Coming soon. LifeofLex.com #blog #life #travel #food #domestic #gypsy #girl #LifeofLex
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@lexxi1309
Coming soon. LifeofLex.com #blog #life #travel #food #domestic #gypsy #girl #LifeofLex

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I just want somebody who will never stop choosing me.
A.G. (via blunting)
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2015.
RESOLUTION: a formal expression of opinion or intention made, a firm decision to do or not to do something
move. anywhere, preferably far away, or closer to work.
paint more.
create a physical documentation of my travels.
put my phone down. leave it at home.
be alone.
get at least two more stamps in my passport.
pay off my student loan
complete a half marathon
road trip
further my career with Goldwell
learn to macrame
learn to play bass
continue to collect moments
yoga daily
drink more tea
take a class
make time to read
go whale watching
quit binge drinking
get another tattoo
be more frugal
make sure the people i love know how much i appreciate them
continue to explore blogging- if anything to organize my own thoughts
continue not to follow
let go of things that no longer serve me
be fearless
grow up but not old
have a freaking shark party
live in the moment
let go of control
continue to laugh at myself constantly
stop worrying about expectations society has in place
be a goober
be healthy
learn to garden
stay organized
try something new every month
promote myself
what you think, you become what you feel, you attract what you imagine, you create. -Buddha

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The smell of hospitals in winter And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls All at once you look across a crowded room To see the way that light attaches to a girl
Counting Crows
http://lexxi1309.tumblr.com/post/106201454987/so-this-is-christmas
so this is christmas..
What's that cheesy quote? "Day to day nothing changes, but looking back nothing is the same." Or whatever. I guess it's the truth. Year to year everything IS so different. I just think back to christmas' past and what were priorities, who was there, even how I felt. I'm so afraid of change. But I know it's inevitable. It's like a war in my mind. Fear of the unfamiliar? Fear of making mistakes? Missing opportunity? Missing people I'm close to? But I want change. I want more than I have now. I want to grow up, but not grow old. I want to make a difference. I want it all, but in the most selfless way. I'm constantly looking for purpose or hidden explanations of why life is... well life. The only manifesto I can repeat: Let it be. I understand this, and I believe it, so why is it a struggle? I'm a giver. A helper. A fixer. Lex. Let it be. I'm gonna reflect on what I wish I had let be, let go. Then I'm gonna do exactly that. 1. family Can't choose them. Gotta love em. My family is one of the most important things to me. I've definitely gotten lost and strayed, but guess who's there always waiting with open arms? I never believed that whole "blood is thicker than water" sludge, but it seems to look that way. I just want what's best for them, for them to be happy, successful. I need to realize, that is not my job to create that for themselves. I can be their biggest supporter, but I can't live their life for them. 2. work Work is supposed to be a place you go to make a paycheck then come home and live your life. I am so passionate about what I do, I can't leave it. I am constantly subconsciously thinking about hair. I want to support my salon, I want to see it grow and flourish. But I want more. I want to explore all of the opportunities I am capable of taking. I don't want to miss out on anything. Life unfortunately is full of choices and as indecisive as I can be I need to choose which fork in the road I want to take at that time. Whatever I feel in that moment, I need to be at peace with. Let it be. 3. travel I want to see the world. More than anything. I want to experience it and all it has to offer. I want the culture. I also want to live somewhere else. Being in lake county ohio my whole life hasn't given me the depth I want. I've always been comfortable. I don't want regret. Should I stay or should I go now? 4. men Eerr... boys. I love being independent. I love having the ability to do what I want when I want without having to answer to anyone. So why is it that I feel like I'm supposed to be WITH someone. Beside the idea of procreation we really don't "need" to be in a relationship. Actually, we don't need to be committed for that. Baha. I guess I just love my life and want to share it with someone. I have close friends and I love sharing experiences and memories with them, so why isn't that enough? You don't need to be committed to be intimate. You don't need commitment to engage intellectually. So what is it really? Is it what society says? Personally, when I share a moment (with anyone) I want to believe that it is unique and special to a connection I have. Hahhaha. Real life? Hopeless romantic? I don't believe in jealousy. I don't think that jealousy is an attractive trait. I also don't believe it is a necessary one. The contradiction between what I say is confusing to myself. Maybe struggling with who I want to be, and my normal emotions? I need to let it be. I just turned this into a diary entry.
“Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go.”
Lisa St Aubin de Terán (via travelingilove)

