"Your dad scares the piss outta me," Eren murmured, hands shoved in his pockets while he stared up at the grandiose house. "Looks like he's part of the mafia or something."

You halted the search for your keys, fingers momentarily pausing from inside your bag. "Which one?" You snorted, raising a brow while your lips twitched. It didn't come as a surprise that Eren was a little skittish around your dads, but he wasn't exactly being specific enough.

"You know, the short—" His back stiffened, lips dropping into a frown when the front door swung open, revealing the man Eren had just been about to describe.

"Finish that sentence, Jaeger," Levi started, leaning against the door-frame while he crossed his arms. "And I'll make your trip to the hospital a long and filthy one." His eyes flickered down to you, taking in the messy state of your hair, and makeup. It was subtle, but his lips curled down into a dark glower that made the hair on your neck stand on edge.

"I-I didn't mean-"

"Get the hell off my porch, brat," Levi snapped. "Go home and tell your shitty parents that you didn't die of alcohol poisoning." Eren didn't need to be told twice before he scampered off, leaving you to shrink beneath the deep-rooted anger that had settled into your father's eyes. "And you. Your father is waiting in the kitchen."

Shit.

You blinked, swallowing the lump in your throat. He looked just as pissed off as you imagined him to, and you doubted you were going to get off scot-free for sneaking out.

"I brought you some tea," The thin paper cup had been the only thing keeping your hand warm on the walk back from Connie's house, and now that you were holding it out for your dad to scrutinize, you were suddenly second-guessing your choice. Maybe he was in more of a black tea mood today... "It's the Vanilla Earl-Grey from the—"

"Stop your shitty rambling," The cup was plucked from your fingers, and he stepped to the side, jutting his chin to the warm entryway. "Erwin and I aren't in the mood to listen to you kiss our asses."

"If you would just listen—"

"I'm not telling you again." Levi's voice dropped, eyes glinting dangerously in the early morning sun.

Your shoulders slumped, hanging your head as you obliged your dad's demands.

"How mad are you?" You took your shoes off, neatly tucking them away on the shoe rack before hurrying to catch up to your father's brisk pace.

"Furious."

You froze when you spotted the tall blond, whose frown had settled into the fine lines around his lips. Erwin Smith looked anything but impressed with you, and you could tell he was struggling to rein in his anger. The way his shoulders tensed, how he kept his posture straight and formal, even the cold stare he gave was a bad sign that you had thoroughly pissed him off.

"Good morning, daddy," You gave a nervous smile, trying to come off casual despite the tense atmosphere. "I uh— I brought you— shit." Your hands were anxiously grasping at a small package of pastries, hoping it would help soothe his rage. "I brought you a fresh pumpkin muffin."

"How nice that you took us into consideration this morning instead of last night," Erwin made no move to grab the neatly packaged pastry, and instead trained his eyes on you. "Do you have anything to say for yourself? Or are you going to try and buy Levi and I's forgiveness?"

"Alright, let's take this into the living room," The shorter dad ordered. "Before you blow a gasket in the fucking hallway of all places."

You followed in their footsteps, keeping quiet despite the sound of your heart thundering in your ears. This was bad. Worse than you had imagined.

Both of your dads took a seat on the couch, while you quietly sat down on the armchair opposite of them. The tea you had gotten Levi sat in his hands, while you set the muffin on the coffee table in case Erwin changed his mind and decided to favor your attempt at a subtle apology.

The three of you sat in silence for a few heartbeats. Levi had leaned back, a hand stretching behind Erwin, who sat stiffly.

"Who drove you?" Levi questioned, casually sipping his tea. Maybe the Earl-Grey had been the right choice.

"I walked."

"She had the Jaeger boy escort her home too," The short father added, scowling. Alright, Earl-Grey was definitely not helping calm him down.

"The one who looks like he's constantly strung out?" Erwin's brows raised in an unimpressed gesture. "I thought you knew better than to hang around with drug addicts. I thought we taught you better than that." His hands balled into fists, staring you down ruthlessly. "Perhaps Levi and I need to have a serious discussion with you on the rules in this household."

"Okay, first of all, Eren tried marijuana once," you held your index finger up for extra effect. "And he never touched it again because he had a bad trip. And secondly, I wouldn't have to sneak out to parties if you guys said yes to me every once in a while."

"No note, no phone call," Levi listed off, gritting his teeth. "Not even a shitty text to let us know you weren't dying in a ditch in the middle of nowhere. And when we did try to call you, you ignored the message... Until some shitty runt picked up the phone and told us you were, and I quote, 'Getting turnt with Eren and Mikasa.' Whatever the hell that means." His words came out slow, but boy, did they pack a punch. "Do you understand how worried I was for you? How worried we were? What the fuck does 'Getting turnt' even mean? Huh?"

His nerves were obviously frayed, and by the dark circles under his eyes, it was clear he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Come to think of it, it looked like Erwin was in the same boat too. The blond kept running a large hand over his eyes and into his hair, tousling the typically neatly combed hair.

"I'm sending you in for a drug test," The blond dad decided. "No excuses. I'd like to know what exactly my daughter has been trying at these parties." Then, before you could even try and object, Erwin asked: "Were there boys?"

