for the wings of freedom

you clearly remember the day when commander erwin stomped into the girls' sleeping quarters and had to watch captain levi slowly pull out of you and shove himself back into his pants ( shamelessly, you might add ). instead of blowing up in front of the entirety of the soldiers, the two of them went upstairs to have a civil discussion instead, in which levi counted out and named the cadets that erwin has meddled with since he was put into power. there weren't many, but there was more than the one ( you ) that captain levi ended up with. with the commander's blessing ( read: tolerance ), the captain was happy to have your things moved to his room where you would be allowed to stay during your time as a cadet.

though there was bliss emanating from the both of you, an obstacle that made itself too well known not too long after was the fragility of human life. even with captain levi's presence, the number of close calls was much too high. there were bigger, more important things that captain levi had to prioritise than you when you're out in battle, but he ended up jeopardising them a few times in order to save your life.

a rather ruinous injury in the battlefield had you assigned to bedrest for a month and levi was almost foaming at the mouth as he argued with his commander for hours to retire you. calmly, commander erwin argued that if you weren't part of the survey corps, your presence would no longer be required at the headquarters, so a compromise was met: you were given the title of an honorary survey corps member and you were henceforth a glorified maid. it was clear from the start that fighting titans wasn't sustainable for you and, if anything, you're almost relieved, elated even, about your injury. the only way you'll find yourself in 3d manoeuvre gear again is if there really were no more soldiers left to fight, so death can only come if there was a titan invasion that reached all the way to the survey corps headquarters.

with your new title, it was all too easy to learn how to meet your lover's standards. you were someone who enjoyed cleaning ( the alternative was much worse ) — no groaning or dragging feet when asked to wipe down his office or any other room for that matter. not only were you willing, you were good at it, and these two features are not often found together. if he thought he loved you before...

"stop it. it.. feels weird." a groggy voice washes away the reminiscing and you can't help but smile as you lean in and press a kiss to levi's shoulder.

"why do you have such an aversion to saying it tickles?" in the past, you've tried moving your fingertips along his sides, even going so far as to test his feet, armpits, and tummy, too — but to no avail would he ever admit that he's ticklish.

"because it doesn't, brat." he turns over and, contrary to his annoyed voice, his eyes are warm, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "just because you're ticklish doesn't mean everyone is."

the rolling of your eyes is so easily suspected and he combats it by pressing his lips against yours, scooting closer so he can have your chest flush against his. ever since you've moved in, levi enforced a policy of sleeping nude for easier access each night and morning. the only time he ever thought about retracting it was when you were too comfortable in your bare state and opened the door like that for commander erwin — he left levi's room without even saying what he came to discuss and his cheeks burning bright red.

"should i also start tickling you now to see how you react, sweetheart?" his long fingers reach up to hover above your neck, but you're already cringing and wailing for him to stop. muffling a smug laugh, he replaces his fingertips with his mouth instead and leans in to grab a patch of skin with his teeth where he noticed your usual purple and pink faded to light green, suckling down on it as he trails his fingertips along your protruding clavicle, then down to your chest where he gropes at your plentiful flesh with a soft groan.

"don't you have some drills to oversee?" you mutter with no intention of actually letting him leave; you know damn well he doesn't care about having to watch a bunch of sweaty kids exercise. as if your body's been trained ( it may as well have been with how frequent your escapades with levi are ), you part your legs to wrap one around both of his and pull him closer until you can grind your leaking slit against his thigh. the warm and wet feeling forces a growl to build in his chest and he wastes no time in grabbing a handful of your ass this time, nails digging into the plush skin.

"yes, but i think the drilling you and i are thinking of are quite different," he murmurs against your damp skin. "besides, you wouldn't want me out there frustrated and still horny, do you? imagine how much more running i'll make the cadets do, just to watch—" you cut him off with a sneaky squeeze to his tip and he only laughs in response, somehow entertained by the idea of him being creepy.

