She was mesmerized by the softness of his lips on her skin, by the firmness of his grip on her tights, and by the adoring gleam in his eyes every time he looked down at her. But she was also equally terrified of that invisible wave that seemed to rise from the pit of her stomach as he moved above her, threatening to crash over her with each passing second and each one of his thrust.

Ellie and Adrian had shared their bed a few times before, and she had been amazed by how she had instantly felt at ease in his arms. She had little experience before him, and had always been a little nervous to reveal herself in that way, but somehow, with him, she had never felt the level of self-consciousness that had pulled her down many times in the past. And yet, she was still terrified to let go.

Terrified of these sensations that were making her head spin and sink heavily against the pillows.

Terrified of the air escaping her windpipes with every surge of pleasure, making her gasp with the fear that it might never return to her lungs in time before the next wave would threaten to pull her under.

Terrified of the weight of her eyelids, refusing to lift when she was dying to keep her eyes open to find an anchor in Adrian’s hazy gaze.

This was all too terrifying, and she could feel her limbs shake with the intensity of her terror despite the soothing words that Adrian was whispering in her ears.

Adrian was taking his time. Smoothing her skin with his palms, pressing kisses on her neck, her chin, her jaw, and her hair. Nudging his nose in the space beneath her ear, muttering her name softly to make sure that she knew that there was no one else but her and him in the room, in this moment, and that nothing else going around the world mattered. That he had all the time in the world for her, that he was in no hurry.

He wanted to give her all. Everything he had. Everything he knew. But she would not let him.

He could feel her trembling against him, her brow furrowed in concentration as she was struggling to take in the sensations that were washing over her. And as much as he could tell how much pleasure she was feeling every time they had shared this precious intimacy together, he could tell that Ellie had been holding on each time. That she had been scared of letting herself go every single time. He could tell from the way she felt underneath him and from the sounds she made, even before she would hush him to slow down when it became too much for her.

Of course he did not want to pressure her, to push her beyond her limits, and at first he had been worried that he had been hurting her somehow, or asking too much of her in his desperation to be close to her as much as they could physically be. But now that he knew her better, after he had carefully studied her features, her breaths, and the tales of her skin every time he had held her naked body against his, he could tell that her fear and restraint had nothing to do with pain or discomfort. He had been on this earth for so long, sharing his bed countless times over the centuries, that he had not realised that part of what they shared could be entirely knew to her. She was scared of the unknown, scared of emotions she could not control. And he was determined to find a way to help her let go of these fears.

She was mentally cursing at herself. She wanted nothing more but to abandon herself in the heat of him, to trust Adrian with her body the same way she had trusted him with her life right after they had met just over a month before. But she could not stop the stupid gears from turning in her head.

One minute she would feel drunk from his touch, from his kisses, and from the delicious slide of his body against hers, and the other, she would just feel her breath catch in her throat and her heart jolt in her chest, as if waking up from a dream where she was free-falling from high above. She would grip his shoulders and wrap her lips against his collarbone to find purchase in the familiar taste and smell of him, but it would always take her desperately-long minutes to allow herself to be lulled back into comfort by the rocking of their joined bodies. It was driving her mad. But she was so scared. So. Scared.

And the more she acknowledged how irrational that fear was, the more she could feel it having a hold on her.

The first time she had felt like this with Adrian, she simply thought her mind was going to short-circuit. Their embrace had been so intense, the feel of his skin against hers so exhilarating, and the synchrony of their movements so perfect, that she had just felt suddenly overwhelmed by the scorching heat building inside her, as if it would burn her from the inside if she did not let her body cool down immediately. After that, she had kept trying to push against this irrational fear of this torturous pressure inside her, but could not ignore the way her brain did not seem to be able to identify whether that maddening sensation was pain or pleasure. It always seemed to teeter right on the edge between the two, and she could not convince her body to ignore the warning signals that her brain was sending so that she could be brave enough, at least one time, to see whether her lungs would scream out of pain or out of delight if she let the heat consume her.

And with each time she let her apprehension drag her away from the reality of Adrian’s loving embrace, from his heated caresses and from his breathless kisses, she could tell the fear was gaining ground.

And after that, Fear came with its most trusted soldiers: shame and anger. Ellie was trying her best to fight them off every time she could see them advance on her, but she seemed to be powerless against them as time went by. She was angry at herself for not being able to take the leap she desperately needed. And she was ashamed of not being able to control her own body, to understand it enough to be able to receive was Adrian was desperate to give her.

He was so sweet to her. So tender, so attentive, and so careful. She had never ever hoped to be touched and kissed the way Adrian did, nor hoped to hear her name whispered in adoration the way this selfless man did. She wanted nothing else but to yield to the liquid heat that was boiling in her limbs, and let Adrian carry her over the edge towards the unknown. She wanted to give herself to him entirely, let him see her bare in a way that no one had ever had. But every time she got close to that edge, she felt the tight grip of her conscious mind pulling her away from it, anchoring her down, making her aware of how exposed and vulnerable she was before him, resentment following straight after when realising how frustrating it must be for him to see her body refuse to trust his all the way.

“Look at me, Ellie”.

His voice was just a whisper in her ear, barely audible over the sounds of ruffling sheets and of her ragged breaths, but loud enough to pull her once more out of her head, back to him. Back to them.

She could not help but to smile sheepishly when her eyes met his, feeling her cheeks flush under his gaze, fully aware that Adrian had noticed when her restless brain had taken over. Pushing her forehead up to rest against his and closing her eyes in an attempt to hide the embarrassment that was starting to crawl over her, it startled her a little when his body shifted against her, his arms slipping around her torso to cradle her close as he lifted her smoothly from the mattress, bringing her thighs to rest on the top of his while he sat on his heels, knees sinking into the bed.

Somehow, their bodies had stayed in contact entirely, although he was not moving against her anymore. Instead, he started tracing slowly the lines of her jaw and of her cheek with the tip of his nose, bringing his hands to cup her face softly and gently make her look at him.

