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@lidcs
◤༝ ♡ ° › one notification from instagram: @lido just posted a photo featuring @lvncoln !
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avafk:
“ because people don’t make sense and want to do stupid things like that. it’s like they don’t care about their lives or more or less their cars. it wouldn’t be that great to go back to jail.”
‘ you can say that again but i wouldn’t ‘cause you already said it once so what’s the point in saying it twice? it’s a weird saying, but whatever. that’s neither here nor there. yeah, no, it’d totally suck. complete and total agreement with you there, ava. ’
mvritzaw:
“truthfully, i don’t understand the whole hype of the song. like i guess it’s good…i’ve only listened to the part everyone sings about, but people are doing the most with the whole dance challenge or whateva it is. i mean its funny, but also a little cringey.”
‘ but is it good or is the government just trying to get us to think it’s good? ‘cause i feel like it’s the latter. i dunno, i’m just not into the whole fake nice guy thing. if you’re gonna be shitty to a girl for not liking you back, just say you’re an asshole and go. so maybe i’m biased against the whole drake hype altogether. whatever happened to swallowing cinnamon and burning your hand with salt and ice? those were the good challenges. ’
stfublake:
“i low key forgot that you got your license taken away. but you know what? i’ll never forget that you went to jail or that you were someone’s prison bitch. i’ll definitely never forget that you learned how to make a jolly rancher shank. if you were wondering what to give me for my wedding, just give me your helicopter or a tutorial on how to make jolly rancher shanks. anyway, now that you have your license back we should do something fun. like go to a juice store or a drug run.”
‘ you know what, blake? maybe i got mine, but you got yours too. i kinda wish we’d gone to jail together, though. we could’ve started a gang. or at least, you could’ve protected me. no one tries to fuck with a 6′4 reincarnation of 1979′s jodie foster. but look, i’m not giving you my helicopter. i worked really hard for it. do you know what it’s like to have to be lido everyday? rough. maybe i’ll get you your own but only if i get to be the best man. otherwise you’re just getting a jolly rancher shank to the thigh, buddy, i didn’t wanna stoop to threats, but i’m getting nervous that you’re gonna pick someone else. wanna do both? i’m so down for a field trip. ’
gcbrielst:
‘ they’re all just trying to follow the trend. i’d just run them over anyways, ditch the car, and pretend nothing even happened. the fail ones are funny as fuck to watch though. seeing people chase their own car and end up falling on their ass ? amazing. can you imagine how weird it’ll be if the song really is about keke palmer ? like, damn, i wonder what she did to drake to get him worried like this. ’
‘ that’s fully a hit and run, gabe. why do you want me to go to jail? is it so you can be the most handsome one here? ‘cause even if i’m out of here, you gotta compete with lincoln and until you have a butterfly tattoo, i dunno if that’s gonna happen. this is a side of you i’ve never seen before. like i really thought you would’ve advocated for letting pedestrians cross and shit but you’re really read to kill ‘em all, huh? i like it. are you saying it’s not about keke palmer? ‘cause i don’t buy that for a second. but you know, you’re right. it’s probably about kiki kannibal. she’s kinda cute now. i know, i was shook too. ’
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⁙ incoming message⁙ from nova || open
nova: kind of finding it hard to see how putting on some clothes is going to end up in an explosion but like i know you'd find a way to prove me wrong there
nova: ahh okay i'll take your word for it then? i mean eat something other than candy because like that worries me
nova: i've only heard of the first part but yeah good motto
nova: good a true inspiration.
lido: i'm capable of great things
lido: nah im good but thank u for the concern
lido: yeah well u know it's all about creativity these days
lido: who am i to use an age old saying when i'm not age old?
lido: i actually am inspiring tbh im glad someone gets it
﹣ ̗̀ ❛ ☆ ⇢ imssg from lincoln🐶
lincoln: you didn't have to say i was BETTER
lincoln: but i appreciate it, i hope u fuck to kiwi
lincoln: i don't want to punch u in the face
lincoln: i miss begging to suck ur dick and u saying no
lincoln: but we can spoon
lincoln: are oreos even vegan?
lincoln: i've got romantic ones, i'm just saving them :/
lincoln: don't call her that
lincoln: how am i jinxing it? haven't you already asked?
