Flow

Time is all we have to really fall back on I don't want to think time will ever have my back because it won't It won't hold me down and keep me on lock It won't show me the path when I struggle I can't slow it down Or even go back to the time when there was This love I'm working on it I'm working with you I'm working on me Perfection is key But in time See there goes that time thing I quiver in fear knowing that there is no more I get a rush of excitement. So I thought But I'm just nauseous I'm sick to my stomach because this time I put my time in your hands. Playing the cards of this love game. I threw down my heart and still I can't slow the time down for the next hand. I don't want it. I love you Wait no I hate you No... I'm sorry And the time passes before I get anything back The time will always be there watching as I crack As i lift my self up This time thing got me fucked up Twisted mind Tossing and turning Faded sober My body hurts I can't help this heartache My mind is blank Paused The smile showing is real.... The devil in me knows it's fake As the body drifts off into another place. Everyone watching as I lift off Staring with blank eyes My soul is now lost. Rewind rewind Please stop this time As it goes on and on and on And on............ Why me. Time... Please My knees are weak I'll learn from my mistakes and take time to another place in my life. I cherish and adore it more than ever. Only because this time it will last forever.

And then the sounds was silent This feeling that was deep with in suddenly folded and faded in the dark. I thought I was picking up the pieces Trying to mend them back together I thought this love you gave would last for ever. You lied to me I'm left standing under the light in the dark This light is only seen with my eyes. Fighting back each nightmare Each tear Each lash of pain that's ever touched me I'm pushing it all away Or I thought I was But this thing And evil being is still left here I'm still sad and these drops won't seem to leave my eyes It keeps falling and I just can't help but sit here and cry You lied I feel played and used Not in a sense of lost for another love But it's almost as you just gave up. Why. I thought this was the role that was supposed to be played I was supposed to be the wife who played the maid I did everything that was needed. I held you down and did what I was able to do I gave you my all I answered when you called But what happens is I sit here and try to put my heart back together. But my heart won't mend It's broken and always the good looses in the end I'm broken.

The biggest accomplishments Is everything you did. Doing the most and being your own host. So at the end of the day When you look at the ocean There is a boat waiting for you to control If you have it all down Set your life on coast and let it take you away To a better place.

My secrets held in a important place. Your my love Hold the greatest gift send from above To my babe I love

I sit always waiting patient My thoughts might be loud because I'm frustrate but I'm still waiting patiently Maybe it won't be the day the actual day to sweep me off my feet But I'm still wondering when you will Waiting patiently for the day to come to stand still I swear I shouldn't see the clouds moving Shouldn't see the trees swinging Should see the wind blowing. But I do. I'll still wait patiently until that day comes My life will always seem like sad nights on a Sunday Dark, and silent with bright lights blinding. Listen to the crickets sing and the frogs dream Cars driving by and analyzing life and it's meanings Blank draws closer to my brain Cloudy,lite grayish type of thing hovering over me trying to get in side my brain. And then it starts to rain A sad drop, salty like, clear and cloudy almost as if I just let this cloud in me. A tear just 1 is racing down the side of my cheek reminding me why I'm still patiently waiting Why I'm still patiently waiting Dramatically I swiped if off of me Knowing why I'm crying I'm sad because I'm still here patiently waiting for you to save me. I'll hold my breath until the day that you see me. Listen to my story. It'll play on repeat

All jokes aside. I admire your every inch You are everything this world needs. More of you And more of the love you share with me. Let’s show the world how it’s supposed to be.

At a lost, cant speak. I'm stuck trying to pull all the letter together to form into words. But the topic is a blur I can see the letters. Even Pictures randomly popping into my head trying to form into words. But some how I cannot seem to allow them to leave my mouth. I can sit an gather my thoughts For moments and moments I can take time But the pressure is closing in on me Sneaking up on me from all sides Feeling uncomfortable Anxious as I try to say the very first word that pops into my head I'm sad I'm mad. Angry actually Frustrated Overwhelmed And they just start to flow So excited to be able to express how I'm feeling because now I don't hate you I hated what was done before you walked into the room I love you I'm confused at how fast this can change and turn into a love thing How you come in the room and it's lovely This feeling I feel Cherishing The air you breath All these butterflies inside of me. Just knowing that I was so upset So over it We is what we created. As one you give me that shaking feeling Because of you. Everything can come true.

Baby boy only 3 years old Don't know how to play with toys Because he sees the world But he holds a gun in his hands and knows where the trigger stands. Older yet With a different mindset. Not knowing the difference between addition and subtraction because he sees the world. Its so cold A person with a skin color Comes to me Has hands and feet Eyes and some teeth Does he deserve love? Human being is all I see. I see another man Same figure and shape as the one before But fuck Hands open waiting for more Money.. Money.. Money.. But I'm hungry. Judgement spread faster than melting butter Faster than peeps hitting the street Death hanging off the gutter. But this is what teaches our kids. Pointless but they think they get the job done. Baby boy still thinks playing with a hand gun is fun. Fall back on love and let its do right Parents show the path Lead the way I'm going to sit back and pray. Dear god.

I am at a stand still. I am at a pause. So you know.... A complete dead end The smile I have is false I can play the show and pretend But this broke heart won't mend. But when? A gap Like a small place The one right next to a rock and the hard place They say. With the sound of nothing But.... If you give it a moment You can hear it whistler The wind blowing the trees Allowing the branches to intertwine and wrestle. Similar to hands dusting off crumb with no meaning in the world. Meaningless Nothing It's just a crumb But the wind blows Whispering Soft as a feather On and on but it goes to the next Funny how life appears invisible to the silly things Only the fucked can be seen It seems. Emotions running through my veins trying to catch my breath. As if I ran through the alley towards a light. But the only light around is the street lights above. Inhale through your nose Out with your mouth....... Frustrated trying to break that whole process down. Nose first then mouth. Or is it mouth than nose Catch your breath Nose than mouth. Nose than mouth. I'm at a stand Still lost because my feet are still on the ground My hands are still hands and my mind is cloudy Or is it the clouds around me. I'm only the clown I could be. Me. Why must I be a woman with fucked up mood swings. Feeling these weird things. Like a puppet master controlling my own strings I'm wrong I've always been wrong I always do right by you But I'm at fault Took the step past love. The one right next to the broken line. As a snake I am I slithered my way through that crack and passed that line. Like life never had a meaning. In reality we are just ghost roaming the streets seeing things. Afraid of the next shadow that comes across because our minds are lost. But by the end it is all my fault.