“It’s ok, Ellie. It’s just us.” His voice was low and soft, like a fantom caress she wanted to lean into. “There is nowhere else we need to be. Nowhere else I’d rather be. We’ve got all the time we want.”

Ellie had no idea how to respond, nor even if he was expecting her to. She simply nodded, letting the calm in his eyes appease her rattling heart as she was trying to clear her mind and focus her attention on him.

He pressed the slowest, softest, and gentlest kiss on her wet lips, before pulling away to capture her gaze once more. “There is no pressure here, Ellie. Just us. Just this. Right now”.

He kissed her once again, this time for a little longer, and with a little more weight to his lips. “I just want this to feel good for you. That is all.” Pressing his nose against hers, he muttered one last time: “I just want you to feel good”.

This time when she nodded silently, there was more truth in her eyes than when she had blindly nodded just a moment before.

When he returned his lips to hers, she responded immediately by letting her eyes close and her throat hum in surrender, opening her mouth to let him in, hoping she might be able to taste the remnants of his comforting words onto his tongue.

She felt shielded, protected by the feel of his arms brushing against hers as his hands started roaming along her back. His fingers were spread, his palms warm and sweaty, gliding along her spine as if counting and blessing each one of her back bones.

When she wrapped her arms more firmly around his shoulders, his kisses became suddenly more urgent, making her moan and writhe against him, sending her hips back and forward instinctively, making them both gasp at the suddenly renewed friction between them.

The groan he made and the hunger in his eyes were all she needed to send her self-conscious mind tumbling in the back on her head for now. She let her hips do all the work for her, tightening her grip against his thighs, barely aware of the gentle pressure of Adrian’s hand in her back that was guiding the slithering movement of her hips.

Raising herself higher and higher above him as she went, she was relishing the heat and sounds rushing out of his open mouth against her skin, right where he had buried his head in the crook of her neck. It was a weird sensation for her, with him so close but yet out of her direct sight, as if she were alone and with him at the same time, in two different parallel universes. As if to make sure he was really there while she arched and lifted herself above him, she moved her hands so that she could tangle her fingers into his hair, alternatively pulling and pressing his face away and against her pulsing point, not sure whether she needed him there or back against her parted lips. She was now completely driving the motion, Adrian’s arms only encapsulating her torso to keep her steady.

She could feel her pleasure climbing, climbing, climbing... the now more familiar pressure building inside her from the repeated friction of their joined bodies and from his skin burning against hers where she needed it the most. It felt like something was twisting in her guts, like a coil tightening with each movement, and threatening to snap at any moment. Feeling her limbs starting to tremble, her eyes suddenly shot open, desperately searching for Adrian’s, silently pleading for something that she was not sure to be able to voice.

When their eyes finally met as she tugged on his hair to bring his face against hers, she immediately found there the anchor that she was searching for. The reassurance and awe that she was craving for and that he knew she needed.

“It’s ok, it’s ok”, he hushed against her lips, letting his voice and the reassuring warmth of his heat wrap around her.

But the coils were still threatening to snap, and she could not help but to feel the panic surge through her once more, moving her head slightly from side to side as her throat finally allowed a few weak words to break free. “I can’t.... I can’t...It’s...”.

But he swallowed her words with the soft press of his mouth, urging her with his eyes to trust him.

But those coils... those coils... it felt like those were going to rip through her and blast her heart open. “I can’t...” she pleaded again, her voice rasped and breaking. “I need you... I need you to...”.

Bringing one of his hands to her face, he pressed his forehead against hers, never tearing his eyes away from her teary gaze: “What do you need me to do, love?”.

Aching and gasping, she finally collected enough air to force her last plea through her lungs, fighting the echo of her self-conscious mind trying to tell her otherwise. “I need you to do it... to get me there... I can’t...”.

And that was all Adrian needed to hear.

Collecting her in his arms as he had done mere minutes before, he let her wrap her legs around his hips before raising from his knees to gently move them back onto the mattress, the coolness of the bedsheets sending oddly comforting shivers down her spine as she felt her body sink into the bed under Adrian’s weight.

He did not allow her mind to wander into dangerous territory for even a second. His mouth was on hers and his hands were roaming along her sides and between her breasts in an interrupted dance, leaving no chance for fear, or anger, or shame, to settle back into her mind.

He was pressing in and out of her relentlessly, slowly at first, making sure that her eyes remained on him, watching closely for the signs that would show him that he was doing this right. That he was applying the right amount of pressure where she needed. That he was letting her time to adjust gradually to the length of him, carefully adjusting her shivering legs around him to make sure this felt as right for her as it felt for him.

His gaze was anchoring her in reality, although she felt her body slowly resume its climb, pleasure starting to build once more from every point of contact between their bodies, pushing her gradually higher and higher towards this terrifying edge like a dozen of flickering hands urging her forward.

Her grip in his hair was slippery, from his sweat as much as from hers, but she was refusing to let go.

As she arched her back beneath him unconsciously, he took the opportunity to shift a little above her and tilt her hips slightly, tearing a sudden cry of pleasure from her throat as one of his hand lifted her leg higher against his hip, reaching the point of no return where she felt him right where she needed him.

He knew he could not stop now, knowing that he had gotten her further than ever before, and that she had pleaded for him earlier to get her beyond that threshold that she had never managed to cross before. He felt burdened with that purpose, but yet could not help but to want to yield the way he had many times before when facing the shear weight of her teary eyes, the shakes of her limbs against his hold, and the thundering of her heartbeat ringing in his ears. But at the same time, the noises she made were driving him crazy, and he could tell from the slick wetness of her core that he could give her what she needed, right now. She just needed a little more from him so that she could let go.

Lurching forward to bury himself deeper within her, he swallowed her uncontrolled shriek of pleasure with his open mouth, trailing his lips all over her chin and her neck while increasing his pace gradually, whispering encouragements to her skin to keep her from drifting to that space that could pull her down too fast.

“You feel so good Ellie... Does it feel good for you?”

Although she could register his words, she could not formulate any articulate response other than biting her lip to muffle her moans, in an attempt to keep any bit of control that she had left.

