just say you feel the way that i feel

“What do you want for Valentine’s Day?” you ask Tom, craning your head to look at him.

He shrugs. “Just you. Maybe we could have sex if you’re up for it.”

You roll your eyes. “That would just be like any other day. Hey Harrison, what do you want for Valentine’s Day?” you add, not expecting an answer since he’s been asleep as far as you could tell.

“Mmm. Wanna watch you two have sex,” comes his sleepy reply.

You turn around in Tom’s lap to stare at him. Tom seems unphased by his best friend’s answer.

“Oh my god. You guys have talked about this before,” you say, looking between the two of them.

“So have you and I,” Tom insists.

“Since when? I seriously do not remember having this conversation with you.”

“Back during that first Skype call where things got sexual. Before we were even dating,” he explains.

You think back to that night.

“You didn’t specifically mention Harrison,” you protest as you recall the memory.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else I’d be comfortable with watching us and know they’d stay quiet about it other than Harrison,” he explains. “Him and I haven’t exactly been subtle in hinting that we’ve had some experiences together.”

“I just thought…” You shake your head. “I didn’t want to ask in case I was wrong and you got upset. And I never wanted to suggest that Harrison join us in case he was off limits.”

“Why would he be off limits?”

“He’s gorgeous!” you exclaim. “I didn’t want you to think that I liked Harrison the way I liked you before I started loving you.”

“I’m gorgeous?” Harrison asks with a grin.

You roll your eyes. “Don’t be cocky.”

“Love,” says Tom, squeezing your hips gently. “I’m secure with the knowledge that you love me and not anybody else. I don’t love Harrison either -- at least not like I love you. But it is true that before you, back several years, Harrison and I would fool around. I’m comfortable around him and I would trust him with my life. Hell, I’d trust him with your life. If someone were going to join us in the bedroom I would want it to be him. You can absolutely say no though.”

Harrison nods. “Please don’t feel like you have to say yes.”

You blink between the both of them. Your response requires no thought at all.

“I want it.”

Tom and Harrison look at each other.

“Where do we start?” Tom asks, positioning his hands at the bottom of your shirt.

“Nuh uh,” you say, getting out of Tom’s lap. “It isn’t Valentine’s Day. And I have class tomorrow morning and I know I’m going to want to have a day off after this happens.”

“What about this Friday?” Harrison suggests. “That’s a week sooner than Valentine’s Day.”

You shake your head. “Nah. I’m going to make you boys wait for it.” You sling your bag over your shoulder and lean down to kiss Tom’s forehead. After a moment of hesitation, you do the same to Harrison.

“I’ll talk to you later,” you call over your shoulder, heading for Tom’s door. “Goodnight guys!”

The door closes behind you and Tom and Harrison look at each other in awe.

In the week between that night and Valentine’s Day, you went shopping for a cute new outfit and some new underwear. A fan had recognized you while you were out and asked for a picture with you. A lot of articles mentioning you as Tom Holland’s girlfriend had come out the previous year after the releases of Tom’s big movies but the attention you got from it still caught you off guard. You snapped a photo with her and had a nice conversation before leaving the store with a bag full of items that made you feel confident and sexy.

On the actual holiday you make Tom and Harrison wait in another room while you take your time getting ready. It doesn’t take you a ridiculously long time to make sure everything meets your approval but you can tell the boys are impatient so you sit on the edge of the bed and make them wait an additional ten minutes before you finally send a text to the groupchat you share with them to let them know they can come in. The door swings open immediately to reveal the two standing in the doorway.

Harrison nudges Tom with his elbow. “Holy shit.”

Tom licks his lips. “Come here, sweetheart,” he says and you quickly cross the room so you’re standing in front of him. He settles his hands on your waist and pulls you in for a deep kiss. When he pulls away one of his hands moves to the back of your neck while the other goes to the back of Harrison’s.

Of course multiple conversations had occurred since the night in Tom’s living room about what everyone was and was not comfortable with. You knew it was going to happen but that doesn’t stop you from shivering a little as Tom gently pushes your heads together for a kiss.

