lights all askew in the heavens

Do you wanna go watch the sunlight pierce the leaves of the forest with me?

@woodlanddyke

[city founded by a twin who committed fratricide] we should have two equally powerful heads of state i think

#what if we gave a german shepherd meth? (via @madtomedgar)

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

I like to think there's an Ankh-Morpork show (perhaps a live stage show) that's a combination of Great British Bakeoff and Forged in Fire where they bake dwarf bread and then attack a ballistic dummy with it.

survival mechanism they don’t emphasize enough is memorizing a poem. you memorize a poem you have a little lift raft for a variety of situations

so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.