That climb never seem to want to end, making her believe that she would surely see the edge in sight at any second, but the more she climbed the furthest she seemed to get from it. How much longer would she have to keep ongoing? She could not trust her limbs to carry her further anymore.

But he was here. Right with her. His breath against her lips acting like a reassuring hand pushing in the small of her back, securing her until she could see this edge. She was aware of each of his thrust and each of his groans, the slide of his skin against her reminding her that he was here for her. There. Right now. Ready to take that leap with her right by her side.

And there she finally saw it. The edge. The terrifying end of that climb that suddenly reminded her vividly what she had been so afraid of.

She felt her body being slowly dragged towards it, as if pulled by invisible strings to force her to gaze into the dark abyss of the unknown below. Would it hurt? Would it just feel like being freed? And what would be waiting for her down below? The darkness beyond that edge did not even seem to have an end to it. And it was calling for her.

She was right there. So close. Teetering right on the edge. Gaping at the abyss alone, but somehow reaching for Adrian blindly to make sure he would not let her take that leap alone. That dread and the overwhelming sensations in her limbs and her core were making her lungs ache with every ragged breath she took.

“Adrian...I...” she barely managed to mumble, her fingers slipping desperately in his hair as she was trying to bring his mouth to hers.

“It’s ok, love”, he whispered hoarsely against her lips, finding her eyes to bring her the reassurance that he knew she was begging of him. “You’re there... right there... just let go...”

Holding her breath for a few seconds, she finally closed her eyes to allow her body to yield to his command, letting her weak limbs dive from the edge.

The coil that had been twisting, and twisting, and twisting inside her finally snapped, releasing throughout her limbs that liquid heat that had been simmering in her core over the course of her endless climb.

His face. His voice. The scent of his sweat and of his skin. She let it all fill her mind as she came apart beneath him, reaping sounds from her that seemed nearly alien to her ears. She was gasping for air as she felt her entire being clench around him, pulling him against her more tightly that she had ever held onto anyone or anything before. Her lungs were burning, the moans escaping her shaking lips seeming to be as uncontrollable as the way her legs and her hips trembled against Adrian’s boiling skin.

Smiling against her lips, Adrian did his best to hold on as long as he could to help her descend from her high, marvelling at the sight of her features slowly relaxing in awe, any traces of apprehension now completely wiped from her perfect skin.

But the way her hips kept bucking with each of his thrust, and the mesmerizing sound of her voice whimpering his name against his skin, were enough to send him tumbling over the edge as well, arching between her legs and gripping her hip more tightly as he came undone with a growl.

Too weak to resist her pull any longer, he let his body collapse on top of hers, pressing a few soft, lazy kisses onto her mouth between ragged breaths, before sliding a little down her body to rest his head on her chest, taking in the full blast of her thumping heartbeat, the shivers that were coursing across her skin, and the sweet hum escaping her throat as she was gradually relaxing completely underneath him, absentmindedly massaging his scalp.

He did not need to see her face to know that she was smiling, grateful for everything he had given her just a moment before. He did not need to see it because he knew the same smile was now plastered on his face, as he was so grateful to her for trusting him enough to bring her there, and for taking that leap towards the unknown with him.