"you're so mean sometimes... do you like it when i get jealous or something?" but you already know the answer. though he'd never entice those feelings from you to the same degree he did before, he likes seeing you nestle against him like your rubbing will mark him, or the way your hand squeezes tighter when you two walk by christa; not to mention how much more enthusiastic your hips are when you ask to be on top that night when these things happen.

levi only offers you a knowing grin and he pulls back so you can see it, pushing your shoulder down to keep you flat on the bed as he kisses the tip of your nose. he stares into your eyes for a moment, enjoying the proximity and tenderness of getting to be with you like this. his breath is tangible on your mouth too and you lean up to steal a kiss, earning you another wide smile before he trails kisses down the expanse of your chest, stomach, then the area just above your folds.

oh, he loves stalling and watching you become riled up underneath him. his hands grab the outside of your thighs and he scoots back so he's on his knees, but his torso is close to the bed, head resting on the inside of one of your legs. he's so close, but he's denying you any chance to actually feel him where you're starting to need it the most.

"levi," you grumble, reaching a feeble hand out to try and grab his hair, but it gets shot down in an instant. his eyes are locked on to your puffy slit and the way your nectar glistens with the help of the warm sunlight that illuminates it — the most tempting meal he's ever laid eyes on.

not a second longer is he able to resist, so he indulges himself and dips his head to lick a thick stripe from the bottom of your cheeks, all the way up to your hooded clit, making sure the very tip of his tongue lingers against the sensitive nerves. already, you're squirming and clenching your fists by your side, your lips whispering little pleas of more, more, more. though he acts as if your words and cute little antics fall on deaf ears and blind eyes, he can't hide the way his cock twitches and starts to drip onto his sheets, nor the way his nails start to dig into your skin as he laps his way down to the origin of your sweet honey. his lewd slurps are embarrassingly loud and his accompanying moans are as well, sounding more like he's stumbled upon a world renowned chef's cooking, but your noises are no longer held back and challenge his as your back arches so you lean your hips forward just a bit more to have the tip of his nose press against your throbbing clit.

a large hand hits the side of your ass before he presses down harshly on your tummy to keep you down; he's in control right now. despite not meeting his eyes, you can feel his glare and you try to look anywhere else, but he won't relent unless you give in — you know this. the lifting of his face is felt instantaneously and you panic to look at him now, and only when your eyes meet does he lower himself back down to continue licking up each drop of your slick. this time, his tongue delves inside of you and it's velvet against velvet, the vibrations of his feral moans only driving you closer and closer to ecstasy. the palm on your stomach disappears until all you feel are a few rough fingertips that trail up and down the expanse of your torso to elicit goosebumps as he devours you deeper and more sloppily. his spit is no longer controllable as it mixes with your juices and he finally brings his other hand to press a thumb against your clit, skillfully rubbing it in the circles you taught him to draw months ago.

your release comes suddenly and without warning, but your screams and his name coming off your lips at such a volume make him forgive you right away, his mouth still working on the new influx of your sweet juice until he's satisfied and you're no longer at risk of dripping onto his bed ( not that it matters when he's been ruining it himself ).

"good girl," he murmurs, pushing himself up on his knees whilst wiping his mouth with his wrist. the sun shines from behind in such a way that has him absolutely glowing, as if he's surrounded by an aura; if he asked you right now what you think god looks like, you'd answer that it must be him. isn't levi your god anyways when you worship every inch of him and blindly follow his laws without complaint?

the compliment makes your cheeks burn even deeper with scarlet and you smile down at him, elbows propped up and holding the brunt of your weight with your chest heaving up and down as you catch your breath.

levi shifts to move his back against the wall so his legs are spread out and feet are almost touching the long edge of the bed ( it's adorable that his legs aren't long enough to reach the end, but you'd never say it out loud ).

"c'mere, sweetheart," he coos for you, patting his thick and muscled thighs with his palms to show you your seat. without another thought, your achy joints move to obey so you're straddled on his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. almost instantly, your face finds the crook of his neck and nuzzles for warmth and comfort, his musky smell almost intoxicating, even after all this time you've spent together. his cock is weeping as it slaps against your tummy and he moves his palm around it in uneven strokes, filling the room with the wet sounds of his indecent act, but it only makes you hungrier for him. you want — no, you need it.

