THINGS HAMILTON IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO DO
My proper military title is “Major General Hamilton” not “Princess Anastasia”.
Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.
Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.
Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.
Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Jefferson!”
May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.
Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.
Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.
Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
I am not authorized to fire officers.
The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”
May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Major General Hamilton
I may not call block my chain of command.
Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”.
Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are “casualties of war”.
Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and named Adams
I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
I cannot arrest children for being rude.
The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
I will no longer perform “lap-dances” while in uniform.
If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
No, the pants are not optional.
Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn”.
Shouldn’t take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
Shouldn’t use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command
discoholicmusic
ellievsbear
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