Tagging @adriansbiss , @itsjustwinter , @shanzay44 , @purvishraick, @thefrenchiemama

~~~

Thank you for reading! 🙂

If you liked it, any comment and/or reblog would mean a lot to me! (just to know if I need to stop writing all the random things that pop into my head! 😅)

Why did he have to come back here and plunge another knife into the wound had barely started to heal? Wasn’t she doing what he wanted? He wanted her to chase her dreams and get out in the world without him tying her back, and that was what she was forcing herself to do. That’s why she had decided to take a leap and try her luck away from America, on neutral ground. Why would he change his mind now that she was about to leave? Had he always expected her to remain in his midst, close enough so she would never forget him? Close enough for him to reach her if he ever changed his mind? Or had he been waiting for her to come back to him all along?

*Ellie… please… Please come home… I miss you*

The sound of Adrian’s voice from the other side of the door tore through her. It brushed aside the million questions that had been invading her head as it reminded her how defeated he had looked at her feet in the corridor just a few minutes before. It was such a clear contrast with the resignation that she had read in his eyes the night he had delivered the blow.

She had believed him when he had claimed that this decision had been difficult for him as much as for her, but somehow part of her had tried to convince herself that he did not want her as much as she wanted him. That he had known that she was in it deeper than he was, and had been kind enough to end it before she relied on him too much. He had never hinted as much, but to her, it made more sense and hurt a little less than to believe that he had been really willing to sacrifice what they had just to give her a chance at a normal, mortal life. He had claimed he wanted her safe. But safe from the dangers of supernatural beings, or safe from the heartbreak that he would inevitably cause her?

Now that he was here, begging for her to come back to him, she was even more lost than when he had left her with no hope to convince him to let her stay. Her entire body physically ached at the thought of Adrian waiting desperately for her to answer his plea. But the idea of facing him filled her with dread.

Would she be strong enough to push him away? Did she want to? Would she even be able to reason properly and decide what to do with him standing before her?

She could feel his presence behind her despite the wooden door separating them. It was heavy. It was familiar. It was tearing a hole through her chest at the thought that he might turn around and leave before she could hear what he had to say. She could not ignore him a minute longer.

Drawing a deep breath, she wiped the tears from her cheeks, straightened herself and fumbled with the lock with trembling hands, bracing herself as she slowly opened the door. The guilt and yearning that she found in his eyes the second their eyes met drew her breath away, as if she had taken a punch straight to her guts. As much as she had wanted him to hurt as much as she did, it was a sight that made it all even worse. God, she cared way too much for that man.

“Adrian, I…” she started feebly, not sure what she really wanted to say. “I don’t understand what you want from me… I did as you asked…”

His silence was terrifying. He did not seem able to move away from the door frame, staring at her in shock as if his earlier plea behind the door had stunned him as much as it had her. Or was he surprised that she had accepted to face him, one last time?

“Adrian, please…. You have to explain, I… I… what the hell do you want?”. She had aimed her last words to be sharp and assertive, but they only came out as a desperate whisper. That seemed enough to shake him from his trance.

Closing the space between them, he wrapped his arms around her without a word, cradling her against his chest so tightly that she thought he might crush her. He let out a heavy sigh, burying his nose in her hair and swaying them both gently from side to side, as if trying to shake a nightmare away. A nightmare that they had both shared and were desperately trying to wake up from.

Ellie wanted nothing more than to let him sooth that ache away and forget all about the past two months. She would have never thought that the feel of his body against hers and the scent of him surrounding her could have so much power, stronger than any balm, any medicine, or any drug that had ever been designed to relieve unbearable pain. She felt like she could just fall asleep right there, lulled by the vibrations of his heartbeat and by the way his chest was heaving against her ear with every dragged breath that he took.

“I am so sorry, Ellie…” he finally spoke, a soft whisper blowing through her hair.

*I am sorry*. Words that she had been craving to hear from his lips but that now sounded like a joke to her ears. No matter how good it felt to be in his arms again, she could not forget the pain and anger that had been eating her up for weeks because of him. She could not let him win her over like this so easily. She would never forgive herself if she did.

Pressing her palms flat on his chest, she gently pushed against him to force him to take a few steps back and let her look at him in the eyes.

“What are you sorry about, exactly?” she asked, her voice sturdier now that she felt confident enough to confront him. “Sorry that you pushed me away? Sorry that you hurt me? Or sorry that I am leaving because of you?”.

She could see the hurt flashing through his eyes at her words, although guilt was still masking his beautiful features painfully.

“I am sorry for all of it, Ellie.”. There was no hesitation in his voice. No lie and no false chivalry. She could tell that he was offering her the whole truth. “And I am sorry that I never left you a choice in this, that I assumed that I would know better what would be good for you… I was so wrong… so wrong…”.

He tried to reach for her, but she took a step back, wincing, and shaking her head slightly.

“What makes you think now that you were wrong? Has anything changed between now and the night you told me I needed to move out from your life? Am I any less mortal? Are you any less of a vampire? Is your life any less dangerous now?”.

Adrian looked like she had slapped him. Turning against him the arguments he had used to make her leave was the last thing she wanted to do, but she knew she had to. His words were engraved in her mind forever, and she was convinced that not even Scholar Jameson would be able to erase that from her memories. The words had burned so slowly and so bright through her skull throughout the past two months that they had become a truth that she had forced herself to accept.

“No, you’re right” Adrian conceded. “These things have not changed. There is still so much that I wish a life with me could not deprive you of, but… what changed is that I thought I could be strong for the both of us by letting you go, but… I was fooling myself… I cannot stand the idea of you moving away while I never really gave you a choice in this….”