"levi, please," you whisper. even from down here, you can feel the way his jaw tenses with his all-too-wide smile — he wants to hear more. "please fuck me... i miss you! it's been too long and i want you to make me feel full. didn't you say you wanted to fill me with your child? this time is it, i know it. god, please—"

it's only been a few hours since he was last inside of you, but the way you still crave him and are willing to let him achieve his wildest dreams with you makes you irresistible to him. the growl in his chest is riveting and your mouth parts even before he enters you, but when he does, you're in the perfect disposition to whimper out his name. time and time again, he fills you to the brim and even tries to go deeper until his tip is kissing the entrance of your cervix, his cock's crown creating a tiny, but visible bulge at the bottom of your tummy, and yet, your walls create an iron vice that tests his self-control and the pressing urge to just spill inside of you — this time is no different.

in no time at all, sweat mats his bangs to his forehead and he’s panting hard. his fingers are bruising around your hips and he loves the colour that blooms in the shape of his phalanges every so often, today most likely being one of them. each push inside of you is another sound of a wet slap that ricochets off the wooden walls, barely doing anything to cover up his animalistic grunts and your pathetic whimpers. shaking, your palms snake their way to his full cheeks and you lift them up just a bit so he takes the hint to let his eyes meet yours. once they do, you smile and lean in for a sweet kiss, letting your hips move to the rhythm of his whilst he swallows each of your lewd moans. he’s close already, but he doesn’t want to let go of you or pull away from your suffocating heat; tightening his thighs and pressing his feet into the mattress, he wraps an arm around your waist to lift you up and lay you down on the bed, all while keeping himself buried inside of you.

now that you’re beneath him, a wicked smile turns his lips crooked and he lifts each of your legs to have them bend, the backs of your thighs against his chest and your calves on his shoulders. essentially folding you as far as you can go, he begins to piston in and out of you once more, a possessive hand resting on your stomach.

“that’s right, my angel. this is the day we start to see your belly grow. what’re we gonna name the little brat?” he sounds so amused, but the way he clenches his teeth and furrows his brows are a telling sign that he’s about to finish. you only want to assist and make it all the better, to make his words come true, so you loop your arms around your thighs to spread them wider and keep them closer to you, offering every last millimetre of yourself that you can. once again, your zeal proves to him that there’s no one greater in this world deserving of him or all the potential children he's about to spill into you. one final slam of his hips against yours, his heavy balls hitting the curve of your ass as he empties them inside of you sends him falling on top of your chest, his moist forehead pressed to the bed. you can actually feel the throbbing of his tip and the pool that drowns your clenched velvet walls as he spurts every last drop he can ( it’s a miracle that he has anything left, let alone so damn much, when you consider just how often you two are intimate ), allowing you to milk him for all he’s worth. 

“oh, fuck,” he mutters, the feeling of your mixed juices growing uncomfortable when he thinks he can actually notice every drop that drips down the line of your ass and onto his once pristine sheets. with a deep inhale, he ( reluctantly ) pulls out of you and you whine in response to the emptiness, but he’s quick to shush you as he quickly plugs two of his fingers inside instead, fucking his cum deeper and more thoroughly inside of you. “waste not, want not.”

you understand that his goal is to actually put a baby in you, but your insatiable core starts to heat up again with the way his fingertips must be purposely brushing against that special spot buried inside of you  — a single chuckle from him is the telltale sign that you’re actually right. the devil he is, he decides to pursue one more sweet orgasm from you and continues to scissor his digits, feeling the resistance of your cavern, which boggles him; he just had you stretched to the size of his notable girth and yet, you were still so fucking tight. there's no time to waste ( he can hear the cadets asking where the captain is outside ) and he pumps in and out of you quickly, lingering his calloused fingertips against your bundle of nerves as he also works your clit with the pad of his thumb. your breath grows quicker and he relishes in the sight of your tits bouncing with each exhale as you buck your hips, desperate for release.

