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YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

One Nice Bug Per Day
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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then & now
I realize full well how hard it must be to go on living alone in a place from which someone has left you, but there is nothing so cruel in this world as the desolation of having nothing to hope for.
Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (via larmoyante)
copy cat

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Dear Diary #121116 Dear Diary, Hmm i wonder if anyone would still be around this space if I posted anything. But I guess when emotions get a little pent up it's good to still let it out somewhere. Regardless of whether i decide to post it. I think there are like 10 drafts in my drafts folder but there's actually probably 100s of drafts written in my head, forgotten. Don't really think anyone will seriously be around here, but I'd like to think there may be some random soul who is and this is my little (or is it? it's on the internet.) space of sharing my innermost thoughts. So today i got reminded of my grandmother, and it became a day I really, really, really missed her. There are days where I just suddenly remember she's not in the next room from mine. And there are days where i suddenly remember the touch of her wrinkly skin. Sometimes I just sit there, and I suddenly realise I can never try to be a better granddaughter anymore. I can never again tell her face to face: I love you, mama. But i know she'll hear it somehow, she'll know I love her always. 22102016 was one of those days. I was planning our family trip to Taiwan. Our first family trip flying together on a plane. And I suddenly remember when my family always went on road trips to Malaysia, but my grandma never wanted to join us because i think she didn't like travelling alot. I suddenly remember that long ago, I once wished that one day, my family with my grandma could go somewhere for a holiday together. That draft before was 3 days before I left Sydney for home. The doctor told my family she'll probably last for 3 months. And all I could think of was how those 3 days would feel like 3 whole months and more. And almost every moment was spent thinking about her. Who knew, on the last morning I'd wake up crying to my phone. Sometimes it scares me how fast time flies. How fast we continue on with life and move on. It has already been 5 months. Although it's true she'll always be in my heart, and I'll always love her, I'm also scared someday i'll forget something about her. And maybe day by day while we get old, we all forget something, bit by bit. But i guess no matter what, love will always remain timeless. Love, Ching Ee.
"더 깊이 더 깊이 상처만 깊어져"
Dear Diary #230816 Random musings. Not actually random at all. It's just resurfacing from a pool of other thoughts, when it's about to get drowned in them. Love, Chingz.
DID YOU KNOW?
that 뱁새 (baebsae) are birds called crow tits, which are any of various small birds of paradoxornis or related genera that resemble tits found especially in korea. its these little guys right here ^^
cute, aren’t they? ;DD
now, there’s a korean proverb that goes like this, “뱁새가 황새 걸음을 걸으면 가랑이 가 찢어진다” which translates to, if a crow-tit walks like a stork, it will break its legs, meaning if you overdo something or try to imitate someone better than you to make yourself look more/better than you are, you will just bring more hardship upon yourself.
so when rapmon and suga starts the song with
they call me baebsae we were cursed at, this generation quickly, chase ’em thanks to the stork, my legs spread so call me baebsae we were cursed at, this generation quickly, chase ’em my teachers who were born with a gold spoon and chopsticks
they mean
the society calls us a try hard we had a hell of a hard time, our generation so quickly, chase ‘em away cos thanks to the storks’ societal boundaries, our legs are bruised so call us a try hard we had a hell of a hard time, our generation quickly, chase ’em away our teachers who were born with it all
because in korean society, crow tits refer to normal people/lower class or the younger generation while storks refer to the ‘better’ higher class people, or supposedly, the older generation.
and i like how j-hope voices his concern by pressing on this issue further and mention the stuff normal people face everyday like
if you go to a part-time job, it’s “passion pay” if you go to school, it’s the teachers the superiors who use violence/abuse their authorities and the media that go on about every day about “the forsaken generation”
i thought people should know that “열정페이” or “passion pay” is a term koreans refer to the extremely low wage that companies pay to young people where these workers get paid much less than they should be getting (often less than minimum wage) for a job in hopes that the workers’ “passion” will somehow compensate for the lack of a livable wage. its terrible.