“So…” she started tentatively, raising an eyebrow betraying her confusion. “This is about giving me back my right to choose? I could either go and start a new life somewhere else, or stay here and get back to you?”

Adrian nodded silently, letting the idea sink in her head.

Not having to make a choice had somehow made things easier for her before. She could not have done anything else but to move on. But now that he was here and offering her a way back to him, she was clueless about what to do. She felt raw, exposed, vulnerable. His piercing blue eyes seemed to be digging through her soul, trying to read her mind and to find the emotions she had been desperate to hide.

“What do you want Ellie?” he asked softly, raising a tentative hand towards hers to reach her cheek. “This is what I should have asked you from the start, and I am sorry I didn’t. So I am asking you now: what do you want to do, Ellie? What does your heart tell you to do?”

She closed her eyes, letting her cheek lean into his touch, forcing her breath to calm down to find the strength to finally pull out of her these words that she had wanted to say for so long. “Adrian, I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

She felt her body weaken at her admittance, feeling more vulnerable and exposed than ever before now that her heart was on display before him, bare and beating erratically in despair.

As if knowing this, Adrian instantly wrapped his other arm around her waist to pull her back against him, preventing her from seeing the reaction on his face, but allowing her to feel him tremble against her, and to hear his heartbeat mirror the irregular pattern of hers.

But she could not stand the silence. Nor could she stop the flow of thoughts and doubts that now seemed to want to pour out of her soul now that her love for him was all out in the open.

“Maybe you were right, Adrian.” She whimpered against his collarbone, repressing the urge to cry at the realisation that Adrian’s doubts and worries had now taken siege in her mind like weeds with ever-growing roots. “Maybe us was all too much, all too soon…. I don’t…. I think it would just consume me if I stayed and then you changed your mind and pushed me away again….”.

She felt Adrian jerk against her, his hold on her tightening dangerously as she heard him swallow painfully. “I won’t… I promise…”. His voice was rough, nearly strangled, betraying the emotions that were clearly overtaking him.

“How do you expect me to believe that?” she insisted, blocking her tears by burying her eyes into his shirt as deep as she could. “The situation is the same… nothing has changed… you think that now because you think irrationally but… we both know your doubts will never truly go away…”.

For a moment she thought he had stopped breathing, his hand in her neck tightening to the brink of pain, and his face sinking at the top of head as if he was trying to smother his breath in her hair. When he finally relaxed and released his hold to bring trembling hands around her head, there was nowhere left for him to hide his tears as he leaned to rest his forehead against hers.

“I will never push you away again… I promise… I don’t think I could even if I wanted to…” he breathed against her lips, his tears now falling freely from his lashes to her cheeks, a vivid testimony of the truth behind his words.

Bringing her hands to frame his face, she gently stroked her thumbs against his wet skin, before tentatively pushing forward to get closer to his lips, close enough to feel their shaking breaths mingle and their damp eyelashes brush each other’s skin.

“Please don’t cry”, she murmured with a feeble smile. “I can’t stand to see you cry”.

When their mouths finally met, it was the most gentle and careful caress that she had ever experienced. It was like discovering the softness of his skin for the very first time, and the way he moved against her felt like he was exploring every inch of her lips one at a time, as if trying to draw a map so that he could never forget his way back to them.

Their kisses were short, a little weak and breathless, the salt of their tears gradually invading their mouths as they could not refrain from caressing each other’s skin, smearing the wet trails of their tears with their fingertips.

This felt so familiar and yet so foreign, the intensity of what she felt threatening to make her crumble at his feet if he ever released his hold on her. Would she ever be able to reason and think straight when she was in his arms? In this moment, she did not care. All she wanted was to relish every breath, every shiver, and every tremor coursing through him, pressing her body as close to him as she could to let him feel how much her love for him was possessing her.

“Ellie...” he whispered against her lips between two kisses, his gaze betraying the exhaustion he felt from everything that just happened, but filled with a softness that seemed to wrap her like the softest fabric that could ever be made. “You have no idea how much I love you and how much I missed you...”.

If she had dared to doubt his words, his next kiss would have proved her otherwise, as she felt his entire being shake with relief and the tension instantly leave his bones, as if these unspoken words had been a burden that he would not have been able to carry any further. His warm lips had captured hers avidly, hungrily, gentle but yet urging and demanding, roaming and pressing against hers as he was relinquishing the last remaining bit of restraint that had been holding him back.

Ellie was gasping for breath but she did not care. She was blinded by the raw emotions that were washing over her in the darkness of the room. Mere minutes before, it had been like she was being slowly dragged underwater, weakened and bared by her admission that she loved him. Now, it felt like she had finally been yanked out of the terrifying depths by the strength of a few words, Adrian’s confession filling her lungs like the air she had been gasping for.

“I missed you so much”, he kept repeating between kisses, unable to stay still or silent anymore, and probably eager to make sure she believed his promises to never push her away again. “I missed you so much, please... come home with me”.

Staring into his eyes as she was finally able to steady herself and catch her breath, she could not repress the smile that was starting to form on her lips at the sight his beautiful dishevelled face, love, warmth and tenderness finally finding their place back in her chest after weeks of being forbidden to take a seat too close to her heart.

She was not entirely sure yet what she was going to do with her choice, but she surely could not ignore what she felt for Adrian anymore. Tonight, they had laid the shattered pieces of their hearts at their feet, and picked up the largest pieces, hand in hand, willing to start putting them back together one at a time. Whether they could mend their hearts together, side by side, or whether they would have to do this alone, was something that only time would tell. But for now....

“I am home”, she simply answered his request, her voice soft and calmer now, her eyes darting across his face to take in all of the tiny perfections and imperfections she had missed so much. “Stay with me, please, Adrian... Stay with me tonight”.