"that's right, sweetheart. unwind on my fingers." on command, you squeeze around him, almost unbearably so, and you hear a groan from him mix in with your loud keening. he watches with utter excitement as you spurt onto the bed and make an absolute mess for him. "that's my girl."

his beloved sheets are an absolute mess, but so is his angel, and that's all he could've asked for on a sunny sunday morning.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

after a peaceful hour and some of laying on the filthy bed together, an obnoxiously loud knock at the door turns levi's serene smile into a hostile grimace and he kisses your forehead before he hops out of bed, dressing himself because he knows exactly who it is ( if it was erwin, he wouldn't mind opening the door nude with your juices still glistening on him ).

"what, shitty glasses?"

hange's face is uncharacteristically pale and she stutters, uncomfortable with whatever is she's supposed to spit out.

"is she here?" she tries to lean around to see if you're present and when she catches a glimpse of your foot or arm or whatever it is on the bed, she pulls levi out of the room by his shirt collar. "you have to come with me. now."

the captain doesn't even get to bid you a good day before the door is slammed shut, but you're smiling anyways. it wasn't unlike hange to drag whoever was closest into her dungeon to showcase the latest results of her titan experiments.

with a big stretch and clicking joints, you get up to start your day, too. the headquarters was such a big building with only one person hired to clean ( unless captain levi knew a guest was coming or in 'a mood' ), leaving you with little to no free time when the other cadets were hard at work, too. you always start with levi's office and work your way up, then back down to the shared spaces for the cadets. today, just like every other day, you're off to start the cozy routine you've created.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

levi now comprehends why hange looked as if she had seen a ghost and he only mirrors the lack of blood in his features right now. he's actually seeing a ghost, listening to it speak utter nonsense with the intent to haunt him. 

"don't you remember what you told me? what you promised me? our child growing up with humanity's strongest soldier as a father and a noblewoman as a mother! it's going to be the most envied child inside the walls! oh, and that property that we talked about, too? my father kicked off all the people living on it and it's been cleaned thoroughly so we can start our family there any day now, you just say the word!" she drones on in her irritatingly peppy tone about nonsense that would never come true, about a reality that levi would rather die than live in. this isn't what he wanted and he was admittedly the irresponsible one for thinking he could get away with it. "and besides, it'll be good for you and the survival of the survey corps! maybe you can be promoted to commander, too! the king said he was itching to get rid of the survey corps before my father told him about us...."

ever since he fucked the stranger on the night of the military ball, permanently on his shoulders was the heavy weight of guilt from his actions and the way he handled things. though he told her that they probably wouldn't see each other again, she didn't seem to get the hint, even with so many unopened letters that levi refused to acknowledge or reply to. every time you'd see the envelope addressed to him, you'd see the pain in his eyes as he crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin and you— you. you've been as sweet as ever, comforting him and telling him that you forgive him for his unfathomable actions. you'd kiss his lips just as lovingly, suck his soul out of his cock like your life depended on it, and still hold him close as you drift to sleep. it took a bigger toll on you to worry and start an argument where there was no victor, so you learned to comfort him and watch him unwind, watch your mercy make him love you more and try harder to be deserving of your soft heart.

he doesn't want to think about how actually seeing this woman might make all of that go away — make you go away. as if her physical presence wasn't enough, the ever so visible bump where her stomach is is... upsetting. levi feels sick to his stomach and he can already see the never ending tears streaming down your cheeks when you realise that he has a baby, just not with you. his will to live just plummeted underground and he wants nothing to do with this entire situation.

"anyways," he hopes to god that at least hange was paying attention while he was contemplating how to get eaten by a titan during the next expedition, "i'll be back in a week or so with the official letter and papers for our marriage, levi. signed by the king and everything! i'll see you then and don't forget to put on your best suit because my father will be here, too." she reaches a hand out to try and hold his, but before there's any skin to skin contact, he already feels like he's been burnt, whipping his hand away from her as quickly as possible.

