HANNA   MARIN   ,   primary   ,   madeliar

LOIS   LANE   ,   secondary   ,   shedelator

ARIA   MONTGOMERY   ,   tertiary   ,   liarterature

“I will beat the devil in an appropriate place and not ruin my floors.”

“I got drunk and now I’m sitting on the ground.”

“Get an ouija board or something and bring me back!”

“Hi, welcome to me time.”

“Do you have anymore almond milk?”

“Just do it!”

“Hell yeah!”

“[Name], stop!”

“Cover it in mustard, and call it a day.”

“The power of Christ compels you.”

“What?”

“[Name], no one is judging you.”

“We know you have a soap fetish, it’s okay, just let it out.”

“Who said you could come in?”

“What’s wrong with eating paint?”

“I will lock myself in the bathroom and fucking cry.”

“I don’t know what the fuck is happening.”

“I painted my face green, I’m ready to party.”

“Cannolis, bitch!”

“I look like a half eaten apple on a road trip.”

“Look how much your mom loves you!”

“Can’t you see what the fuck I’m wearing, bitch?”

“I’m having me time, get out.”

“The devil is everywhere.”

“I think what I’m trying to say is that I just wanna fucking disappear.”

“Some people think that I’m crazy, I’m just out here trying to have a good time, what’s your problem?”

“Don’t do drugs, not even once.”

“I have a basketball game tomorrow.”

“We’re good? Tight.”

“Don’t ever talk to me or my son ever again.”

“The darkness will swallow you whole.”

“This is a safe place.”

“I love you so much, but you test me every day.”

“You’re a nasty bitch!”

“I didn’t come here to fuck around.”

“I want to be seen from the heavens!”

“I love fucking myself up.”

“Don’t expose me like this.”

“Who you fightin’?”

“Please come back, please come back, please come back.”

“My face is burned.”

“Hi, welcome to I feel guilty.”

“I am on a never ending quest to be the most beautiful person in the world.”

“Look at me! And my exquisite face!”

“You have to go to your baseball game right now, son!”

“I think it looks natural.”

“Go away.”

“I’ll never let go.”

“Do I look like someone who wants to hurt your feelings?”

“What are your standards?”

SAID BY THE 2 YEAR OLD

“OH NO! NOT BEIGE AGAIN!”

“No nap! No nap ever! Nap gone! Goodbye!”

*gasp* “Cookie?”

“I love you. But…not really. I don’t love you. Bye.”

“Oh man! The gun was in front of the TV I was watching!”

“Take my left shoe off! I can’t do that one!”

“Green is better. Better than anything to ever be.”

“Mac and cheese is my best friend.”

“BEEP BEEP HERE I COME!”

“Take off your hat!”

“Siren! You be quiet!”

“Oh hello there.”

“I don’t want that. Throw it in the garbage.”

“Please don’t leave, [name.] I love you.”

SAID BY THE 5 YEAR OLD

“Just ignore him, he’ll work it out.“

“DID HE JUST SAY STUPID THAT’S NOT NICE I’M CALLING AN AMBULANCE”

“How is it fair that they have ice cream and I don’t? It’s not. It’s not fair.”

*sings the Titanic theme while standing on the back of the couch*

“I want plain bread.”

“Okay, just hear me out, listen to me, just hear me out…”

“LOOK! I’M MAKING A TRAFFIC JAM!”

“What’s Hawaii? That sounds not real.”

“I’m free for snuggles! I’m available! Hello!”

“Ugh! Where have you been? You were in the bathroom sixty years!”

“I don’t want to go, I’m calling in dead. I’m so tired that I’m dead. I’m calling in dead.”

“It’s not creepy! It’s just…not okay.”

“What about snacktime? It’s the most important ‘time’ of the day - next to bathtime and bedtime, but snacktime is still the best.”

“Neighbors don’t exist!”

“Goodbye forever!”

