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Iâm sitting on the toilet.

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BELUGA BABE
Donât forget their abs
Magical creatures
saw both of these today in different stores and i thought theyâd make you guys laugh
Oh dear god
Some stores that don't get enough sticky finger love
Maybe Iâm just not following the right blogs, but I never see these stores in posts!
1. Office Depot: you canât buy a 4.0, but you can buy the most wonderful school supplies ever! Specifically this store, though, because a) there are only cameras in the desk/chair/computer sections, b) few customers and SAs, c) the high walls are good shelter, d )no LP? Itâs like 2 cashiers and some tech people who donât care.Â
2. Nordstrom: donât let the big name scare you! BP. is my favorite brand to shop from there because a) too cute! b) dressing rooms are monitored but they donât count your items, c) nothing is tagged d) I believe they only prosecute if you get greedy and take a LOT.
3. Old Navy: seriously, one of the easiest places! I recommend it for beginners or seasoned shoplifters that want something simple. They definitely donât always have the most trendy pieces, but theyâre bomb for basics (jeans, plaid/flannel, t-shirts) and athletic wear, and a) only some things are tagged b) dressing rooms arenât monitored c) they donât really care if you beep on the way out d) shoes are the easiest fucking thing here! Take em into the dressing room (detag if necessary) and slip them in your bag or literally just wear them out e) no annoying SAs.
4. Gap: again, itâs fancy but donât freak out! I like them because they have really nice basics and athletic wear and a) fitting rooms arenât monitored b) only some things are tagged c) one time, I walked out of there with something tagged (literally not even trying to shoplift, I totally just forgot a had it), the alarm went off, the cashier smiled/winked/waved at me??
5. Starbucks: an untapped gold mine! a) baristas are waaaay too busy to care/told not to worry, b) nothingâs tagged c) hella helped me work on my concealing skills. I might make a whole post about this later.Â
BE SAFE!
oh my god i made this on my old account. thank you for all the notes :â)
Gona hit Ĺld nĂŚvy for jeans (the best jeans imo) âŚtrying Nordstrom sounds fun because ik they keep a Brandy Melville section in BP ;)
Iâm such a slut for thunderstorms

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Univer$al studi0s haul đ Crewneck. 65$ Wands. 50$ each Keychain. 12$ Total. 227
1. WHY ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS?
2. HOW THE FUCK?
YOOOOOOOOOOOO
saw this on twitter and thought i would share lmao im dead at this đ
My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that it canonically takes place in a train post-apocalypse where the Island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dystopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or cannibalized for repair
If you think Iâm kidding you need to read the original books
could you please direct me to a source? i would feel much better if this was validated.
It took me so long to find this quote online but I did it because itâs so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine:
ââŚEngines on the Other Railway arenât safe now. Their controllers are cruel. They donât like engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then,â Percy nearly sobbed, âtheyâŚthey c-c-cut them up.â -âThe Bluebells of England.â  Stepney the Bluebell Engine.  Rev. Awdry, Wilbert.  London: Egmont Publishing, 1963.
This illustration, by Gunvor and Peter Edwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Other Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch.
HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCKING FACE OMG
the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and illustrations. if you watched the show, itâs like that in book form. the second half of the railway series are so fucking dark and surreal iâm convinced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lsd and having hallucinations of his own death.
Excuse me but the very first story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a tunnel and refuses to run because he doesnât want to get his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel.
They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever.
On the show, didnât they also hook up one engine to a generator, so heâd never move again? That was literally one of the lines, I think. Itâs on some other post on here. It was chilling.
Yes! Â This also happened in the books, to an engine referred to only as âNo. 2âł, but the television series applied the same scenario to an invented character named âSmudgerâ, in the episode âGranpuffâ.
âSmudger,â said Duke. âWas a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice.â âListen, Dukieâ he snared. âWho worries about a few spills?â âWe do here! I said, but Smudger just laughed.â âHahaha!â âUntil one day, Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then!â âW-w-why? What did he do?!â âHe turned him into a generator. Heâs still there behind our shed. Heâll never move again.â
This is so fucked up
No, listen.