It takes you a moment to adjust but soon your arms are around Harrison’s neck and his hands are all over your body. He guides you to the bed without taking his lips off of yours and a few seconds later you feel the bed shift as Tom sits beside you. The sound of him unzipping his pants has you pulling away from Harrison to look over at him.

“I think he likes watching,” Harrison says, kissing your neck. “Such a voyeur.”

“Your exhibitionist ass is one to talk,” Tom counters, shoving Harrison off of you so he can take his place.

“Rude,” grumbles Harrison, sitting back to watch you and Tom kiss.

“What do you think of Haz’s kissing?” Tom asks, pulling away after a minute.

“It’s good,” you answer. “Very good.”

“I wonder if he’s improved since the last time I kissed him.”

Harrison laughs. “God, I’d hope so. How old were we? Fifteen?”

“Kiss each other,” you say without even thinking about it.

Tom and Harrison share a look. The latter gives a little nod of his head and then Tom is leaning towards him, pressing their lips together.

The sight nearly takes your breath away and you watch them. You don’t even notice that your hand has snuck its way into your underwear until the wet sounds your fingers make startle both you and the boys, who break apart to look at you.

“Wanna touch her?” Tom asks Harrison.

He nods.

“Ask her nicely,” your boyfriend recommends, nudging his side.

Harrison blinks at you. “Can I touch you? Please?”

“Yes,” you say breathlessly, lifting your hips up off of the bed as he removes your underwear. A finger slides through your wetness instantly but is quickly pulled away so Harrison can look more closely.

“Wow,” he whispers, and Tom grabs Harrison’s wrist to bring his finger to Tom’s own mouth and suck the taste of you off of it.

You squirm against the bed. “Touch me. One of you. Both of you. Please. Just give me something.”

“You fuck her while she sucks me off?” Harrison suggests.

“Is that good for you, sweetheart?” Tom asks you. “Because you already know it’s good for me.”

You can’t hide the eagerness from your voice as you give your approval. As the boys finish taking off their clothes, you figure out how you want to position yourself. You decide to lay on the bed with your head hanging just a little off of the edge so Harrison can have access to your mouth when he’s standing.

“Fuck, your girl’s pretty,” Harrison says to Tom, admiring you.

“Isn’t she?” Tom agrees, joining you on the bed and situating himself in between your thighs. “You good, babe?” he asks you.

“Yeah. I’m ready,” you reply, relaxing as he slides his cock into you. Even though you’ve done this many times before, it feels different knowing that Harrison is watching you. You turn your head slightly to see that he’s just staring at the two of you and you clear your throat.

“Gonna let me suck you off?” you ask with a teasing smile that finally snaps Harrison out of the daze he was in. In an instant he’s moved to the edge of the bed where your head is. You open your mouth obediently for him and he slowly gives you a little bit of his cock at a time until you’ve taken him completely.

Harrison’s length in your mouth stifles your noises of pleasure but both his and Tom’s moans are unashamedly loud. The sensation of being fucked by your boyfriend while his best friend also participates is even better than you imagined it would be.

“You’re so lucky,” you can hear Harrison say above the sounds of him using your mouth.

“Right? She’s so good,” Tom hums, and for whatever reason hearing the two of them talk about you like you’re not even there turns you on even more.

You come hard when Tom starts paying attention to your clit which sets off both him and Harrison, who come one after the other. Before you can even move at all, the boys pull out of you simultaneously and switch sides, with Harrison’s head now inches from where Tom’s cum is dripping out of you and Tom kneeling so his face is level with yours. Tom kisses you and it’s a little awkward because your head is still slightly off the side of the mattress, making the kiss kind of upside down but not entirely. Harrison’s tongue licking up the length of your slit makes you moan against Tom’s lips, who eagerly starts seeking out Harrison’s cum with his tongue.

By the time Tom pulls away there’s barely anything left for you to swallow. You’re staring speechlessly at him as he gets to his feet and grins down at you. At the opposite end of your body, Harrison finishes lapping up Tom’s cum and kisses each of your thighs before standing up as well.