~~~~~

N/A: Thank you again Anon for the prompt, and thank you for anyone who read it all the way! This segment is far from over, so more should come soon, hopefully!

If you liked it, any comments and/or reblogs would be deeply appreciated! J

~~~~~

Tagging @adriansbiss , @itsjustwinter , @shanzay44 , @purvishraick, @thefrenchiemama

She had never returned to the office, simply going through HR to submit her resignation officially. She had not requested any recommendation letter from Raines corp., nor contacted the business partner he had referred her to. She had kept under his radar as best as she could, although he always managed to get fragments of information about how she was doing from Lily, albeit involuntarily. And that was through her that he had found out: Ellie was planning to leave. Not only New York, but leaving the country altogether. She had applied for several junior executive assistant positions and internships in Europe, asking Kamilah for references to avoid having to ask anything of him.

Until that point he had managed to put a brave face on and bury himself into work to avoid rehashing the past. But somehow, knowing that Ellie was about to go, and that she did not want him to know about it, widened that painful hole in his chest that did not seemed to want to stitch itself up, despite his efforts over the past 72 nights and days.

Knowing that she could board a plane and leave NY behind at any minute was slowly threatening to drive him mad.

He could not sleep. Nor concentrate at work. Attempting to feed somehow made everything worse, as if any blood that was not hers would only act as a poison to his system. He was not sure anymore whether it was hurt, longing or guilt that was making every breath burn in his lungs, although the hatred he could see so clearly in his own eyes when he stared at himself in the mirror was a constant reminder that he had brought this onto himself. And onto her. As well as onto their friends.

His rash decision and obsession for ‘doing the right thing’ had forced Ellie’s hand and had deprived her of the freedom of choosing her path for herself. Her freedom to keep on building over the foundations of the life that she had started when she had left her hometown to conquer New York. Her freedom to continue nurturing the friendships she had gained when she had stormed into his life and had effortlessly earned her place within his world. He had failed to realise that his decision would force her to slowly walk away from all of this. He could see it clearly now, and he knew he should have realised this sooner.

He knew her well enough to know that she would not want to stand by while he had pushed her out the door. He had known when making his decision that she would be hurt and would likely stay away. And he would be lying to himself if he did not admit that he had hoped she would, to make it easier for him to stay away from her. He realised now how wrong he had been. And how badly he needed her to know this.

He needed to apologise. He needed her to see the guilt in his eyes and the longing in his bones. He needed to make it right. And he could not let these 72 nights and days without seeing her extend to 73.

Fidgeting around his penthouse while waiting for the sun to set, Adrian could not bring himself to do more than ruminate over everything he had ever said to her, and everything he should have said but never did, trying to carefully choose the words he would finally voice out loud when he would get to her. But his mind was restless, and the guilt and doubts were gnawing at his guts.

This torment had to stop. It was too much. And it was pointless. He would always be drawn back to her as long as there would still be hope to make it right. It was inevitable.

He would just lay it all out – his regrets, his doubts, his fears, and his heart -, and would let her crush it all under her heel if she wanted to. He owed her that much.

The minute the skyline was clear of any sunray, he barged out and headed straight towards Lily’s and Ellie’s. By the time he has reached their building, he knew even before knocking on the door that no one was home, the deafening silence of the apartment, devoid of any heartbeat, hitting him as soon as he had stepped onto their floor.

He pondered for a moment going to the Shadow Den where he knew Lily was now staying more often than not, thinking that Ellie might have gone along with her. But he could not bring himself to leave the building. Her scent was all around, seeping through the door like smoke from a fire creeping through his nostrils to invade his lungs. His hand laid flat against the wood, he leaned in so that his forehead could rest beside it, closing his eyes to focus on the comforting smell, hoping that he could somehow be able to also taste it in the air. The familiarity of this place and of her lingering fragrance were both soothing and maddening, the absence of her comforting heartbeat pushing onto his shoulders as if the ceiling of the empty corridor was slowly descending onto him to push him to his knees.

Letting his legs give in under the imaginary pressure, he let his body slide slowly against the door until his body had reached the ground, resting his back against the wood and bending his knees so that he could brace his arms around them, ready to wait for her as long as necessary. He had wasted 72 days and 72 nights when he could have made things right and perhaps avoid most all of this suffering. He could wait 72 more on this floor if he had to.

After a couple of hours that seemed to have lasted an eternity, Adrian was not sure anymore whether the familiar heartbeat that was chiming in his head was real or was the product of his anxious brain. He had been convinced he had heard it a dozen times earlier, but had quickly realised that his anticipation had been playing tricks on his mind. This time, he was not ready to gaze around and realise he had been wrong once more. He even ignored the sound of footsteps echoing around the corridor, convinced it was another one of her neighbours that would freak out at the sight of him crouched on the floor like the desperate fool that he was.

But when the footsteps suddenly stopped on the floor, he instantly recognised the muffled sound of her voice as she gasped in surprise, making him jump as his senses immediately tuned in to capture her presence.

The sight of her made his stomach clench, relief rushing through him in a wave, followed almost instantly by doubt and worry as he could read the shock in her eyes and in the way her body had stopped dead in her tracks, stiff and unwilling to move any further. Her heartbeat was racketing in his ears, and he could see her throat tighten as she seemed to gulp with difficulty.

“Adrian? What...”, she finally managed to mutter, her voice rasped as if she had not had a drop of water in days.

“Ellie, I...” he quickly started, doing his best to collect himself and raise himself back onto his feet, but unsure anymore what he should say now that she was finally standing in front of him.

They stared at each other across the corridor for a minute that seemed to stretch beyond days, the air nearly electric between them, threatening to catch ablaze if one of them dared to breach the stillness that seemed to have trapped both of them in an invisible net.

He heard her breath catch in her throat before her sweet voice finally broke the silence, somehow both cold and gentle: “What are you doing here, Adrian? Did anything happen?”.

He shook his head, struck by the genuine concern in her voice.

“No, I just...” the words were caught in his throat, in his chest and in his head, all bumping against each other before he could brace himself and find the strength to concentrate and voice the words that had been fogging his brain for days: “I heard that you were leaving New York... leaving the country... and I… I couldn’t let you go like this”.

Adrian felt his stomach sink with a thud at her reaction. Not that he had expected any reaction in particular, but he surely was not ready to see her shake her head with a chuckle, with something that could nearly pass as contempt flashing briefly in her eyes.

Her voice was strangely flat and composed when she simply retorted: “I though that was what you wanted?”.

Adrian shook his head, taking a few stumbling steps towards her. “Yes but… Ellie I… I never meant…”

“Adrian, don’t!”, she briskly interrupted, sighing loudly and suddenly starting to rummage rapidly through her bag to search for her keys. She was avoiding his eyes, and was making it clear that she did not want to hear anything else from him.

“I don’t have time for this right now”, she added, walking quickly passed him to reach for her door, her keys slightly shaking in her hands.

Adrian had barely had the time to step aside to let her through, torn between the will to let her be - as she was making clear she wanted him to -, and the aching need in the pit of his stomach to tell her everything he had come there to say. Once she unlocked the door, she quickly rushed inside without glancing back to him, obviously eager to get away from a conversation that she did not want to have with him. And how could he blame her?

It took all of his might not to stop her from closing the door on him, and not to reach out to touch her, cup her face in his hands, and press his words of apologies onto the soft silk of her skin. He would have dropped to his knees and buried his face against her womb in the hope that, somehow, his words might reach her more deeply that way. But that was not what she wanted. And for once, he had to respect that. Even if that meant staring blindly at the door, his nose pressed so hard against the wood that it hurt, listening to her erratic heartbeat pressed inches away on the other side as she was leaning against the door, as if to prevent him from trying to force it open.

Adrian did not know what else to do. He could simply tell her everything right now through the door, knowing that she was still there and would certainly hear it all. Even if he could not see her face, he would be able to grasp her reactions using his other senses, for her body had always been an open book for him to read as soon as she had trusted him with her heart. But he felt that all of his words would just sound hollow to both of them, and would nearly bounce back against the door frame before they could reach her.

His palms pressed flat against the door, his eyes closed, and his lips inches away from the wood, he took in a long shaky breath, steadying himself for the only plea he knew could ring true in this moment despite the thick, wobbly whisper that he managed to push through his lungs:

“Ellie… please… Please come home… I miss you”.

She was still there, on the other side, and she had heard him. He knew it from the way she had stopped breathing for a second, and from the distinct salty fragrance of the tears that were probably now smearing her features, reaching his sensitive nose and making his chest tighten with the realisation that he was powerless to stop them on their course as he had done in the past.

He had thought that nothing could ever be worse than those past 72 days and 72 nights staying away from her, guilt and doubts nagging at his heart. But he had been so wrong. The uncertainty, in this moment, of whether that dreadful count would end now, or would continue over months – even years -, was unbearable. He had laid his cards at her feet, and was ready to bare his heart before her if she wanted him to.

But for now, all he could do was to feel her warmth through the door, and wait. Wait.

Wait 72 seconds.

72 minutes.

72 nights, days, months, or years.

He would wait 72 centuries if that was what it took for her to come home to him.

~~~~~

N/A: Sorry for the angst and drama, and sorry for letting it hang like that in the air! What happens next should come shortly, now that I will be alternating between the fluff/smut from Arc I (i.e. ‘pre-break-up’) and the more angsty pieces from Arc II (i.e. post-break-up’). I will try to make it clear every time which Arc I am using and where we stand in the AU chronology, but I hope it won’t be too confusing!