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You can't have a cold heart in sunny California.
The most freeing feeling in the world is planning a getaway. No matter where my destination, I am in love with the thrill of leaving my routine to explore the unknown. I love being lost somewhere beautiful and strange. When you're not sure where you are going, or if you will ever get back home. When you are your only resource and you just took a bus 20 miles in the wrong direction and ended yourself in "Little Ethiopia."
Yes that exists.
I probably can't afford to travel. I'm not sure I will ever be able to "afford" anything. Discount flights, hostels, public transportation. But, that's the part of traveling I love. The exploration.
Going to a place you have never been before is eye opening. Its sensory overload, magical, a high in itself. I want to see everything there is to see. There is always the question, "Will I ever step foot in this exact spot ever again?"
And when you do...
For the past two years I have gone to California. The first time I went was a lot of "firsts" for me. First time away from home. First flight. First "big girl job" trip. First time to the ocean.
I have always had a lot of expectations for California. My dad had lived there as a child, and with that I was hooked before I even knew what it meant to leave Ohio. Being a daddys girl, I loved the stories I was told about the ocean, piers, people of Cali, Hollywood sign. It was where I wanted to be. My dad even had his surfboard in the garage growing up. Scottys always been a bad ass.
Needless to say, California definitely delivered. I cried the whole way on my first flight. I was 21, blubbering like a baby, chest rash and all. As soon as I stepped off that plane...I was hooked. The heat, the smell,I felt home. Last year I had decided to take a solo trip to Cali. Figured I had a crazy year, why not reflect and find myself 3000 miles away from home? So i booked a flight from Cleveland to Los Angeles and a returning flight from San Diego home to Cleveland. I had planned an "Eat, Pray, Love," self discovery vacation. I felt brave. About a month later my best friend went through a break up with a boy she had been with for six years. She was in need of some "Eat, Pray, Love." She booked this flight, one month after me, and there was one seat left. The one directly next to me. Isn't it ironic? Goosebumps, right? So, back to business. The moment I stepped back onto the Santa Monica Pier, staring into that endless ocean with the warm never ending summer sun, is where I made my self discovery. To be there, made me remember the feeling I had the time before. There is where I reflected on my growth. I felt a year wiser, but younger at heart.
It really makes you realize how much can change in something as short as one year. Everyday being stuck in your same boring monotonous routine, everything seems to never change. This is why every year I plan to go back to California for my birthday. Who doesn't need sun in January. The beginning of the year, get out of the snow, a fresh start to my new age.
This is the perfect time to reflect. Five weeks from today I will begin again. And it can't arrive soon enough.
"She was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world."
Kate Chopin, "The Awakening"
what is life.
what is life?
this is a question i am constantly asking myself over and over again. it is insanely unreal how coincidental life can be. this may be a result of overthinking. or giving purpose where purpose is irrelevant..
regardless.
im lex. alexia. almost 24.
motivated, driven, passionate. cynical. critical. hopeless romantic, i spend my days chemically creating beauties. color is my life. but not my purpose…still undecided.
i love a good book, yet can’t find time to read. i am messy, in the most organized fashion. i would rather wear leggings over anything. ‘cept maýbe no pants. nothing is better than nopants. blue is great. nothing feels better than purchasing a plane ticket, the feeling of take off is invigorating. i want to see the world, the ocean inspires me. i want to go to space. i never shut up, and i cant stop singing. i am embarrassed to say my cellphone rarely leaves my hand. yoga can heal anyone. this i am sure. wine. tequila. sushi. maybe buttered noodles and hot dogs if were being real. my baby brothers are my life. even though one time they told me to ask for a new laugh for Christmas. as hard as i try to be a Tar Black Soul Bad Bitch ill always be the nice girl who is basically a perfect Martha Stewart/Betty Crocker combo. i get by with a little help from my friends. you may say i’’m a dreamer, but i’’m not the only one. oops i did it again, someone once told me i was really great at being single. compliment or not… debatable, nostalgic for the 1990’s, i would parent trap my parents at any time if possible, i have a kitten. her name is Brodie, she is a girl. i am an open book with plenty of opinions. this is it.

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A huge part of being a feminist is giving other women the freedom to make choices you might not necessarily make yourself.
Lena Dunham in one of 12 brilliant new advice videos (via micdotcom)