Hypno Headspace~

1) “I love Cock”

Just a simple short edging audio of me saying some cock-worship mantras ☺️

I did start planning out the general “script” of my next audio, though: how girls are sex objects and only Men deserve to cum ❤️ Expect to hear that one soon!

Listen here

I hope you enjoy 💕

2) Fucking my ass! Tumblr challenged me to 118 minutes of anal fucking, and i recorded clips of it all throughout. listen to me fuck my ass and get cock dumb ☺️

listen here

3) Edging to Sexist Affirmations. Rubbing my needy pussy while reminding myself of my place in a Man’s world

FIRST THINGS FIRST

The first thing (Well… one of the first things) you need to know about hypnosis is that it’s a completely natural state. People enter trances all the time without even realising that’s what’s happening.

Any time you become very focused on something, you’re in some form of hypnosis. It happens when you lose track of time because you’re embroiled in a book. It happens when you feel happy or sad watching a film because you’ve become emotionally invested in it. It happens when you daydream, or when you concentrate hard on study, or play, or you’re doing something complex but familiar that over time has become very natural to you, like driving home, singing along to a song you know well, drawing, writing, or even (if you’re a kinky sort into bondage and rope-play) tying up a loved one. 

Any time you feel like you’re “in the zone”, you’re in some form of natural trance.

Someone that tells you that they’ve never been hypnotized is probably mistaken. Odds are they have been… but not in the way they think hypnosis works. Be gentle when you break this to them. Coming across as wise in the ways of trance will score you brownie points and make it easier to hypnotize your glamorous volunteer later. Coming across as a smug know-it-all will lose you points.

If someone tells you they want to be hypnotized but it “doesn’t work on me”.. or “I can’t be hypnotized”, it might just be that they haven’t met the right hypnotist yet. Everyone can be hypnotized to some degree… it just doesn’t always follow the traditional set of feelings and behaviours outlined by Saturday morning cartoons and campy black and white vampire movies… for some people being in trance is something relaxed and detached… for others, it’s something sensual and erotic… and for others… it can follow the traditional portrayal of being mindless, compelled and mind controlled in exactly the same manner as those old cartoons and movie scenes. Right down to someone becoming your hypnotized zombie slave, intoning “How may I serve you Master / Mistress” any time you snap your fingers in front of their face. 

Because it’s a natural state, very often people don’t realise that they’re even hypnotized. A lot of people expect to feel *very* different once they’re under, and just because they don’t suddenly feel like a zombie, slavegirl or robot, they’ll think that means they’re not under.

The blame for this lies largely with Hollywood.

Classically, (In most movies and TV shows) hypnosis is portrayed as a very unusual and mysterious state of mind, where the person in trance has no awareness or control of what’s going on. They’re often presented as being little more than a puppet or plaything, and the person who’s placed them in trance, (The Vampire, The Svengali, The Stage Magician) has total control of that person’s thoughts, actions and experiences.

Now… this *can* be how hypnosis works. Especially if your subject is attracted to the idea of feeling that way, but for someone who’s just interested in exploring trance itself, and hasn’t come to hypnosis through Hollywood’s or The Jungle Book’s portrayal of hypnosis, rather than blank minded obedience, most people will just feel very very chilled out within trance.

This brings us to the *other* first thing you need to know about hypnosis (I did say there was more than one):

All hypnosis is *Self Hypnosis* to some degree, and how a person will feel in trance depends on what they expect to feel, what they **want** to feel, and who’s hypnotizing them.

This leads us to one of the most important things to bear in mind when you’re hypnotizing someone:

THE BEST TRANCE FOR YOUR SUBJECT

ALWAYS find out from your subject up front what it is she or he wants from the experience.

If your subject just wants to feel relaxed, comfortable, chilled out and safe… there’s not much point in doing an induction with them that focuses on helplessness and loss of control. They’ll become uncomfortable with the ideas you’re presenting them with, they might feel wary, they might feel irritated, they might feel scared, and either way they won’t be engaging with your words, or relaxing effectively.

Equally, if your subject is a kinky so-and-so that *wants* to feel manipulated, helpless, coerced, teased and toyed with, but your induction focuses on feelings of safety and empowerment… they’ll probably find the experience very dry and boring, as a result they won’t engage effectively, as a result, they won’t achieve the kind of trance that you’re both interested in exploring.

ALWAYS tailor the experience to your subject so you can be the hypnotist of their dreams.

