safe place
your counselor told you in her office/ in the sexual assault prevention and awareness center/ that your boyfriend was your safe place/ that because your home was made out of darkness/ and your parents were selfish/ and when your grandma got breast cancer/ and sold her house/ and moved to Alabama/ and your roommate’s friends never  left your room/ even when you were sobbing/ in the middle of the week/ all you really had was him/ and your friends adored him/ because he made everyone laugh/ and when you couldn’t leave your house/ for a year and a half/ they were all smoking joints in basements/ laughing and loving him/ while you were broken and unstable/ so then even when you felt unhappy/ it couldn’t be because of him/ surely you were just/ dealing with your past/  not that he was always (only)/ saying nice things when you were/ taking off your pants/ not because he said it was too hard/ to have sex when you were sad/ and you were too sad always he said/ and too mean when you were angry/ and he could shut you out/ but only he could/ and he could hold you down when he was drunk/ because he was drunk/ and none of it mattered because he was all you had left.