“If it involves fruit snacks, I’m in.”

“I don’t care what your mommy wants!”

“Why is it called a hoodie if you won’t wear the hood? It’s all lies!”

“You can’t leave! Then you won’t be here! And that’s where I like you most!”

“I love you, [name.] I’ll always remember you, even in a long time from now. Yeah. I’ll always love you.”

SAID BY THE 20 YEAR OLD NANNY

“Okay, Spiderman, let’s find your brother.”

“STOP TRYING TO CHOKE ME OUT.”

“There will be no negotiating, this is not a democracy, I am in charge!”

“I’M THE ONE WHO GOT KICKED IN THE FACE, WHY DO I NEED TO GO IN TIMEOUT?”

“You make me simultaneously make me the happiest I’ve ever been and the most upset I’ve ever been. It depends on the day.”

“Can we calm down for thirty seconds?”

“For the love of god, we already had one person in this house who broke their arm, we don’t need another!”

“[name] IT’S TOO QUIET WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“You can be mad all you want, I’m not going to apologize for not letting you run into the street!”

“That’s valid and I love you.”

*whispered* “Oh for fucks sake.”

“I will support you in all your dreams in life…except that one, I think that one is illegal.”

“You better appreciate me.”

“So what we’re not going to do…is that.”

“Why are you screaming bloody murder about crackers?”

“Can we just have naptime? That’s all I want.”

“No, McDonalds is not a state, in fact.”

“At least one of you has manners.”

“Listen, buddy, all I’m asking is for you to hold my hand. It’s not the end of the world.”

“End of discussion! No more! We’re done! Period.”

“That? That’s the ‘Confiscation Corner.’ That’s all the things I’ve had to take away from you, because you mishandled them.”

“I love you with all of my heart and soul, but why on earth did you think that was a good idea?”

“I just…do not care.”

𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈-𝐄𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀 , 𝐏𝐓. 𝟏

“It is the season of extra.”

“Welcome to my extended birthday party that lasts a month long.”

“I’m going to show you a magic trick.”

“I really don’t care.”

“I don’t have all the ingredients for this…”

“Should I flip this?”

“Okay, done, easy, what else you got?”

“Now [she’s/he’s/they’re] never gonna leave.”

“All I’ve ever known is doing it to ‘em.”

“I’m really not mad at it.”

“See…what you need here…is a knife.”

“I need to apologize before anything begins…”

“You’re gonna like it.”

“It’s gonna be good for us.”

“How are you holding that in your hand?!”

“I don’t want to go to the emergency room today.”

“I know you have urges to grab knives by their blade, but…”

“I knew I should have come down here and supervised you.”

“That’s fucking really loud.”

“I don’t need supervision.”

“I had to do it to ‘em.”

“I love when you cook and I do nothing.”

“I’m going to go lay down.”

“How did you get it to taste like that?”

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Exspandex these muscles to open this bag!”

“I can’t stand when you’re so charming and sweet and the best.”

“If you weren’t so funny and adorable, I would just fucking move out.”

“I don’t see the issue.”

“Impress me! Don’t go out of your way, don’t kill yourself, but impress me!”

“I might not have done the absolute perfect job, but that’s irrelevant.”

“How can I fight a recipe?”

*box jumps onto the counter*

“How hot are you?”

“Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.”

“Have you ever considered NOT doing it to ‘em?”

“Welcome back to my kitchen.”

“I need to come to an understanding that sometimes people make mistakes. And I am about to make one today. 95% sure what a big mistake will take place right here.”

“Maybe try sitting down before I say this next part.”

“I made it out of scratch just for you.”

“You might be asking yourself: that’s disgusting.”

“What you did is really unforgivable.”

“They don’t know how to do it to ‘em!”

“You might not be Australian.”

“That’s not allowed. That shouldn’t be allowed?”

“I’m too tired for this.”

“If it goes horribly wrong, as it often does…then whatever.”