Trans struggles

you dont have to bind, or tuck, or wear breast forms, or body shapers, or wear a packer, if its uncomfortable, or it hurts, or you dont want to

you dont have to dress masculine, or feminine, or neutral, or wear makeup, or not wear makeup, or cut your hair, or grow it out, or style it

you can dress how you like, talk how you like, act how you like

On life after the urethral lengthening, because this is something I wasn’t told much about on beforehand. Yes, you’re told of all the possible complications and you accept it when they happen because you knew what you were getting into, but they don’t tell you what a realistic standard is to expect once it’s all over.

I just came back from a check-up visit with my urologist following a corrective surgery to the urethra. By now I can pee standing up like normal, but with a (usually painful) pressure underneath the ballsack and a post-void dribbling problem. Hoping my urologist would tell me what our next step would be to solve these issues I was a bit surprised and let down to hear that, basically, this is it. He said these are common issues in trans men and given that the urethra functions well, I’m just going to have to make my peace with these two things.

He did say that the painful feeling will probably diminish given enough time (but may not disappear entirely) and pressing your finger into that spot helps relieve the pressure as well, and he gave me tips on how to diminish the dribbling problem (by stroking a finger over that part of the urethra, up to the ballsack, which will push out the pee left behind there better). These things help, but for the most part it’ll be a matter of getting used to things being this way.

It’s important to put these things into perspective. I spent half a year with a damn catheter in and so even with these issues, I’m immensely happy. I can pee standing up and it comes out of a male body part. That is everything I wanted and it’s worth a minor sacrifice like this.

But it’s equally important to know that it may require such sacrifices before getting into it.

TRANS MEN ARE MEN

In my headcanon, he started taking puberty blockers at the age 13. That would have to explain for his voice and flat chest. Let’s face it; It’s not healthy to go web swinging around NYC, and punch goonies, while wearing a binder. 

Me, and the other gays who are gay 12 months per year:

I don’t care of the transmasc kid at your school has “only ever expressed dysphoria over their hair and voice” that’s not a reason to misgender him.

I don’t care if he dosent bind, he “dosent even try to pass”, has access to binders but doesn’t want to, dresses feminine, I don’t give a single shit if he literally wears dresses that show off his tits/curves every day, if you know he goes by he/him and identifies as a boy then

Fucking call him a boy.

You know why?

Even though you may think he dosent experience dysphoria because he dresses that way or “dosent try” DOES NOT mean that he dosent

Let’s get into some phycology.

There are three types of dysphoria, gender/sex dysphoria: a disconnect from agab, body dysphoria: disconnect from the sex characteristics associated with your agab, and social dysphoria: disconnect from the social role of your agab/dysphoria caused by being considered your agab.

Examples

Gender dysphoria: “I see myself as a man in the future but I’m afab and that makes me feel disconnected from the present”

Body dysphoria: “when I look in the mirror I see a boy but I’m supposed to be a girl. When I look in the mirror and see myself it feels like I’ll never pass as a woman.”

Social dysphoria: “the thought of someone seeing me as (agab) or calling me he/she rather than they makes me feel wrong. I don’t feel like my agab isnt right I just wish people would see me as neutral.”

Or

He could not experience any dysphoria/not recognise his dysphoria and you still shouldn’t misgender him because you don’t know him, you don’t know his mind like he does and if he feels more comfy with a masc or neutral name and masc pronouns then you should fucking respect him.

If you don’t have any intention to listen and keep an open mind please don’t interact, I’m deleting all comments from people that just want to yell at me.