Thank you for reading! 😊

~~~~~

Adrian's chest tightened, as he saw the light slowly leaving her eyes, "No no no no no please!! Don't leave me Eve! Not like this!" He didn't know he had been screaming, as her bloodied hand -her hand covered in her own blood- lightly stroked his cheeks, trying to wipe away his tears.

"You saved us... you saved all of us Eve. But you can't die— I can't lose you." He pressed his forehead against hers, as she winced in pain, her body shivering under his touch, slowly growing cold.

"I don't... want to... leave you." She coughed, blood gurgling out of her mouth, as he held her more tightly, his clothes stained in her blood as she felt her life being sucked out of her.

"Adrian... don't let go of me... I m cold... really really cold..." her tears mixed with the blood below her lips as Adrian's arms stayed around her, her head pressed to his chest. And suddenly, her eyes were nothing but numb and lifeless.

Sweat dripped from his forehead as forced himself up, wanting to run away from the nightmare forever. He never really needed to breathe to live, but the way it had been shallow, his chest heaving in sweat and restlessness contradicted any magic or biology.

He realized his face had been covered with tears, his shirt wet with the same tears and sweat, as he fumbled for the glass of water beside the bed. His hands trembled in the search, when suddenly he heard the falling of water, and eventually, the glass shattering beside the table.

He shook himself, pulling back from the startle of the sound, when he felt a hand at his down of his back, a voice that quickly made his worries and fear go away, "Adrian?"

The sound of glass shattering had awoken her, as she saw him breathing heavily, his heart drumming inside his chest. She took a sharp breathe, immediately sitting up, to make sure if he had been alright.

"Eve? Is that you?" He asked, not turning to her, as if afraid that he might just be imagining it, because she had been too tired to wake up before.

Her brows knitted together, "Yes it's me... who else would it be?" Every word she uttered had been careful. She had seen him like this before, suddenly waking up at nights, drinking water, holding her tightly, and falling back to sleep. But he never mentioned what really happened. Always finding excuses to avoid to talk about it.

Her fingers grazed his shoulder, giving him the space to recover himself, as he finally caught her hand in his, holding it tightly while a sigh escaped him.

Evelyn shifted closer to him, rubbing his back soothingly, as he finally turned to look at her. The emerald eyes she held so much in... he wondered, if she ever felt tired of dealing with him? The concerned gaze he felt on himself had been as real as the seven wonders. Why does she even put up with him? He wasn't worthy of that, was he?

His throat constricted, as he felt another sob reaching to him. Avoid it. Try to hide it. But she was sitting right beside him, arm wrapped around him.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to tell me Adrian. Come, let's go back to sleep." She carefully looked at him, her heart aching at the sight of him like that. She wasn't new to his vulnerability, she made him vulnerable, but watching him be afraid of the unknown, so many times... her heart clenched, when she felt she couldn't be of more help.

He brought her palm to his lips, kissing it deeply, as is eyes shut close to completely inhale her. Reassure him. That yes, she was here. By his side. And not dead.

She rested her chin on his shoulder, a small smile hovering on her lips, but the light of it denied to reach her eyes, "You'll never leave me Eve, will you?" His voice had been soft... and more broken than she had ever heard. The words... they gave away. They gave away what he had been dealing with.

Words weren't enough for Eve to calm him down. She knew that worry. There were so many times she had been haunted by her own death. Sometimes, even the possibility of losing him. But they had gone through so much together, fought for each other, sacrificed for each other... these things never go away without any loose ends. Fear.

Evelyn shifted in front of him, slowly crawling on the bed, until their knees were pressed together. She cradled his face in her hands, as his grey eyes finally put up the courage to meet her emerald ones. "Know this Adrian, you are not going to get rid of me anytime soon."

The response made a chuckle escape him, as a held back tear started trailing his cheek. She pushed herself onto his lap, as he lightly wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close to him, the familiar sensation making his heart beat like a drum. His blood rushed to his face, as warmth coursed within both of them.

"What if they try to take you away from me?" His voice trembled again, his grip on her tightening a little. She looked at him, leaning in and kissing the crook of his neck, her breathe soothing instead of tickling his skin, "Let them try, we'll fight 'em off together."

Every word uttered in the sentence made a smile crawl up to his lips, "Please just... don't leave me." The tears were unstoppable, as he buried his face in her chest, her arms immediately wrapping around the back of his neck, while she kissed the top of his head, "I won't."

Both of them laid back on the bed, Adrian's head resting against Eve's chest, while she kept her arms wrapped around him, her legs falling on his hips.

He held her firmly by his side, still a little afraid that she might just disappear, but she won't. She challenged life right in it's eyes, the look screaming 'try to hurt him again, and you'll bring your own doom upon yourself.'

------------------

Thankyou for reading!

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Life wasn't always like this for her. She was a woman of taste. Family money had been one thing, but she was always trying so hard. So hard to not be the spoilt brat. So hard to not be the one who got everything but still whined. Yet, here she was. Sitting at Starbucks in the middle of the afternoon.

Obviously she had a partime job, at the bookstore. There was no limit to her being a nerd, and she was very very proud of it. No questions asked. But it had been a Monday, and the store owner had been on a vacation, leaving her to do nothing except be with her work in progress drafts.

She got herself a devil's shake (chocolate iced coffee) sipping it slowly, as the ice and water that covered the glass, melted on the table, under the drink. Her pen stuck against her forehead, as she reread her last line again and again. There was no inspiration. The publishers she had found after going through so many difficulties, had a deadline. There had to be something that inspired her. But so far... no luck.

"What are you gonna do hun? Any progress?" Sal looked over at Eve in concern, then darting his expressions to the empty café. Eve sighed, knowing that this was going to be a waste of time.

"Just for another hour? I'll get out of your hair then."

Sal left her to herself, as she pushed herself into her own pit of agony and frustration. Still no inspiration.