as for “포 세대” or “the forsaken generation”, when IMF crisis happened in the late 90s, a lot of countries suffer from economical depression, including south korea. and because of the social pressures and economical problems such as rocketing prices, tuition, housing prices, and so on, a lot of people in this generation are said to easily give up on few things central to what is normally considered a complete life, for example, love, marriage, and raising children. and it’s precisely because of this term used in the song is why i think ‘stork’ is also referred to the older generation, in addition to the higher class people ^^
i also thought it was brilliant how suga just single handedly pointed out why the societal boundaries set by the storks are ridiculous and not fair because
i have the legs of a crow tit, you have the legs of a stork they say, my legs are worth a million dollars but mine are short, so how can we play/do the same events? they say, if it’s the same meadow, it’s okay Never Never Never
he is saying that his generation are at a disadvantage compared to the storks because crow tits and storks are obviously DIFFERENT species so they are playing in a different meadow, its poles apart, which is NEVER OKAY
and rapmon made it clear when he said he wanted to
change the rules, change change. the rules that the storks want to, want to maintain. but we can’t do that now, can we? BANG BANG. (cos) this isn’t normal. (cos) this isn’t normal.
to which v and jin replied in the storks pov
ah, stop singing on about effort, effort ah, it makes me cringe (viscerally disgusted). ah, effort effort, ah, effort effort (whatever) ah, you don’t really stand a chance~
that had all of them yelled out
as expected of the storks!
at the last line, because of f course you higher class/older generation would say such things, do you even care..
fyi they use 싹수가 노랗다 in the song that literally means “your chances are yellow”, a common saying in korea to indicate that there is no hope at all because metaphorically speaking, there is a chance for a tree to grow tall if it stems from a green shoot but if you grow from a yellow shoot, there is almost no chance. its sort of a harsh thing to say to someone tbh
which is why when jimin and jungkooks’ part came i died because first of all, jimin and jungkookss voice, second of all jimin and junskooks voice, and third of all jimin and jungkooks voice they’re actually teasing the storks like
as expected of storks, they don’t disappoint as expected of storks, they earn their name as expected of storks, they eat/take it all as expected of storks, of the storks~~~~
and that part where jungkook’s voice goes off
saying that it’s my fault, you’re joking, right? saying that it’s fair, oh are you crazy saying that this is justice you must be kiddin’ me you must be kiddin’ me you you must be kiddin’ me
he is basically saying that it is outrightly insane for the society to blame them for their supposedly failures when they didn’t have a chance in the first place!
which is why the ending chorus gets me every time because instead of putting down the storks, they end up humbly BUT resonantly stating that, okay,
we are crow tits, we don’t disappoint we are crow tits, we’ve earned our name we are crow tits, let’s live together we are crow tits, crow tits
like, despite everything though, isn’t it best to just live equally and get along well together?
i guess what bangtan is trying to say is that even if they were born without gold spoon and chopsticks, they will still work hard to overcome societal boundaries, like, despite coming from a relatively small company, despite being aware of the rigid social expectations of being an idol as well as having to face media favoritism on big companies, knowing they will get hurt a lot, they will still try hard to achieve success, and ‘chase’ away the storks in the entertainment industry.
also i think its important to know that while crow tits are active, noisy, and social birds, they are also highly adaptable, and are amongst the most intelligent of all birds after parrots and the corvids (crows and jays) <33
on a rather irrelevant note,
how can they be dorkS
and gorgeous at the same time??
I MEAN

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why is he like this?? ;-;
when i'm wearing something that i bought on sale
person: nice shirt
me: thanks i bought it on sale
“I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can’t stop them. They leave me and I love them more.” Where the wild things are
Mochi in the streets, Sex God in the sheets ♡

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D.O - 160703 ViVi magazine, August 2016 issue - [SCAN][HQ]
Credit: Dyoce Latte.