lincoln: quit trying to avoid him then :(
lincoln: don't tell me not to be weird when you're the fucking weirdo here and always have been
lincoln: it's always fun :) bradley's fun
lido: u are better though like ur the best
lido: nah that's bad juju, i'm not ready for a kid
lido: i wish u would.. it's the closest i've ever felt to u
lido: ok no that's not gonna happen
lido: thats not gonna happen either, every time we do ur dick gets hard
lido: 100%, dont fight me on my own turf
lido: ur gonna end up like dally winston son
lido: well i wanna hear em
lido: tell her to stop being that
lido: no that's not what me and phe do
lido: like she just kinda.. moved her stuff into my house
lido: and i think that seals the deal right?
lido: ur the one who left me for her
lido: u were so fuckin into that lego bitch
lido: she literally ran me over with her barbie jeep when i was 10
while he’s not exactly sold on gretchen and all the fur she’s left in his bed, there’s nothing about phe that he doesn’t love or he can’t grow to love. he figures the dog falls into the latter half of that statement. everything else deals more with the former. if they’re a package deal, he’ll take it. it’s just refreshing to be back in his house and have it feel like a home again. she has a way of doing that; making all the wrongs back into rights and the foreigns into familiar. it’s weird because they haven’t even known each other that long, but quantity has never trumped quality. they bicker and fight and argue about the silliest things but none of that matters. maybe in the moment it does and it feels like the end of the world, but that feeling never lasts. one of them caves eventually and everything’s forgotten and forgiven. lido’s never really looked at his life and described anything as healthy before, but he can’t help but look at phe and think that whatever they have going on is exactly that. the thought brings a smile to his face, taking a break between games of fortnite he doesn’t really participate in to glance over at her, catching her in the shameful act of taking a selfie. ‘ you’re cute, ’ he mumbles after a moment of shameless admiration, wondering if she caught him staring or if she’s too involved in getting just the right angle to notice him. regardless, he’s leaning closer to her, pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips before telling her to post it, that she’ll easily land a million likes in a matter of moments. / @ophclics
‘ someone let me know why as soon as i get my license back, people wanna jump out of their cars and start lip syncing the most overrated song of the century as if other people aren’t trying to fuckin’ drive like normal human beings. like, first of all debra, don’t scratch the jag. second of all, i don’t wanna go back to jail for nailing another pedestrian in the bad way. and thirdly, leave keke palmer the fuck alone. true jackson vp wasn’t even that good. ’
﹣ ̗̀ ❛ ☆ ⇢ imssg from lincoln🐶
lincoln: that's debatable but i don't want to argue
lincoln: u know what else isn't a new development
lincoln: how much i want to punch you in the face
lincoln: is avocado toast good? as a vegan, i want ur opinion on it
lincoln: are u telling me kiwi isn't about you
lincoln: bradley told me it's too big
lincoln: or maybe she brought it up and now i can't stop thinking about how it actually is too big
lincoln: how's your girlfriend
lincoln: she was upset, give her a break
lincoln: tbh i went and saw her in jamaica
lido: ok fine ur better.. kiwi's a bop
lido: dude punch me in the face so hard ur hand breaks
lido: i miss our intimacy
lido: im a junk food vegan, ur gonna have to ask one of the other vegans in this family for their opinions on avocado i literally just eat sour sghetti and oreos
lido: i just thought my song would be more romantic :/
lido: dont listen to her, shes stupid
lido: omg lincoln listen 2 me .. ur head is normal
lido: shut up dont jinx it, u know i have the worst luck
lido: shes good.. shes cute.. workin hard on the summer jam
lido: yeah i was upset too bc i didnt get to see my best friend
lido: hey remember when we met and i tried to give u a lego i found in my bellybutton
lido: dude wtf dont be weird
lido: was it fun at least
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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⁙ incoming message⁙ from nova || open
nova: so you can so help
nova: i'm pretty sure i have black jeans and a shirt
nova: you have a dad bod? never knew that
nova: whatever motto you wanna live by
nova: no it's not you do you, like live your life how you want whos to judge?