Here’s a (none exhaustive) list of possible trance “Flavours”

Safe & Protected

Aroused & Erotic

Blank & Mindless

Dazed & Drugged

Playful & Naughty

Captive & Helpless

Detached & Passive

Disarmed & Seduced

Beautiful & Sensuous

Emotionless & Empty

Empowered & Focused

Submissive & Obedient

Energised & Meditative

Objectified & Impersonal

Brainwashed & Mind Controlled 

Vulnerable & Scared

YOURSELF AS A HYPNOTIST  Speaking of being the hypnotist of their dreams, this brings us to the most important thing to remember about yourself as a hypnotist, and that is:  Confidence is key.  When guiding someone into hypnosis, they need to be relaxed and at ease. If it’s your first time hypnotizing someone and you *tell* them that, then no matter how much they like you, they’re not going to feel particularly confident in your abilities. If you don’t know what you’re doing, or you’re not quite sure of how it works or what will happen and you say any of the following:  “Can I try to hypnotize you?“  “I’ve never done this before…"  “I don’t know if this will work…"  “Sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing…"  “I don’t really know how this works…"  Then you’re pretty much shooting yourself in the foot.  Even if you’re not entirely sure of what you’re doing, what direction things are going to go in, or whether or not it’ll work, you need to present a confident face to your subject. This puts them at ease and creates the expectation that everything will be going swimmingly.  Using words and phrases like “Try” “Unsure” “Sorry” “Don’t know” “Never” and “Newbie” will kill any confidence in it working.  Alternately, if you say any of the following:  “Would you let me hypnotize you?“  “It’s easy, you get hypnotized often without realising anyway"  “You like feeling helpless? Well you’ll find trance *deliciously* helpless"  “You like feeling relaxed? You’ll find this more relaxing than anything!“  “After you’ve been hypnotized, you’ll feel like you’ve had the best sleep"  “In trance you’ll feel all your favourite things.“  You’re creating the expectation that not only is this going to work, but it’s going to be deeply enjoyable for your subject.  There’s actually some NLP (Neuro Linguistic Progamming) in there. That’s not something I’ve studied it in any great depth, but in essence you’re using predictive language to create assumptions and shape expectation. In the examples above, you’re basically telling your subject that:  a) This is going to work.  b) It’s going to be very enjoyable.  c) I’m very confident that it’ll work (So you should be confident in that too.)  Simple, right?  Speaking of “Right?” that’s another thing. 

TRICKS OF THE TRADE  If you can get your subject to agree to you several times, that places them in a more acceptant, agreeable and directable mindset. If you get them to say “Yes” three times, that naturally places people in a state where they’re more likely to continue agreeing.  This is why it’s important to build trust and rapport with your subject. If you know up front that your subject wants to feel enchanted and intoxicated… but doesn’t want to feel *too* out of control or sexual, then you can build the start of your induction out of ingredients that you already know.  Hypnotist: Would you like me to hypnotize you now?  Subject: Yes okay.  Hypnotist: And you’re happy to feel enchanted, a little dazed, and intoxicated, right?  Subject: Yes.  Hypnotist: But you don’t want to dance around naked *just* yet… right?  Subject: Heh, right.  Even though in the example above, something has been presented that the subject might not be keen on (dancing around naked), it’s been highlighted as something they *won’t* be doing (making them feel happier), a joke’s been made about it (making them feel amused and comfortable) and they’ve still followed up the question with an affirmation, right? ;)  “Right?"  "Yes?"  "D'you follow?"  "Are you with me?"  Are all phrases that invite agreement from the subject. Society and language being what they are, many english speaking people have been trained to agree in response before they’ve even analysed what it is they’re agreeing to.  Anyway. You’ve discussed with your subject what they want from trance and how they want it to feel. You’ve hopefully put them at ease by making it clear the trance you’ll be doing with them is tailored to their own specific interests. Now how do you begin?  Again you need to tailor your induction to your subject. 

THE INDUCTION  Back to the trance flavours above. Once you’re ready to begin hypnotizing your subject, try to use language that reflects their chosen flavour. If they want to feel dominated and overpowered: be dark and dominant. If they want to feel safe, be reassuring and calming. If they want to feel objectified: talk at them like they’re an obedient thing before they’re a person. You’ll find you have much more success that way than if you use the same induction on *everyone.* 

Do they want background music? Put some on.

Do they like the idea of focusing on a pendant, or crystal? Get one.

Are pendants a little too cliché? Use a candle instead.

Is the idea of focusing on *anything* like that kinda laughable? Just have them close their eyes.

Are they a visual person? Describe a relaxing scene.

