99.9% Shipping Trash

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

Let’s see what you can do bagel

There is no amount of money, oil, or gold that is worth more than having bees, trees, and clean water.

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

one must imagine sisyphus in margaritaville

I love it so much when people tag reblogs with character names, either because the post reminded them of a character, or the post is something that they think the character would say. I really love it when people get super into characters they like, it's wholesome and fun and awesome

if people know a showrunner by name then u just know they were committing war crimes throughout their shows

"Write character relationships that are normal" WRONG ☝ CODEPENDENCY BEAM 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

I often complain about my life but one thing I am grateful for is that I've almost never been shot at with a cannon. That happened all the time in the old days and it seems like it sucked a lot

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

I hope it’s been pier reviewed