lido: the last time i helped someone everything exploded
lido: maybe u should zhuzh it up a little bit
lido: it's something between being extremely malnourished since i only eat candy and cigarettes and a beer belly tbh
lido: u dont wanna see it
lido: im a big fan of fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, fiddle dee dee
lido: ok cool bc i always do what i want
❝ ɪᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ❞ ↝ lidorito🌮👫
ophelia: but i don't want my lucky charms THAT sweet
ophelia: i'm the weirdo who picks out the marshmallows and just eats some whole grains
ophelia: but we don't KNOW that it isn't confirmed
ophelia: i get it and i'm turning it into an office
ophelia: we can work on girl crush things :)
ophelia: who the fuck boils a toothbrush
ophelia: you're not, you're going to get a big boy toothbrush and you're going to like it
ophelia: bradley would kill her
ophelia: do u not want me here :(
ophelia: she LOVES you, they're love bites
lido: when i ate marshmallows i totally did that and it pissed everyone else in the house off, my prime
lido: how about i buy some cap'n crunch for us?
lido: ok no thats not happening at all its going to be left all the way completely alone
lido: do u know how much that room is worth phe?? millions easily
lido: u boil it to get the germs off omg
lido: i want my teardrops on my guitar toothbrush
lido: is there anyone in this world bradley wouldnt kill
lido: im surprised she can keep herself alive
lido: thats not what i said
lido: im just confused like when did this happen
lido: she GROWLS at me
⁙ incoming message⁙ from nova || open
nova: i mean you are male right?
nova: i have a menswear line coming out with everything as well.. i need to know what men think
nova: i plan on it i just need the help first i'm that shady boss no one likes
nova: everything is possible
nova: we both know you're going to do whatever you want anyways so just like do what you want to do and if it's be fake so be it
lido: i mean yeah that's what i've thought this whole time
lido: umm i just like black jeans and black tshirts
lido: a little sheer though so i can show off the fact that i dont have a butterfly tattoo on my dad bod
lido: yeah either that or nothing is impossible
lido: u say that like doing what i want is a bad thing
﹣ ̗̀ ❛ ☆ ⇢ imssg from lincoln🐶
lincoln: u have had a weird obsession with taylor since i met you, lido
lincoln: it's not a new development
lincoln: they should've been the first ones to listen to it but i appreciate you more than anything in this world
lincoln: u say that like my head isn't already 3x too big
lincoln: how were the hamps, anyway?
lincoln: i left before i could be a third wheel for more than 20 minutes
lido: shes the best singer in the world lincoln
lido: u know what else isnt a new development
lido: how shes the best singer in the world
lido: yeah well u know theyre busy with their avocado toast and stuff
lido: when are u gonna write a song abt me
lido: omg stop ur head isnt too big, its normal sized
lido: they were pretty good u know the hamps are always good
lido: good company
lido: u wouldnt have third wheeled if fuckin breadley didnt leave and try to ruin it for everyone
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
❝ ɪᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ❞ ↝ lidorito🌮👫
ophelia: almond milk doesn't go good with lucky charms
ophelia: >:(
ophelia: look we don't know that i dropped it into the toilet before u brushed your teeth
ophelia: i didn't know what to do ok i PANICKED so i rinsed it off and put it back where it belongs
ophelia: she doesn't have anywhere else to go :( and ur only mildly allergic we'll just keep her out of the bedroom, she can sleep in her dog bed in the living room
ophelia: she loves you sm don't deny her love
lido: almond milk goes better with lucky charms than regular milk it's literally sweeter
lido: ok u probably did u wake up earlier than me
lido: if i die dont touch the taylor swift room i havent decided who gets it
lido: why didnt u boil it phe thats what ur supposed to do
lido: id buy a new one but where am i gonna get a teardrops on my guitar toothtunes toothbrush in 2018
lido: cant u give her to bradley
lido: what even happened to ur house
lido: she growls at me and bites me??
❝ ɪᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ❞ ↝ lidorito🌮👫
ophelia: sos sos we have a major problem
ophelia: you don't have any milk bc you're vegan but my cereal isn't good without it :(
ophelia: also i dropped your toothbrush in the toilet on accident this morning
ophelia: gretchen nipped my ankle so u can blame her
ophelia: but u should pick up another
ophelia: along with some milk for me
lido: i have almond milk wtf did u drink it all
lido: what
lido: ophelia i brushed my fuckin teeth contrary to popular belief im probably gonna DIE
lido: please remove the dog from my house u know im allergic to her and even if i wasnt shed kill me any other way she could think of
lido: she doesnt like me phe i know you think im lying but im not
