(:

The post is based on a Super Bowl commercial, which itself was based on a Reddit post that’s never been verified as true. 

There is no actual pizza code with toppings and shit that dispatchers are trained in. If you come across someone who has heard of the commercial, they might understand. If you come across someone who’s never heard of it, they might think it’s a prank call and hang up on you.

A piece of actual advice to help you in this situation is to dial 911, then hang up without speaking, then turn the phone off. 911 will attempt to call you back, and when they’re unable to reach you, they’ll dispatch a unit to your location under the assumption that you need help and your call was interrupted. This will work 100% of the time, whereas the pizza trick will only work if the dispatcher has heard of the commercial/urban legend.

in my center, when we receive a 911 call from a cell phone, we do not automatically know your exact location. it doesn’t work like that, contrary to popular belief. the only thing we know for sure is the address of the cell phone tower your phone is connected to. cell phone towers cover huge areas, you could be anywhere in that huge area. if you absolutely can’t talk at all, if you can’t even hold the phone to your face, enable the speakerphone and start crying, or yelling, or even whispering, if you can.

also, as i said in my last reblog, most 911 centers in the US these days have text-to-911 capability. can’t call 911? text 911! it’s as simple as that. just be sure to include your address/location in the first text you send, because if you can’t send any more texts after the first one, at least we’ll know where to send help.

OP is correct, however, about the pizza thing. there is no “secret pizza code” or anything like that among dispatchers. i wasn’t trained on anything like that, none of my coworkers were trained on anything like that. it doesn’t exist. if you call 911 and say you need to order a pizza, our very next question will be, “you called 911. did you mean to call 911?” and if your answer is yes, the next question will be, “do you need help?” or “are you in trouble?” pretending to order a pizza is a good way to give us your address, because when you call 911, an address is the most important thing to give us. we can’t help you if we don’t know where you are.

i’ll just say that again.

we cannot help you if we don’t know where you are.

That “fact” about Clinton defending a child rapist and laughing about it, came about in May of 2016 this year. It’s a new lie which is part of a carefully orchestrated smear campaign that’s been running against her for the last 20 years because the thought of a woman in power scares certain powerful men shitless.

What is true about it, is that in 1975 Hillary Clinton (then Hillary Rodham) was appointed to represent a man charged with raping a 12-year-old girl. This was her job. And just in case you can’t wrap your head around how being a defense lawyer works then I’m sorry to tell you that lots of lawyers have had to defend people they have found to be monstrous. When people say in movies “you have the right to an attorney” they’re serious, everyone has that right, even child rapists. Hillary took the case reluctantly, which ended in a plea bargain for the defendant. He did not “get away with it”. He actually plead guilty. That’s what plea bargain means.

Hillary Clinton did not volunteer to be the defendant’s lawyer, she did not laugh about the case’s outcome, she did not assert that the complainant “made up the rape story,” she did not claim she knew the defendant to be guilty, and she did not “free” the defendant. Do some basic research before you support such claims. (x)

And just in case you’re too lazy to click the link, here’s a direct quote from Hillary and Gibson, the prosecution lawyer:

[Prosecuting attorney Mahlon Gibson] called me to tell me an indigent prisoner accused of raping a twelve-year-old girl wanted a woman lawyer. [Prosecutor Mahlon] Gibson had recommended that the criminal court judge, Maupin Cummings, appoint me. I told Mahlon I really didn’t feel comfortable taking on such a client, but Mahlon gently reminded me that I couldn’t very well refuse the judge’s request.

*

“Hillary told me she didn’t want to take that case, she made that very clear,” recalls prosecutor Gibson, who phoned her with the judge’s order.

And murder? If we’re talking about the decisions all politicians make, then by that logic you could turn around and say that Obama has murdered 116 innocent civilians because of drone strikes (x), George W Bush murdered over 110,937 civilians in the Iraq war alone. (x) People might well believe Bernie Sanders is the savior we’ve been denied, but you’re dreaming if you think he could have taken the office of the presidency and avoided bloodshed entirely. But since we’re presumably cherry picking about bloodshed on politicians hands, lets talk about The Authorization of Military Force Against Terrorists Act, passed on September 14th 2001. This act is responsible for the United State’s continued engagement in the Middle East over the last 15 years—And Bernie Sanders voted for it. And I love Bernie, I would have voted for him in a heartbeat. But when we’re talking about “murder” on the hands of politicians hands, we cannot cherry pick the facts we want to believe in and ignore the rest.

Hillary Clinton is not a monster. Hillary Clinton does messy jobs no one else is willing to do, and she does them well. But Hillary Clinton is also the person who showed up at Ground Zero following in the wake of 9/11 to witness the carnage for herself. Clinton who did not do it for photo-ops as so many did, and took the time to talk to first responders and to make sure theywere getting the resources and help they needed to carry on their work. Clinton who advocated for those same people to receive health care when it was revealed the Bush administration lied about the air around Ground Zero not being toxic to breathe, putting rescuers at further risk. Clinton who stood by people for years and made sure they were doing okay in the aftermath:

Gorman recalls being pleasantly surprised by Clinton’s commitment, both in terms of her mastery of policy detail and on a personal level. “She would call me on my cellphone to ask how I was doing, how my members were doing,” he said. “One time I was pumping gas at a Texaco station, it was Christmas Eve, and she wanted to know how things were going. When a senator calls someone on my level, that’s impressive.”(x)

But we don’t hear so much about that do we? We don’t hear about Hillary who has been campaigning for universal health care since 1993 (x). Hillary who has stood with Planned Parenthood for a long time and who remains their most stalwart advocate (x)

And the reason we don’t hear about them is because Hillary has endured a 20 year smear campaign against her, and this is important, because she is a woman who dares to show ambition (x). So when you believe the things you read without fact checking them, you are giving weight and precedence to even bigger lies which has its roots in female oppression. Which is disgusting.

Do I agree with everything she has ever said and done? No of course not. But on that same level I don’t agree with everything Bernie Sanders has ever said and done either. Do I believe she is the most qualified candidate to be the next President of the United States? Unequivocally.