You shakily push yourself up into a sitting position and look between your boyfriend and his best friend with wide eyes and parted lips.

“Do you think she liked it?” Harrison asks Tom, retrieving his clothes.

“Oh yeah. Sometimes she gets a little inarticulate after a really good orgasm. Give her a minute.”

“Goddamn,” you say after another half minute of silence. You fall back against the pillows and rub your eyes as if waking up from a dream, but you know you’ve been awake the whole time. “Holy fuck.”

Tom, now in his boxers, lays by your side and smiles at you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says.

You say the same to him and give him a sweet kiss.

Harrison is busying himself by buttoning his shirt when you break from the kiss.

“Not staying the night?” you ask, frowning.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, Haz. It’s dark out and freezing,” Tom argues.

He sighs. “Alright. Your couch is pretty nice. Probably not as good as Sebastian Stan’s based on the way Anthony Mackie raves about it, but it’ll do for tonight.”

“No! No couch. You can sleep in the bed with us. Here, I can sleep in the middle if that will make it less weird,” you offer. “But you’ve totally slept in the same bed together way before you met me, I’m sure, so we can arrange ourselves however.”

Harrison smiles at you. “You in the middle is fine.”

You each take turns washing up and brushing your teeth in the bathroom. When all that is done, you find yourself snuggled in between Tom and Harrison. Fortunately the bed is more than big enough for all three of you (plus Tessa).

“Goodnight guys,” you say, kissing Tom’s cheek and craning your neck to kiss Harrison’s.

She looks nervous, not quite making eye contact with you as you continue to stare.

“No,” you say, crossing your arms defensively over your chest. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I don’t understand,” she pleads with you. “Your relationship didn’t end. I didn’t cause you and Tom to break up.”

“That doesn’t mean you didn’t do anything wrong! You humiliated me online where millions of people could see. You forced me and Tom to do something that we weren’t really ready to do. You destroyed our friendship!”

Tears well up in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Why’d you do it, huh? Why the fuck would you do something like that to me?”

“Can I come inside? Please?”

“Let her in, babe,” Tom says, coming up behind you. “It’s cold outside.”

You want to protest but Tom wraps his arms around you and guides you out of the way so she can come in. You reconvene in the living room, Tom’s hand clutched between both of yours and your jaw tense.

“How about you start by explaining your side of the story?” Tom suggests to your unexpected visitor.

She nods. “Okay. Well, um, it all starts with Andrew, my boyfriend at the time…”

“Don’t blame this on him!” you snap.

“Please,” Tom says to you. He really wants to hear her reasoning which makes no sense to you as this girl could have done some serious damage to his career but you sigh reluctantly and press your lips together tightly.

“He...somehow convinced me that publishing that article would jumpstart my journalism career. We had access to the pictures that you hung up on your walls and, well, I obviously knew the whole story of how you two met and got together. It’s inexcusable, I know, and I’m not expecting forgiveness, but I’ve been seriously fucked up ever since it happened. I immediately regretted it but it was too late to go back and change it. He broke up with me shortly after and I avoid him at all costs but it’s pretty difficult because we’ve had a class together this past semester.” She takes a break to sigh and rub her hands over her face. “I can’t believe I let a guy manipulate me into hurting a person I really cared -- care -- about.”

Tears start to fall from her eyes and Tom quickly gets up to retrieve a box of tissues.

“I don’t understand,” you say. “Why does Andrew hate me? Why would he want to potentially ruin my relationship for the advancement of your career? Could he not think of any other way?”

“He wanted to break you two up,” she explains, lips trembling. “He wanted to be with you instead. He didn’t love me like I thought he did.”

Tom returns with the tissues while you lean forward and tentatively place your hand on one of her knees.

“Shit,” you say. “That sucks. I know you were really into him.”

She nods amidst her sobs and you and Tom stay silent while she cries it out. You think the whole situation over and eventually you grow mad, nearly as mad as you were when the article had originally been posted. This asshole manipulated and lied to one of your friends in an attempt to get you and Tom to break up.