Are they more tactile? Describe enjoyable sensations.

Do they want helplessness? Describe a bondage scenario.

Do they want relaxation? Describe a beach or a warm bath.  I’m assuming first time round you’ll be doing some form of progressive relaxation with your subject. It’s not too flashy, but it’s what a lot of people expect. (Though if your subject **expects** a rapid instant SLEEP induction, then by all means, do that with them!)  Spend about 5-10 minutes talking softly to your subject, guiding them and relaxing them as much as possible.   You might notice them twitch a little (a sign the muscles are relaxing)  You might notice their eyelids flickering (a sign in some of entering trance)  They might grow totally still and limp.  They *might* be kind of a fidget (annoying, sure, but not everyone will immediately go into deep comatose states.) 

HOW DEEPLY HYPNOTIZED ARE THEY?  In the early stages of trance, a person feels disarmed and agreeable. After a hypnotic stageshow in which they were lightly hypnotized, they might carry out every suggestion they’re given, but come away from the stage saying "I was just playing along. I don’t think I was *really* hypnotized"  In medium states of hypnosis, people feel very focused and involved. They’ll say after the show that whilst perhaps they knew they weren’t *really* Lady Gaga, they kinda felt like they *had* to dance and act like her whenever they heard a hypnotic trigger or piece of music.  In deep states of hypnosis, people can feel so enchanted and hypnotized that they believe almost everything they’re told (within reason). After the show they’re likely to admit to believing for a while that they *were* Lady Gaga, that the audience were totally naked, or that they firmly believed that the hypnotist was the cutest guy they’d ever met. 

GETTING THEM DEEPER 

There are lots of tricks you can use to get a subject’s trance deeper. 

One tool is "Fractionation”. This is using contrasting states to deepen the level of trance. 

For example… 

I often have my subjects picture a scale from 0 to 10. 

0 is wide awake, full of energy and bouncing off the walls.  10 being totally enchanted, obedient in every way. 

(Or whatever analogue fits their preferred flavour.) 

If my subject says she’s at a 5 or 6, I’ll ask her to allow herself to drop to their deepest level of relaxation every time I say “Sleep" 

Then I’ll tell her she can easily follow my words into or out of trance. To begin with, I might start counting them out of trance, counting fairly quickly from 5 to 1, then telling them that at 1 they feel more or less awake… the only difference being that they’re calm, and still, and their eyes are closed. 

Demonstrating that trance is easy to come out of by following my words naturally creates the counter belief that trance is easy to get into by following my words deeper. 

Then I’ll say "Sleep” and tell them to notice that they’ve gone from almost awake… to very very calm and still.  

Do this a few times, counting near 0 and telling your subject that she can move and stretch and open her eyes and smile… then telling her to “SLEEP” and telling her that she’s too calm, too dreamy, too dazed and too still to do anything but breathe, relax and follow. 

If your subject likes the idea of feeling helpless, you could initially place control over their depth with them, telling them that as they count, they take themselves deeper or bring themselves out of trance. If this works, you can then tell your subject that they *can’t* bring themselves out now, and that any attempts to do so only take them deeper. 

(Be aware, you should only use this particular method on someone who *likes* the idea of being locked helplessly in trance.) 

SUGGESTIONS AND DEPTH  In a light state of hypnosis, you can affect someone’s behaviour.  In a medium state, you can affect their memories and drives.  In deeper states, you can affect their senses and experiences.  In order to build depth throughout your sessions, with most subjects you’ll want to start at the lighter end of the spectrum, as opposed to immediately aiming for deep and potent suggestions.  Light Suggestions

You’re too relaxed to move, trying to move only relaxes you more.

Any time I say something’s “Bound” that part of you will stick in place.

Any time I use the word “SPANK” you’ll slap your own arse.

You have tourette’s syndrome, the moment a rude word enters your mind, you speak it. You deny that this is happening. 

Medium Suggestions

Any time I say the word “Blank” your mind becomes neutral and empty, like your thoughts have slipped out of great.

Your name is forgotten, when you try to say it it’s on the tip of your tongue… but you can’t quite recall it or speak it.

You feel very submissive and obedient.

Any time music plays, you can’t stop yourself dancing.

You’re a nudist. You love being naked. You don’t see the point in clothes.

You’re a slavegirl, you love to obey in every way. 

Deep Suggestions

You’re a rubber sexdolly. All you want to do is be fucked.

Even though you’re nude, you believe that you’re fully dressed.

Any time I use the word “Brink” you’ll come to the edge of orgasm.