"Of course there were," Levi snapped. "Jaeger walked her home, and the brat who answered her phone didn't sound like a girl."

"And an STD test." Erwin glowered. "Do you have any idea the hell you put your father and I through last night? Levi couldn't sleep, and he nearly put an amber alert out for you."

"I was just at Connie's!" You cried, throwing your hands up. "There weren't even that many people—"

"Bullshit!" Levi exclaimed. "I could hear all the voices on the other end of the line."

"Okay, so what if there were a few more people than I want to admit? It's not like I was doing anything bad. I had a few drinks and then—"

"And then what?" Erwin growled. "You slept it off? You could have been raped, do you understand that? Boys these days are animals, and they have no respect for young ladies like you."

"They think with the wrong head," Levi piped in. "They're filthy, and Jaeger especially."

"What do you have against Eren?" You crossed your arms, defiantly staring at your dads. "He hasn't done anything wrong to justify why you hate him so much."

"The kid smelled like a fucking brewery while he was dawdling on our porch," The short dad hotly rounded. "And he's dating Mikasa— I know all about their little love life, and how he wants to be some kind of punk rock star. The kid is bad news."

"I think what your father is trying to say," Erwin's hand clamped down on Levi's shoulder, silently ordering him to calm down. "Is that Eren is a bad influence. You've been staying out past curfew, you haven't been diligent in texting Levi and me back, and you're deliberately disobeying us. Something needs to be done."

"A month, no phone," Levi spoke up. "Absolutely no parties where you're 'Getting turnt,' and definitely no hanging around Jaeger." He squinted as if trying to pick apart your expression before he added: "And we'll be picking you up after school for the remainder of the month, too."

"What?!"

"Don't forget about the drug and STD tests," Erwin frowned. "I think Levi would also appreciate it if you cleaned out his car from top to bottom, and scrubbed the toilets."

"Yeah, all three bathrooms need a good cleaning," Levi agreed. "They better be up to my standards, or else you're starting all over again."

"This is so unfair," You sulked.

"What's unfair is raising a young lady who won't give her fathers the time of day." Erwin corrected. "We didn't raise you to act like a petulant child who refuses to listen to her parents. Did you ever stop to consider why we said no when you asked to go to Connie's party? Because we're scared for you. We don't want you to get hurt, or into an accident."

"I know, I know, but it just—" How were you supposed to explain it? "It just makes me feel like you and dad don't trust me, and that's why I never get to go out and do fun things."

"No, it's all these other buffoons we don't trust," Levi scoffed, crossing his arms, tea still in hand. "Erwin and I used to be teenage boys, Y/N, we know how their little pea-sized brains work, and neither of us want you to fall subject to their god-awful attempts at wooing you."

"Oh my god," Your cheeks started to burn. "I didn't have sex! How many times do I have to tell you? I went there, I had a few drinks, we played spin the bottle and—"

"Spin the bottle?" Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Definitely an STD test, I want it all done. All of it."

"We're all a bunch of virgins!" You cried, throwing your hands up. "Except Zeke, but—"

"Zeke was there?" Levi snarled, eyes wide. "You didn't tell me he was going to be there. I never should have let you out of my fucking sight."

"I didn't tell you because I knew how you would react," You countered. "Besides, it's not like he was trying to hit on me or anything. He was too busy chatting Pieck up. But, not the point. None of us were doing anything bad except for having alcohol— which you let me do all the time at home."

"When we can supervise you," Erwin reminded. "And monitor how much you're consuming while providing a safe environment to ensure you don't accidentally hurt yourself while under the influence. Not to mention that you have no idea how any of your friends are going to react when they're drunk."

"Jaeger strikes me as the type of guy to start getting violent."

"Would you stop slandering Eren?" You pleaded. "He's not half bad if you would just give him the time of day."

"Fine. Mikasa and her mother were going to come over for dinner next week. I'll extend the invitation to Jaeger too," Erwin cut in, sending a warning glance Levi's way as if to silently challenge him. "That way we can get to know your friend, and settle Levi's apprehensions about him."

That... That actually wasn't a half-bad idea.

"Fine." You nodded. "Anything else?"

"I expect your phone and other electronics on my desk within the next thirty minutes," The blond acknowledged. "And after that, you should start on the bathrooms. You know how thorough your father is."

You gave a solemn nod, exhaling as you leaned back into the seat. A month of no electronics, and you were getting driven to and from school. Great. Just great.

"Oi, stop pouting," Levi ordered. "You're getting off easy."

"I know, but a whole month, really?" You pinned the two of them with a downturned lip and a furrowed brow, doing your best to come off innocent despite being caught redhanded.

"Levi was a wreck," Erwin's tone softened. "He almost drove down there to retrieve you, but I insisted we wait for you here."

Your dad certainly had your attention now.

"Like you're one to talk. Nearly fucking spilled an entire pot of tea when he saw you weren't in your room." Levi countered.

"Hey," You cut in, lips tilting up apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you guys. I just wanted to go out and have some fun, that's all. It won't happen again."