“Fuck him!” you exclaim, standing up. “We can’t let him have zero consequences from this. Is he home for break? Where the hell does he even live?”

“Nowhere near here.”

You turn to look at Tom.

“Sweetheart. Baby. Love of my life. Do I have permission to flirt with this asshole so he’ll come meet me somewhere and we can all give him what he deserves?”

He smiles at you. “Do whatever you need to do, love, but this is your battle, not mine. I was hurt way less by this than both of you were and besides...I’m not sure he’d make it out alive if I was involved and ‘Tom Holland Arrested for Murder’ is not a headline anyone wants to see.”

You lean down to kiss the top of his head. Then you take out your phone, unblock Andrew’s number, and look over at your ex-roommate.

“Are you okay with this?”

She nods. “Let’s get our revenge.”

And that’s how you find yourself pacing anxiously around a room in the nicest hotel near where you live. Your phone is on the bed, already open to your text conversation with Andrew, who you told to send you a message once he had arrived.

“I can’t believe this idiot is traveling for hours just to ‘hook up’ with me,” you say to break the silence in the room, wanting a conversation to distract yourself from your nerves. “Like, come on. I’m not worth all that effort.”

You ex-roommate offers you a small smile from her seat on the bed.

“I think Tom would disagree,” she says. “He’s crazy about you.”

You smile, thinking about your sweet boyfriend who so obviously would travel across the entire planet in order to just give you a simple hug.

“I really thought Andrew was my Tom Holland,” she says with a sigh. “I was so stupid.”

You sit next to her on the bed and put your hand on her shoulder.

“You weren’t stupid. He’s the stupid one for giving up such a great person.”

She frowns. “But I’m not great. I betrayed you. I got what I deserved, didn’t I?”

“You really fucking hurt my feelings,” you explain. “And I definitely felt betrayed. But he manipulated you and left you with nothing and nobody deserves that.”

She leans her head against your shoulder and you stay like that until the buzz of your phone interrupts you.

“He’s on his way up.” You both stand and she looks at you.

“Good luck.”

You smooth your hands down the front of your outfit as she slides underneath the bed. When you hear the knock you stand up straighter, pull your shoulders back, and walk to the door confidently, trying to seem as sexy as possible even though he can’t even see you yet. You pull the door open, grab him by the front of the shirt, and yank him inside. He makes a noise of surprise as you shut the door quickly and push him against it, quickly pressing your lips to his.

Tom is the only person you have kissed in well over a year and you wonder if all your kisses before him were this unpleasant. Andrew’s lips are drier and his body doesn’t feel as perfect as Tom’s does against you. You figure kissing his neck won’t be much different from kissing Tom’s so you move your lips there.

“It’s so hot how badly you want me,” he says and you wish you hadn’t abandoned his lips because he wouldn’t be able to talk if you were still kissing him there.

“Want you so fucking badly,” you moan as convincingly as you can. He believes it and starts to unbutton his shirt but you place your hands at the collar and pull in opposite directions quickly, sending the buttons flying. The torn fabric falls at your feet.

“Love when a girl takes charge.” He licks his lips and you hook a finger into one of his belt loops and pull him to the bed. You straddle him and meet his lips for another kiss, his hands resting on the backs of your thighs. Reaching your left hand off the bed and to the floor, your ex-roommate’s hand pokes out from underneath and offers you a pair of handcuffs. You snatch them and wrestle Andrew’s arms up and over his head. You clasp one wrist to the headboard and then the other surprisingly quickly; fast enough that Andrew doesn’t realize what has happened until he’s already secured.

His eyes widen and you smirk, getting off of him while your ex-roommate rolls out from underneath the bed and jumps to her feet. She whips out her phone and starts snapping photos of him, shirtless and vulnerable.

“You have way more Instagram followers than I do.” She shoots you a mischievous grin. “More people will definitely see the photo if you post it.”

“You’re right. Text it to me.”

“Please don’t do this,” Andrew pleads, tugging helplessly at the restraints. “I’m sorry.”

You ignore him as you open up the picture that she sent you.