"don’t come back," is all he offers her and he pushes the chair he's on with an achingly loud scraping noise, turning away before she even makes a move to actually leave or come closer. he turns the knob, but sees that there was no need — the door wasn't actually closed — and he slams the wood open as far as it can go, as hard as he can. on his first step out of hange's stuffy office, he sees your face, also devoid of colour and your hands gripping a feather duster to the point of your knuckles turning white.

as if things couldn't get worse.

you don't even look at him, only a far, far object that you can't even really see, but god, anything to avoid meeting his eyes. even as he grabs your face, shakes you a little bit, and shoves his face into your vision, your eyes don't focus, as if your soul had left your body.

"hey. please talk to me." still nothing. levi doesn't care that the foul woman only a few feet away can see as he tries to kiss you, like you're some cursed princess and he's the only way to turn you back into a human. "sweetheart," he whispers, the desperation oozing from his voice so tangible.

is this it? does he lose you forever?

"baby, look at me." his voice cracks and you've never heard him so heartbroken before, it brings your body to wrap around him out of instinct more than anything, gaze finally finding his. "how much of that did you get?"

still too stunned to actually speak or fully comprehend what's going on, you shrug your shoulders because you truly, really don't know. moisture gathers in your eyes without you even noticing and only when levi's rough thumbs wipe them away do you realise that you've been crying.

"it's nothing — she's nothing. you're the only one that matters to me." his small frame starts trembling and the hold his hands have on you is becoming to grow painful. "if i can't have a future with you, all my work so far has been for nothing. it has to be you for me, no one else." he's pouring out his heart and reaffirming the idea that the only future he sees is with you; these are words he's sleepily murmured to you as you drift to sleep, especially on days when you'd feel inadequate, but they don't comfort you as they once did. how could they when you see the end of all things good for you and the captain in that room? the protective hands on her stomach and sick, twisted smile that's pointed directly at you. levi might've used her to forget you, but she came back to ensure that you're the one forgotten.

"i... have to go," your voice sounds foreign to you and when you pull away from him, it’s as if you can still feel his presence on your cheeks and, oh, how you dearly wish it was still there. you’re not even sure where to go or where you can go without him breaking the door in to hold you, but you try anyways. the fear of footsteps being right behind you disappears as you run down the stairs and when you realise that no one’s chasing after you, you’re not sure if you’re glad that levi’s giving you space or if you’re upset that he isn’t fighting enough by letting you roam free. the dissonance doesn’t last very long with the image of the woman’s stomach holding her child — levi’s child — becomes the only thing you can think of as you quietly sob to yourself in the corner of the empty dining hall, broken down and holding your knees to your chest. 

the pain of your heart clenching is almost unbearable and you think to how levi promised you similar things with you, too: getting married ( he talked about it being just a piece of paper, since he already knew he was bonded to you for life ), having children, and hopefully having enough stability in the future to retire and live on a quiet piece of farmland. your palms fall to your stomach and your lower lip trembles as your blurry vision sees the expanse of your body that levi claimed and sowed, but wasn’t able to reap. your head leans against the wall and you stare at the lines of tables beside you, blinking and breathing growing slower as you berate yourself with thoughts of not being good enough to have levi’s child and not loving him enough, allowing the woman to think that she had any authority to waltz in here, demanding levi’s hand in marriage. the last thing you ask yourself before you drift off is if the bliss you’ve felt in the past few months was worth the agonising pain you’re feeling now... and you aren’t sure what your answer is. 

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

it isn’t clear how long you’ve been asleep, but your ass is sore and your joints ache as your limbs spread out on top of the arms that carry you so easily. slowly, your lids flutter open and you see a mess of blond hair, along with the sharp features of the commander as he climbs up the stairs with you in his hold as if you were nothing more than a sack of flour. 

“s-sir?” 

“i couldn’t leave you on the floor like that. what would levi say if he found you instead of me?” his voice is gruff as he shoves the door of his room open and sets you down on his bed. rather than pacing like he wants to, he crosses his arms over his broad chest as he takes a seat on the chair for his desk adjacent to his bed, his posture immaculate. “he’s gotten himself into quite the predicament, i heard.”

you want to tell him that he’s right and that it’s such a shitty situation that levi himself created, and to tell him the jumbled mess of thoughts that bounce around in your head, but you can’t. you’re still frozen in place, only having moved to rest your back against the wall to sit up and face him. 

