NO END, NO BEGINNING.

“But what is grief? A noun we can’t hold / with our hands? A Hallelujah?”

I come from a world of apathetic thoughts, voices, and words. A world like a snake’s lair, a world of footsteps, of people who embrace you, all the while weaving in their thoughts ropes to hang you by.

“I wanted a metamorphosis, a change to fish, to leviathan, to destroyer. I wanted the earth to open up, to swallow everything in one engulfing yawn. I wanted to see the city buried fathoms deep in the bosom of the sea. I wanted to sit in a cave and read by candlelight. I wanted that eye extinguished so that I might have a chance to know my own body, my own desires. I wanted to be alone for a thousand years in order to reflect on what I had seen and heard ― and in order to forget. I wanted something of the earth which was not of man’s doing, something absolutely divorced from the human of which I was surfeited. I wanted something purely terrestrial and absolutely divested of idea. I wanted to feel the blood running back into my veins, even at the cost of annihilation.”