“What Instagram filter would look best with this?” you ask. “I’m thinking Gingham.”

“Ooh, Gingham would look nice,” she agrees. “And make sure to put one of those tilt shift things over his pants to really highlight how pathetically hard he is.”

You both laugh.

“I’m sorry!” he says louder, his expression growing more panicked. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t post the picture. Please let me go.”

“You tried to break me and my boyfriend up. You could have ruined his career and you humiliated me by posting a rather intimate picture for the entire internet to see,” you say, staring directly at him. “But most importantly, you used my best friend and turned us against each other. And that’s why sorry isn’t fucking enough.”

“Yeah, asshole!” your old roommate chimes in and links her arm with yours. “I could handle losing you but I couldn’t handle losing her.”

“Because we’re way better than you, we’re not going to post the picture but you best bet it’s staying on both of our phones in case you attempt anything like what you did ever again,” you explain. “We’ll unlock you and you better get out of here fast and never even look at us if you see us on campus, okay?”

He nods. Your ex-roommate steps forward and unlocks the handcuffs. Andrew nearly throws himself out of the bed and stumbles on his way out the room without a shirt on.

You both fall on the bed, clutching your stomachs as you laugh at what you’ve done. Once it dies down you look over at her.

“I forgive you.”

“I would understand if you didn’t,” she says. “But I figured that if I really showed that I’m sorry -- which I am --  you would forgive me. Because you’re a great person like that. Tom’s very lucky and I can see why Andrew wanted you so badly.”

You nod. “It means a lot to me that you came all this way to say it to my face. Plus assisting me with this pretty outrageous plan earned you extra points.”

“It was really fun.”

You frown. “I’m sorry that he broke your heart though.”

She shrugs. “I meant what I said. It was a million times harder to lose you than it was to lose him.”

You stay in the room talking about what has been going on in each of your lives with her still at school and you studying in England. You definitely have the more interesting life but it still makes you happy to hear about the mundane things that are going on back at campus. When it gets dark outside you check out of the hotel room and you head back to your place. You embrace each other outside.

“Message me?” she asks hopefully.

“Definitely.”

You wave as she drives off and go inside. Tom’s sprawled out on your bed with his eyes closed but he immediately opens them and sits up while you open the door.

“How’d it go?” he asks.

“Perfectly,” you say. You still feel invincible from what you accomplished and after hanging your coat up you strip down to your bra and underwear.

“But your family is home,” he says, eyes appreciating the sight in front of him.

You shut the door and straddle his hips, taking his face in your hands.

“Then I guess you’ll have to be quiet, won’t you?”

“I finally have enough money in my bank account to pay for plane tickets home!”

“About that,” Tom says, guiding you to sit on the couch. “You’ve visited me a few times and, well, now you’re living nearby.” He pauses. “I...would really love to go back home with you and see all the places you always talk about.”

“But what about your family?” you ask. “The holidays are important. You should be with your parents and brothers.”

“I was thinking that maybe they could come along too,” he says. “But I understand if that would be too much. It’s all up to you.”

You smile at him. “That sounds absolutely crazy but so fun. I’m afraid I only have enough money for my ticket home though…”

He rolls his eyes at you. “I think I can cover the rest.”

Tom gives you a very suggestive look while you’re on the plane and you shoot back your best Tom if you are suggesting airplane sex while your entire family is with us you’re out of your goddamn mind look.

“Joking,” he laughs.

Tom’s rented a big van to hold all seven of you and your luggage. You drive from the airport to a hotel near your house because there’s no way your place is big enough to accommodate the Holland family. Your family joins his for a nice dinner at the hotel’s restaurant and you’re reminded of your first night in London from the Brothers Trust contest over a year ago.

How things have changed!

Dom, Nikki, Harry, Sam, and Paddy stay at the hotel after the dinner is done while you and Tom accompany your family back to your home. It’s just as you left it at the end of the summer and you give Tom a quick tour of your house.

“Oh my god,” he says once you’re in the kitchen. “Are those yours?”