Okay, so we see Railway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly itâs so much worse in the Other Railways? I mean, sure, you might get turned into a generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as youâre told, but at least youâre not cut up and sold for parts, right? Itâs not so bad on the island of Sodor, right?
Or maybe thatâs just what Railway Management wants the engines to think.
Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, illustrated in hellish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.
You are lucky to be an engine of Sodor.
Railway Management cares about you.
Trust Railway Management.
Stay on Your Track.
It Could Be So Much Worse.
Wtf the fuck is this train based 1984 bullshit
reblogging to show my bro in like 10 years lmao
These people went from lifting chips to pulling off some action movie shit
When youâre lifting but you also gotta save a dudeâs life đ
BRUUUUUUHHHH also hello again liftblr :3

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can some1 explain the rubber band method to me iâm still kinda new here
u shoot the rubber band at all SA, rob the store and run out thereÂ
Yo, did anyone actually explain this to you dear?
The answer is hilarious af though. But if you need help then my ask is open. And browse the community and thereâs a video on this too
Lifting outfit formulas
1. Rich spoiled kid: (for the high end mall/store ) Crop top + nice pleated skirt + plaid shirt/denim shirt (leave open and flowy) + not shitty looking shoes
2. The Professional: (perfect for sleight of hand) Collared shirt+ blazer + black jeans/ dress pants + nice black boots or flats/pumps. In the summer swap out pants for a pencil skirt or dress.
3. Stylish but still pretty comfy: Denim/plaid shirt (tucked in) + high waisted shorts/ skirt + converse/vans/Nike or Adidas shiz
4. Winter Nice coat + nice shirt (blouse or collared are great)+ thin scarf + skinny jeans + heeled boots (or equivalent)
5. The beginner (if you havenât lifted any of these to start đ) Plain t-shirt + skinny jeans/high waisted shorts + sneakers or converse work, always. Simple and plain to blend in and not too shabby
6. The I just increased my chances of getting caught everywhere except Hot topic and Spencerâs. (Meant as a joke, pls donât be offended.)
Bright unnatural hair + raccoon eyes + studded all-black clothing + grouchy facial expression + sketchy attitude + 4 inch stiletto boots đđđ
Watch my 6'4" barrel chested bow legged gay ass strut into a high end mall in a crop top and pleated skirt
Reblogged for last comment đđ
In todayâs episode of White privilege
2011? Hell, try 1988.
Itâs your life. If you are unhappy, please make a change.
executive dysfunction
lsfm,gjksfjglg me af

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10 top ways shoplifters get caught
This was written by an LP, i merely copied and pasted it. REBLOG AND INFORM
Despite what you may have heard, there is no perfect shoplifting method. You can be caught NO MATTER how you try to steal. A lot of it is the luck of the draw. Is LP in the store? Are they busy with another shoplifter? Are they watching you? There is no way you can be sure. You can be sure however, that you significantly increase your chances of getting yourself caught when:
10)You carry a flat purse or back-pack: Fairly obvious, right? Not only is this an attention grabber, but it also makes the LP Agentâs job much easier. Your bag was flat, and then magically became full right after all the merchandise you were carrying disappeared. Did the LP Agent watch you fill your bag? That does not really matter. The LP Agent did not need to see concealment (See my article: The 6 Steps of Loss Prevention) to confidently make a stop on you. It is fairly obvious. Most LP Agents will make that stop. On top of being obvious, entering a store with an empty bag can also bump your charge from petty theft to burglary.
9)You over-act: You pick up the item you plan on stealing. You begin tapping on it, wiggling it, playing with it, and looking around like everything is cool. Yes, people actually think this works. When you take this approach you are basically telling LP Agents âHey, I am not going to steal this! Look, Iâm playing with it out in the open. I wouldnât be doing that if I were going to steal it.â Then you steal it. Happens all the time.
8)You under-act: You pick up the item you are going to steal and immediately palm the item, or hold it behind something. You then quickly walk off to the most deserted part of the store. The race is on. The LP Agent knows he needs to get a view of you, either on camera or on the floor to witness the concealment.
