I am lost in paradise

I hate this feeling, I know I am slowly slipping back into my depression. I have done so well, it’s been a couple years since I have felt this bad. I think it’s adulting that is really starting to settle in.

When I moved out, I had to move quick to find a job and a place. It’s been almost 3 years now and I've been working a 7-2 Monday through Friday since. For the first time since I started, I have some paid time off to use, so I can be at home and work on my business, which has been excellent. However, I have had time to think and all of those thoughts I kept pushing to the back are coming forward. 

I am so fucking down right now. I’m at that point where my mind is asking me, whats next? And I don’t know. I’m only 22 so I have plenty of time and growing to do, but I hate feeling like this. I feel like I am a burden to my girlfriend. 

Lately I have also been missing my friends, who have either moved out of state, gotten busy like me, or just disappeared. It happens, it’s life and I am happy for them. But that doesn’t make it any easier. I have tried making friends but i’m so anti social and anxious it’s hard to really connect with people. This is nothing new to me, I guess it’s just a littler harder to handle this time around.