“Oh no.” You quickly move in between Tom and the refrigerator that he’s looking at. “You don’t get to see.”

Tom pouts. “Please? They look really cute.”

You reluctantly step out of the way and look down at your feet as Tom examines old drawings that you made in art classes over a decade ago.

“This one is my favorite,” he says and you look up to see which one he’s pointing at. It’s a picture of a purple cat with long orange whiskers. “And is this a math test? No way.”

“It was my very first math grade of high school,” you explain. “It’s important.”

You watch as Tom looks carefully at each thing that’s stuck to your fridge. There’s more drawings, more test and homework assignments with good grades, and magnets of places your family has visited. He reaches up to touch the one of a double-decker red bus with the word London on it.

“I got that one at the airport the first time I went to visit you,” you tell him. “It’s one of my favorites.”

You finish showing him the rest of the house until the only room left is your own. Even though you’re an adult and your family knows that Tom is in your house, you can’t help but feel a little rebellious about letting a boy into your bedroom.

“Here it is,” you announce, turning on the light so it illuminates the space. You go to lay on your bed while Tom looks around.

“I like it,” he says after a minute. “It’s very you.”

“I was laying just like this when I got the notification that you uploaded a video to Instagram,” you tell him, smiling at the memory. “The first Far From Home contest video. And now you’re here with me. It’s crazy.”

You scoot over so he can lay down next to you.

“Are we going to have sex in your childhood bed?” he asks.

“Not now!” you laugh, tangling your legs together. “I don’t want to risk it while my family is nearby. Besides, I’m exhausted from traveling. Let’s go get ready for bed.”

You groan loudly when Tom tells you that he wants to go see your high school.

“Fuck that place,” you say. “I spent too much time there. I graduated and I haven’t gone back since.”

“Please?” he asks again. “We don’t have to go inside.”

“We can’t go inside. It’s December 28th -- the building is closed for winter vacation,” you explain. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stop by and just look at it.”

You drive to the school and park in the empty lot. The cloudy winter sky and lack of noise from students make the place seem even more gloomy than you remembered it.

“Not much to look at,” you say, both of you getting out of the car to get a better look. When he doesn’t reply you glance over at him to see that he’s gazing at you. “Tommy, if you wanted to admire my beauty you could have done that from the comfort of the house instead of making me drive here.”

He laughs. “I’m just trying to imagine you as a...what do you call it...a freshman. How old are you when you first enter high school anyway?”

“Thirteen if you’re particularly young, fifteen if you were kept back a year for some reason. Most people are fourteen.”

“Do you have any pictures from when you were that age?”

“It was not a good look. I like to pretend those pictures don’t exist.”

“But there are pictures, yeah? Guess I’ll have to go looking for them one night when you’re sleeping.”

“No,” you whine, bumping your shoulder into his.

“You’ve seen embarrassing pictures of me!” he argues. “They’re all over the internet!”

“Well you’re famous,” you point out.

“And?”

You sigh. “Fine. I guess I can show you some when we get home. Speaking of which, have you had your fill of the school yet? It’s chilly out here.”

You drive back home but the pictures are forgotten immediately when you realize your family isn’t around the house and has left a note behind saying they’ll be back later in the afternoon.

“You know what that means, yeah?” You ask Tom with a smile after he finishes reading the note.

His answer is a grin and two hands settling on your hips as he pulls you in for a deep kiss. You manage to make it to your bedroom and you quickly move to the bed, desperate for each other.

“Ah, fuck,” you gasp, gripping onto the sheets beneath you while Tom stretches you with two fingers. “Can’t believe you’re going to make me come in the exact same place where I gave myself my first orgasm.”

He smiles against your lips and adds a third finger.

Your legs are spread wide for him and he’s just about to push his cock into you when you hear a knock on the front door.

“Let’s ignore it,” you say as Tom freezes. A second passes and there’s more knocking but this time it’s louder. More urgent.

You sigh and quickly throw your clothes back on. You open the front door, hoping this interaction will be short so you can go back to your boyfriend.

“Hi,” your roommate says shyly. “I was hoping we could talk.”