Unrelated to lifting but i dont use any other blogs and i just need to vent
One of my really good friends that ive known for over 10 years killed herself last monday night.
At first, I took it really well, for some reason I accepted it and shut off all my emotions, i am normally a very emotional/sensitive person so this is weird.
As the day went on, I couldnt stop thinking about it, and the more real it got.
I truly dont believe this was supossed to happen, I know it was an accident.
Ive been having extremely lucid, surreal and kinda fucked up dreams every night involving my friend.
I 100% believe in life having paranormal, spiritual, intuitive, weird moments and i think this is my first really experiencing something like that.
In the end its all really sad, and im really it had to happen like this, its going to take a long time time for me to even believe its real
I keep telling myself shes dead, shes gone, shes actually fucking dead man but it doesnt feel right. Ive experienced having loved ones die before, but they’ve all been family members.
I love my family but a friend is different, with a relative, youre destined to have a relationship with whether you choose to or not, there is no avoiding it. A friend is someone you pick and decide to build a relationship with, and I think thats why it hurts a lot more when something tragic happens, at least for me this is the case.
Anyways it kinda felt good to write about this a bit, i apologize for my banter, life is always gonna be full of suprises apparently