The creak of the door opening caught her attention, as a pale man entered the café, his brow ceased with sweat, while his body had been covered in a perfectly tailored grey suit. He looked very familiar for one moment, but Eve couldn't get herself to care more for it, trying to get her focus back to her.

"Hello! I hope it won't be too much trouble to get me an iced coffee with whipped cream, a little quickly please?" The stranger's voice had been rushed, as he hissed inside the phone that had been stuck at his ear. He didn't look much old. Probably 27 or 28. But the way he sounded, it was a mature feeling. He knew what he was doing.

Eve once again snapped back her attention to her notebook, suddenly too self conscious of how she looked, her cheeks probably darker than her skin. There were three people in the café, one was in uniform, the other was in a crisp suit and here she was... siting in her 'I love NYC' T-Shirt and ripped jeans.

Her dark brown locks rested at her chest, dangling a little as she picked up her drink for another sip. She wasn't hearing the stranger's voice anymore, where did he go? She turned once again, finding him standing at the glass window beside her table, into his own thoughts. Whatever rush he was in before seemed to disappear.

She took out her phone, a bit procrastinating never harmed anyone. But neither had she contacts to call, nor any social life to look at. She opened her pinterest, going around, looking for writing prompts that may or may not inspire her to make at least a teensy amount of progress.

“Excuse me?”

The sound sent a shiver down her spine, making her startle, as the eerie silence was suddenly broken by the stranger in the suit.

“Yes?” She turned, finally getting a proper look at his face. Grey eyes. A storm. Tousled brunette hair. Honeycombs. Sharp jaw. A dagger. The words of description filling Eve’s thoughts, and this was just one look.

“Will it be alright if I sit with you?” He smiled politely, the curves of his lips seeming to bright up the afternoon even more. A light flutter in the stomach made Eve look away, “Yeah, sure.”

“Thankyou.” Another polite reply. She had assumed him to be some sort of millionaire jerk, with the suit, and the perfect hair, but the way he talked to her, and Sal, contradicted her assumptions. Great. It was going to be more difficult to focus with a hot stranger sitting across her.

She sighed, taking another sip of her drink, the coldness completely intensifying in her dry throat, making her cough. Obviously. Embarrassment always followed hot strangers.

It was a tiny cough. Saved it. Sal brought the stranger his ordered coffee, while looking at Evelyn with a mischievous and excited look. The ridges of her brow collided, taking in his look, “Ms. Claire, would you like something else?” Sal grinned. The last name bringing a wide look in the stranger’s eyes.

“Claire?” He looked at her, a small smirk on his lips, as his eyes suddenly studied her. Eve shrugged, throwing Sal a glare, “No, nothing for now, thank you. Though we do need to talk.”

He gave her a two figured salute, going back behind the counter.

She rubbed her forehead, stealing another look of the stranger, who kept his eyes darted away with the same smirk she had seen before.

“I am Adrian Raines. CEO of Raines Corp.” He offered his hand in greeting, as if starting fresh.

Eve looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow, and suddenly realising why he looked so familiar! He was the billionaire science guy whose face had been printed on every magazine.

“Adrian Raines, Generation Inspiration! Self-made CEO at 28!”

“Raines Corp. reigning over the share market!”

“Raines Corp. Officially declaring partnership with Claire Enterprises!”

He had been one of her mother’s business partners. And here she thought she would make a friend for the first time in a while.

“I am Evelyn. CEO of not giving a fuck about my mom’s business.” She gave him a smile, not shaking his hand. It hadn’t been a warm one, but wasn’t a rude one either.

The response earned a soft laugh from Adrian, as he looked at her side, the notebook and pens wide open, with her half-finished coffee. “Don’t worry, I am not here to butter you up to get a pay raise from your mom, just a struggling businessman having coffee in afternoon.” He snarked back at her, the laugh dying with a smile.

Adrian looked at her, something different hitting about the way she wasn’t intimidated by him like everyone else. Her green eyes had been shining emerald under the sunlight. Making him feel as though something changed inside of him.

“So, Evelyn, you’re a writer?”

“Kinda. Sorta. Maybe.” She shrugged with a sad smile, her eyes pinned to her empty draft page. She sighed, looking at Adrian. There was something about his eyes, the way they looked like they were carrying the burden of a thousands, but still managing to shine like stars. The smile on his lips seemed so honest. Unlike the other people who ever approached her.

“Oh, you’re having trouble with it?” Adrian leaned forward a little, resting his elbows on the table between.

“Which writer doesn’t?” She laughed at his mentioning of the obvious. He hadn’t heard anyone laughing so openly around him, suddenly thinking when was the last time he just made a genuine connection with anyone.

“True. I hope you figure it out soon.” He sipped his coffee, his eyes never leaving her, catching her every movement. “I hope so too… it gets a little frustrating, with so many ideas in my head, but no words. Just feelings. But I’ll figure it out.”

“I have a feeling that you always figure it out.” He smiled at her self-mocking chuckle, the pen between her fingers twitching lightly, “Maybe.”

“Writing is a beautiful art. I always wished I was good at it, but the maximum I can do is read. With all the work.” Adrian sighed, looking away a little, seeing the silence they both had been thrilling under. “I wish I could relate. This is my work. Heh.” She crossed her legs under the table, leaning forward.

Adrian laughed once again, the sound of it felt like healing the bits and pieces in her mind. The clock struck 5pm inside the café as Adrian frowned a little. People started entering as he stood up.

He offered his hand, helping her stand up. She didn’t think twice, intertwining her fingers with his, standing from her seat. She collected her things. They both knew the silence was gone, the little space they had found for a while, finally filling up.

Both of them stood outside, the air cooling down a little, rustling in Eve’s hair, as she looked at him with a smile.

“It was nice to meet you Adrian.”

“Likewise Evelyn. I hope we can continue our conversation soon.” He grinned. His eyes earnest. Their gazes met, an unsaid connection forming between them, as Eve felt her heart beating a little faster. She knew he was asking her out. But she liked playing hard to get, a little too much.

“We’ll see about that.” She smirked, making blood rush to Adrian’s cheeks as he laughed, both of them parting their ways. Adrian’s smile not wavering all day, while Eve couldn’t help but write about it. Her feelings finding words, as her mind kept reminding her of him.

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Thankyou so much for reading, I hope Adrian didn't feel OOC 🤔 I enjoyed writing this very much.

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