Any time I use the word “SPANK” you’ll feel your arse being slapped.

Your clit is turned off, playing with it is about as sexy as playing with your own elbow.

Your clit has been relocated to the tip of your nose, rubbing *that* is now the sexiest thing in the world. 

Use deepeners, stick to your subject’s favoured areas, and work your way down the depth scale and you’ll soon have a subject trained to experience whatever hypnotic phenomena you wish them to feel almost immediately! 

WAKING YOUR SUBJECT

After you’re done playing, in most cases you’ll want to remove the suggestions you gave your volunteer during playtime. Here’s a (paraphrased) wakener that I was introduced to by Rich of UK Southwest Hypnosis:

“5. Rising from trance now. 

4. All suggestions being washed away, returning to normal. 

3. Feeling restored and refreshed. Cleansed by crystal clear spring water.

2. Taking a nice deep breath of energy giving Oxygen. 

1. All heaviness dropping away. Feeling light and wonderful. 

0. Wide awake. Eyes open. Recalling as much or as little of your trance as you like. Feeling great!”

Following that, have a post-trance chat with your subject and make sure they’re feeling good. If they like the idea of forgetting their trance, it might be they don’t even recall that they went under. In most cases people will retain a fair degree of recall though. 

SAFETY

Depending on your subject, hypnosis can be a very powerful tool. As such, you should treat it (and your subject’s mind) with the right amount of respect when you play. You wouldn’t go nuts with a hammer and saw whilst decorating your bedroom, so there’s no reason to go bananas when playing with the mind of a friend or loved one. 

If your subject gets a headache from all the mind fuckery, bring them completely out of trance, (this will usually mean removing all suggestions as you do it.) and take a break. Trance can be a mental workout so it’s not unusual to feel tired or fuzzy after a while. 

A safety suggestion I give most subjects is “If you should receive a suggestion within trance that would endanger you, or seriously upset you, you can easily resist and say "no” to it. Suggestions you like though, you’ll be totally unable to resist.“ Sure this spoils the illusion of being an all powerful hypnobastard a little and makes it clear we’re not going to have our wicked way if that would make our subject uncomfortable… on the other hand, it’s more likely to make them trust going into trance, knowing that they do have that safety net there if they should ever need it. 

Don’t feel like you need to leave your subject with a list of triggers or behaviors to ensure you’ll have full control of them in future. If they want to be controlled by you. They’ll be controlled. If you end up being more possessive than they find comfortable, you’ll creep them out, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell them "You’ll love and obey me and ONLY me” they’ll probably just get uncomfortable. 

Don’t hypnotize pregnant women for none-beneficial, none-therapeutic reasons. (Unborn babies can detect the emotional state of their mother, so it’s unethical to mess with that.)

Don’t perform age regression on someone who you suspect of having a traumatic childhood. 

It’s best not to hypnotize someone with mental health issues who’s currently on medication for it. Trance can be an emotional rollercoaster, and just as you wouldn’t ride a rollercoaster if you had a heart condition, you shouldn’t be experiencing a barrage of hypnotic highs and lows if you’re in a vulnerable mental state. 

If your subject does experience an abreaction (which is a sudden flood of strong and possibly upsetting emotions, sometimes triggered by repressed or unpleasant memories) if possible, tell them you’ll be putting them back into trance briefly, so you can wake them up feeling better. Let them know everything’s fine. Use whatever method you can to get them back into trance then tell them: “On waking, you’re going to be your normal self, feeling refreshed and happy in every way, leaving all negative feelings, worries and sensations behind in trance. If you want to recall and discuss them later you’ll be free to do that. For now though, they’re all melting away, and you’re going to feel totally fine and back to being your normal self when you wake.”

Hope this guide helps you on your way, hypno-fans! 

Enjoy!

Lex

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.

Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”–punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.

The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)

Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.

Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.

Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being. 

NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.

Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive. 

Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.

Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.

Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.

Humiliation

A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across. 

Clothing Restriction

Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.

Diapering

For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.

Sissification

Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems. 

Public Humiliation

Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is simply that–controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging

Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.

Toy Restriction

For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.

Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal–either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm. 

Denial

Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.

Chastity

Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores

Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!

Furniture Restriction

Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.

Caging

Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.

Bedtime

A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.

Time-Out

Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.

Objectification

Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.

Dietary Restriction

If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.

Speech Restriction

For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact

If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes. 

Rice Kneeling

Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.

Figging

Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments

Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines

Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.

Apology Letter

An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.

Essay

An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.

Homework

Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you–because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!