Grow With Me

My experience, just like top surgery, has been a roller coaster. Going into surgery things were falling into place smoothly. I was pretty nervous, but I knew I was in good hands. When I woke up, the pain was pretty intense, and it reminded me of the good ol’ days back in high school when I would curl up into a ball on my bed and cry from how painful the cramps were. Yeah, like that, but this time I had drugs. The first time I had to pee was quite an experience as well. No one really warns you how much it’s gonna hurt and I may have shed a few tears over that. 

One thing that threw me off in the hospital was how uneducated the nurses were about trans patients. During switchover some of the nurses were confused by how I was a male who just had a hysto. Some even proceeded to gossip with other staff members and casually look at me and say “oh he’s actually attractive too.” Are we supposed to look like aliens to you? I proceeded to get misgendered a few times, but I was too drugged up to even care at this point. 

Everything seemed alright once I got home. I had support and lots of snacks and Netflix. However, after a couple weeks of light spotting, I began to experience heavy bleeding with clotting. This has been going on for a week or so and I’m currently three weeks post op. I just checked in with my doctor, had a physical done (ouch that hurt) and nothing seemed to be alarming to her. She said it could be old blood caught behind something that is just now being released. I also got my testosterone levels checked and my levels seem to be pretty high now and I may have to readjust my dosage.

 I’m still not working or doing anything active and I’m going a little insane, but hopefully things will go up from here.