Story Of My Life

I hate feeling like I’m not good enough for you anymore. I hate feeling that you don’t feel the same and that I’m just around until something better comes along or till you just can’t keep pretending. I don’t know what else to say to you. I feel sick to my stomach at this point and nobody understands it because I don’t tell anybody about it. I’m at work everyday with a smile on my face but when nobody’s around there I could cry for hours. It scares me that I don’t know what I should do anymore. I don’t want to regret anything. 😔

I don't want you to ever regret having feelings for someone. I want you to be able to feel like you can tell me anything. I don't want to be that girl that isn't ok with you doing what you want to do. I'm not that girl, I've never been that girl, and I'll never be that girl. Do I have feelings? Yes. Does it hurt me? Yes. Do you understand? Maybe not. You should never feel bad, upset or regret the way that you feel. I would never ask you to do that. I understand. I get it. It happens. I can't control your feelings, although sometimes I wish I could. I hate the feeling of wondering if I took you away from someone who could have made you happier. That will always be in my head now. I'm sure you tell me no because you know that's what I want to hear but that's not true. I want to know the truth. I want to know how you really felt. As much as it may hurt to know, I'll feel better knowing the truth. I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes and moody and I understand how it can be frustrating because it frustrates me. I'll get over it, yes, but it'll always sit in my head.

I'm just getting so annoyed with everything lately. I feel like I'm just not a priority in your life anymore. Just because we've been together for so long doesn't mean I need to be pushed away. That's how relationships end.