7)You are overly friendly: You come in and immediately start chatting with store employees. Youâre such a nice person! You would never steal. This will work when trying to deceive regular workers but LP is not falling for it. I have even had employees try to stop me from making an apprehension because they thought I was going to make a bad stop on that âniceâ person. When I see someone being overly friendly with cashiers, managers or anybody with a name tag, I immediately become suspicious. They could be a genuinely nice person but nice people steal too.
6)You fail the âscare testâ: When I suspect somebody is a shoplifter I will often give them the scare test. This means I will have several people walk past the area where my suspect is looking at items. A normal shopper will pay little to no attention to who is around them. A nervous shoplifter will turn their head at everyone that passes by. Often times they will look them up and down evaluating whether or not they seem like an undercover. When this happens it is a good indicator that I should set up on this person and wait for them to âgoâ.
5)You are bringing non-clothing items into the fitting room: Some people actually think that if they conceal merchandise in the fitting room that they can not be arrested by Loss Prevention Agents. This is because it eliminates the possibility of the LP Agentâs step # 3. This might work on some LP Agents, but certainly not the oneâs that are good at what they do. If I see someone bringing something into the fitting room that is not supposed to be tried on such as DVDs, Jewelry, makeup, etc., they have my full attention until I see them exit the fitting room carrying that merchandise. Believe me, bringing stuff into the fitting room is a false sense of security and it will get you caught.
4)You are leaving an evidence trail: You select the item you want to steal. You are not sure if the item will make the door beep or not so you decide to remove the item from the package. Or maybe you want to pretend the item was already yourâs so you rip the tags off. Now you can conceal the item. However, you also need to rid yourself of the package. So you discard it on the shelf, or you hide it behind something. You just made the LP Agents job 95% easier. Maybe they did not see you conceal the item, but they did see you toss something down or hide something. They find the package. Now LP knows what the item is, they know you removed it from the package (this is vandalism and is illegal), and they know you are up to no good. When you walk out of the store, all the LP Agent needs to do is approach you with the empty package and demand that you return the item. They will likely tell you that you are on video opening it (you may or may not be). They will tell you that if you do not return the item you will be charged with vandalism (this trick is likely against their LP policy but it is completely legal). Once you produce the item you are under arrest for theft. It is a lose-lose situation that you created by leaving a trail of packages and tags.
3)You have âshiftyâ eyes: Everyone knows that you are not supposed to blatantly look for cameras or look around for people when you are going to steal. However, it seems that the majority overcompensates. When you look up to the ceiling and then side to side without moving your head, you have âshifty eyesâ. Shifty eyes get shoplifters caught every day. In fact, if I am about to give up on a perspective shoplifter and they shift their eyes, I will watch them until they leave the store, no exceptions.
2)You use two hands: As an LP Agent, nothing catches my eye more than somebody with both hands on the sales shelf. When an honest shopper looks at a product of interest on the sales shelf, they typically take the item in one hand and remove it from the shelf to look at it in the open. When a shoplifter puts both hands on a product and does not remove the object from the shelf it is a DEAD GIVE AWAY that they are opening something. I have caught shoplifters that I otherwise would not have even noticed simply because they used two hands!
1)You just plain look like a shoplifter: You know who you are! This is by far the most common reason people get caught. If you fit the stereotypical profile of someone who would likely shoplift you are likely being watched as an âeasy statâ. So if you have 10 facial piercings, and a bright green mohawk, or if youâre just a shady looking character, donât do it.
REBLOG AND HELP A FRIEND
Outfit that will work for literally any store:
Listen up, folks. Keeping in mind that your goal is to blend in while still looking like you have money⌠You can do one outfit. For literally any store. Even super high end or as low end as Wal-Mart.
Your nicest well fitting plain blue skinny jeans Those brown riding boots that everyone seems to have Fitted black t-shirt. A nice, preferably expensive looking, watch.
The reason this oh so basic outfit works is because itâs chic and casual. Itâs the basic âI just threw on some clothes that look nice but Iâm not trying super hard todayâ look. And thatâs what you want. Go overkill, youâll be noticed and remembered. But how many fucking shoppers do you see daily wearing this exact outfit? 90% of the fuckers do it. Itâs because itâs a standard default look for a lot of women. And it works. It works REALLY WELL