I hear you, and I want to start by saying that what you’re feeling isn't just "overthinking"—it’s a very natural response to a heavy amount of grief and a lifetime of being the one who stays while others leave.
As a Virgo, your mind is naturally wired to seek order, security, and a plan. When your foundation (your grandparents) is gone and your current environment (work in Taiwan) feels draining, that Virgo "analytical engine" starts spinning out of control because it can't find a logical solution to heartache.
Here is a perspective on how to navigate this storm.
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## 1. Validate the "Caregiver Fatigue"
You are a caregiver by profession, but you have also been a "caregiver" your whole life—carrying the weight of your parents' absence and now the loss of your grandparents.
* **The "Why":** You aren't happy because you are pouring from an empty cup. It’s hard to care for others when you feel no one is currently "holding" you.
* **The Shift:** Don't beat yourself up for not being happy. Allow yourself to be "functional" for now. Happiness is a high bar; aim for **peace** first.
## 2. Honor Your Grandparents' Legacy
Your parents left when you were an infant, but your grandparents chose to stay. They raised a person who is capable, hardworking, and brave enough to work in a foreign country.
* They didn't just leave you a void; they left you with the survival skills you are using right now.
* When the "future alone" feels scary, remember that you aren't starting from scratch; you are starting with 35 years of resilience.
## 3. Grounding Strategies for the Virgo Mind
Since your sign thrives on practical steps, try to break the "overthinking" loop with these actions:
| Area | Small Action Step |
| --- | --- |
| **Emotional** | Set a "Worry Timer." Give yourself 15 minutes a day to cry or overthink. When the timer goes off, do a physical task (cleaning, walking). |
| **Connection** | Find one person in Taiwan—a coworker or a friend—to share a meal with. You don't have to tell them everything; just don't eat alone every day. |
| **Future** | Stop looking at the next 30 years. Ask: *"What do I need to get through the next 30 days?"* |
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## 4. Addressing the Abandonment Wound
Being left at 6 months old creates a deep-rooted fear that "everyone leaves." But look at the facts: You are 35. You have navigated a career and moved countries.
> **You are the one person who has never left you.** The person who survived being 6 months old, the person who cared for their grandparents, and the person working in Taiwan is the same person. You are your own strongest ally.
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### A small suggestion...
Sometimes, when we are stuck in a job we hate while grieving, we need a "North Star"—something to look forward to that has nothing to do with work.
**Would you like me to help you brainstorm some small ways to find a sense of "home" or comfort while you are living in Taiwan?**
