liarajellyfish

#60s #90s #vintage #vintagemagazines #seventeen

women love me for my weak ankles and nervous disposition. it makes them want to hug me so hard it breaks my back like a glowstick

Guys what are your opinions on ants on a log??

they're a little jumpy on their way in and the crunch of the wood gets interrupted by the crunch of their exoskeletons, but on their way out it's a breeze.

m-m-mindbreak hentai? you wanna talk bestie?

is drake dr. plutonium? because i thought drake was blossoms baby daddy due to tiktok...idk about blossom being a mom but whatever.

ah so these are the 'disillusioned twenty-somethings' i keep hearing so much about.

I think the most depressing thing about that leaked Powerpuff script was that it was written by 2 adult women. What the fuck happened there. How do 2 adult women come up with something THIS intrinsically misogynistic and anti-feminist

not even our lady of film and television Diablo Cody couldn't fix this trainwreck.

inagine working a shitty ass minimum wage at some fuckin gas station on the side of the road in the middle of buttcrack missouri where you havent had a single customer in like a week and a half and suddenly you hear the dudty ass bell chime like a sweet song from god telling you that the door opened so you look up from your seventeen magazine from 2012 you found on the side of the road that youre only reading because its the only thing distracting yourself from your own mortality so you look up from the magazine and standing in front of the checkout desk its the fucking pope. wearing the full fucking pope getup in all his glory a foot in front of you watching you read a mud stained magazine where bella thorne talks about her favorite prints to mix and match and the pope is still a paying customer so you just smile and say hi how can i help you? :) and he just fucjing stares at you with his cold dead pope eyes and slowly raises his sceptre into the air and then bangs it on the ground so hard that the tile broke and thats either coming out of your paycheck or just never getting fixed at all and he hasnt broken eye contact with you since you first saw him and he smells like the pope probably smells and he tells you he demands your finest dobby pussy indulgence may god bless your soul. what would you do how would you feel if that was something that happened to you

inagine