♤Lewis♧

It hurts like hell, it breaks my heart. Well, I mean, it was already broken that's why I need to move on.

Letting go.

And it's bad. I mean i had worse.

But it's still annoyingly present.

I wish I could live someone else's life and just have it easier.

I wish I was someone else.

I wish I belonged.

I don't know if anything's ever gonna change.

Or if I'm stuck in this weird in-between of past and future, but not now. Will i die coldly or will I find a warm place? I don't wanna freeze.

I'm scared. I want it to get better, to get a home, to feel safe and warm. But I think I lost my hope. My motivation, my survival instinct. There's probably no future for me and I can sit in the snow and freeze.

Some people are heartless.

But I'm tired.

And I just wanna sleep. It's alright if I don't wake up.

Mine or theirs.

Doesn't matter.

I hate everyone.

With their nasty lies and empty promises.

Wasting my time, my emotions, my energy.

For nothing.

Just wasting my time.

Useless fucking bitches.

They force me to be their dumb fucking circus clown or otherwise I can just starve on the streets.

Bastards.

I'm waiting for the day society collapses and I can kill them all, one by one. Slowly, gruesome, splattering.

My future seems uncertain at best, otherwise doomed.

I'm tired. No matter how much I try, I'll stay trapped.

In my own personal hell.

I hope I'll find a way out, i survived until now, but. I'm trying, it seems that I'm finally able to move forwards.

But then there's this hand, holding onto my wrist. Gentle yet firm, pleading me to stay.

As if I'm stuck. Whatever I'm saying, it's not reaching anyone I'm talking to. It's almost as if someone put a language barrier between me and everyone else.

They can't understand me, neither my ghost, nor my mind. So what should I do?

Emptiness. Silence.