers. you've infiltrated the lives of the elite, wedging your way into their psyche. you know how the system works. you know how to get into their heads and play the game. smile a little, flirt a little, play hot and cold, drawing a thin but firm line without provoking the beast.

if that's how it's going to be, fine.

you'll pull the leash on these spoiled kids and graduate in one piece, no matter cost.

“first it was the student council president, now phainon?” himeko notes. 

“why are you so surprised, she’s always been popular,” march 7th replies, munching on a strawberry pocky stick all the while. she turns to you. “i mean, lots of people have always been confessing to you, right?”

you laugh delicately. “i’m not sure about that.” oh, but you’re very sure. with top-tier grades, top-tier personality, and top-tier looks, it’s no lie to say you’re somewhat of an idol of the school. 

you wink. “oh, but i am cute, aren’t i?” if only they knew you were secretly a degenerate who spends her free time reading smut and fantasizing over men who aren’t real.

march 7th laughs. “of course you are.”

the conversation cuts short at the mention of your name. 

the three of you turn to the doorway to see jing yuan talking to one of your classmates. when he notices, jing yuan waves you over. 

march 7th elbows you with a devious look. “speaking of the student council president…”

“oh hush,” you playfully chide, “i’m sure it’s nothing.”

himeko raises a brow at that. “knowing him? it never is.”

when you ask jing yuan where the two of you are going, he merely brushes it off, throwing whatever dumb excuse there is.

“we’re heading to the student council room.”

“for that?”

“you’ll see.”

as you walk down the hall, you find yourself entering an empty classroom, jing yuan closing the door behind you.

“but this isn’t the student council room—”

wham! jing yuan’s arm slams into the wall, effectively cornering you between the wall and him.

he kabedon’d you.

ka. be. don.

kabedon?

KABEDON?!

oh gods. it’s like in one of those shoujo mangas you read where the male lead traps the female lead in an ultra-romantic confrontational scene. you swear there’s cherry blossoms falling in the backdrop. and… and is kiss! kiss! fall in love playing?!

no… with this kind of atmosphere, it might be love, maybe instead…

“are you even listening?”

“oh, uh huh, yeah…”

your face is flushed, your heart practically beating out of your chest. you wish you could astral-project out of your body to take a photo of this. no one has ever done this to you before!

he sighs. “did you think about my proposition?”

“proposition? what proposition?”

“to be my girlfriend.”

those words take you back to reality. “oh! yes, that. i thought i already told you? i want to focus on my studies.”

he leans closer, close enough that you can feel his breath tickling your nose. now, jing yuan may be a 3d guy, but that doesn’t mean he’s good-looking, even by your standards. he’s like a sculpture handcrafted by the gods. it takes everything within you not to just kiss him. 

no… your husbandos wouldn’t like that…

“but you’re giving an exception to phainon?”

“phainon?” you ask. 

sure, he’s been tagging along lately like a lost puppy, even with the continuous ogling from your peers. ever since his glow up, people have been confessing to him nonstop, yet he still chose to hang out with you. he sits with you at lunch, and he partners up with you in gym class whenever opposite-pairings are required. but that doesn’t mean you two are a thing.

“phainon and i aren’t dating.”

“oh really? i bet phainon thinks differently.” 

“it’s not my fault he thinks i like hot men’s dicks!” you blurt out.

the words are out of your mouth before you can even properly filter them. 

you clamp your hands over your mouth in shock. 

you and you’re big mouth, you think. 

jing yuan looks so astounded you want to take a picture. it’d definitely be a good meme. 

maybe… maybe you don’t need to worry! jing yuan is much too strategic to go about airing your business, especially if he likes you. he likes you for your poised persona, if you two ever dated and your secret got out that’d do numbers to his reputation. so your secret is probably safe with him—

“oh my gods! i’m so sorry!” 

your blood runs cold. 

you turn your head slowly like a robot to find march 7th at the door. 

she shuffles around, shy. “the homeroom teacher’s looking for you.”

you might trust jing yuan not to say a peep, but even without any ill intention, march 7th tends to be a little loose-lipped. 

“so… hot men, huh?” jing yuan murmurs, amused.

you look back at him, scowling. if your face felt hot before, it feels like it’s on fire now. 

“not. another. word.”

even though march 7th has apologized several times over, you know the damage has already been done. even if you warn her not to, you know march 7th is going to spill the beans eventually to everyone and anyone who’ll listen. 

well, it’s not as if you mentioned anything related to fictional men. it could be worse. everyone likes hot dick, right? you’re teenagers… it’s completely normal… yes, it’s not the end of the world…

the world ends right when argenti, president of the beauty club and honorary member of the theater club, slams open the door to your classroom. 

what is with everyone and slamming doors?

he struts in like some kind of diva, an air of the usual confidence and pizazz surrounding him like a thickly-applied perfume. 

he strides up to your desk.

“so, i heard you like hot men?” he flips his hair. “well, here i am.”

your soul leaves your body right there and then. 

you sink down in your seat. “yep… that’s me… lover of hot men…” 

internally, you’re waving your reputation as an innocent goddess goodbye with a white flag and tissue. 

as if it couldn’t get worse (it always gets worse), argenti kneels down with a rose in hand, his other over his heart. 

“won’t you do me the honor of being the love of my life?” 

everyone is whispering now. you can practically feel the charisma and gracefulness you worked so hard for draining from your body

“i mean, i’m beautiful, you’re beautiful… it’s like the whole entire universe is simply calling us to be together. we’re practically soulmates, my love.”

you sink down into your seat, face flushed. argenti’s practically reading off of some shakespearean monologue now, his words blending together into a big mush of nothing. all you can feel is the stares of your peers burning into you from all directions.

“oh, and it’s dick you want, i’ll have you know that i am more than well-endowed—”

just then, you receive a notification on your phone. you don’t hesitate to stand up from your seat and book it.

“sorry, gotta take this call!”

“but wasn’t that a text notification—”

“excuse me!”

you make your way out into the hallway. though there’s some students here and there, it’s relatively quiet. 

you take a breather outside of the classroom before opening your phone only to immediately turn it off and look around like you almost got caught watching porn. 

you kinda did.

right smack dab on your lock screen is a text from phainon.