LeVoid Dreamer

Where do I even begin to show gratitude to what we have been through. What we have endured at the hands of others, and ourself? How do I talk about the pains we have had or the emotional state we are left fight in every day? How do I start to say I'm sorry to myself?

Intentions are just that. Intentions. I can go on for days about how my intent is to heal myself and make myself better, but what does that mean, truly? A healed Ashleigh is as mythical a beast as mothman. A healed version of me is like grasping at a rope to far away while drowning in a pool of my own pitty. I know I can be saved but some days I wonder if I want to be saved.

Thats the kicker isn't it. The want to be saved. The need to be whole and healed is the driving force for many. But for me, its a terrifying realization that I am, indeed, broken by the society standards.

The journey I want to be on is one of self enlightenment and the creation of self care. An idea I was never taught as a child. The idea of caring for myself as one does their hair or skin is an odd concept to me. My soul has been left to rot in oils of self doubt and tangled in roots of childhood trauma.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity

"Books are the training weights of the mind"

Dead flowers...

The stars and the moon.

While the sun has no lover

Except the water vapor shadows

That it creates.

I'd rather be the moon. Then the sun.

Because I'd rather be loved

Then for my love to vanish

"Midnight Blue is the only color that can compete with Black."

"There are many ways to the recognition of truth, and Burgundy is one of them."