“what do you want him to do?” erwin knows that silence might be the only thing to come from you for a while, so he gets comfortable, folding one leg over the other as he leans back and relaxes just a bit. “if he goes with his heart, it’ll be the end of the survey corps and we’ll be left to join the military police, achieving nothing until we’re all eaten by titans... but if he does the logical thing, he’ll save us all, but live an unhappy life.” he muses to himself, expression growing amused. 

even after hearing what hange had to say, he never had time to dissect the issue out loud — how could he when levi started breaking anything and everything fragile within his reach? for now, the small man was sedated with a small dose of tranquiliser for the horses, his brows furrowed, even in a forced state of unconsciousness; an extreme that hange never thought she'd have to execute on levi of all people. 

you break your silence with a faint whisper that erwin struggles to hear.

“i know what he has to do... but i don’t want to live without him, sir.” slowly, as if your limbs were frozen and you’re slowly able to break the ice that kept you from moving, you hug your knees to your chest again, resting your chin on top of your folded legs. “am i being selfish?” the answer is obvious, but perhaps you just need someone who personifies the voice of reason to tell you it. 

“by definition, yes; you’re being quite selfish. isn’t it levi’s and your feelings versus the fate of humanity sitting in your palm? two versus many thousands.” the commander switches his legs and raises a hand to stroke his chin in between his fingers. “though, i will admit that levi’s work ethic might plummet and there’s a very big possibility that he’ll charge straight into a hoard of titans just to avoid returning home. that wouldn’t be very good, either.” 

you nod in agreement to every word he uttered because he’s right. when is the commander ever wrong? 

“go talk to him.” erwin stands now and pushes the chair back into its original place, stalking towards you and helping you off his bed with a gentle hand. “make sure you and levi have a final answer, and if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, you can come to me. this is the one room levi wouldn’t dare try to break into.” 

“thank you, sir,” you mutter, offering a faint smile as you leave the cosy confines of the commander’s room and to the icy, dark one at the end of the corridor. you predict that you’ll be knocking on erwin’s door again soon enough. 

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

the first thing you notice when you open the door is the amount of porcelain and books that litter the wooden floor. none of the items seem to be your things though, so you’re hoping that all this anger he was letting out isn’t pointed at you. the next thing you see is levi’s body laid out on the bed, fully clothed — very unlike him. 

with careful footing, you make your way over to the bed and climb in beside him. as much as your chest seems to be in an indefinite state of pain and that this will only prolong it, you want to indulge, even just for one more moment. your arms snake around his thin waist and you rest your head on his shoulder as your eyes begin to weep without any command. 

the feeling of your trembling body is enough to have him snap out of his nightmare and he looks down at you with the slightest bit of confusion.

“sweetheart,” he breathes, wrapping you up in his arms immediately. “i had the worst dream ever...” when you meet his eyes, he sees the red rimming yours and his brows furrow immediately. who made you cry? and slowly, the memories of smashing everything of his in sight comes back, the meeting with hange and erwin, with hange and that disgusting whore. he grows dizzy instantly, but his hold on you never falters. "sweetheart," he whispers again.

begrudgingly, you pull away and sit up with your legs crossed underneath you, fingers linked together and thumbs twiddling.

"levi... you know what you have to do," you mumble, but you don't agree with your own words. you're putting on a brave face for him because he needs it; he's weak. "it doesn't make sense to let everyone eventually die because of what you want."

what he wants, not what 'we' want.

"everyone is going to die eventually. what does it matter if it's sooner than later? what quality of life do humans even have like this? scared to go outside, starving on the streets? if i meet my end without you, i might as well have not lived at all." the anger from earlier prickles up his spine and he sits up with you now. "i need you and i don't care who i have to resist or kill to have you."

he'll fight for you. he'll kill for you. had this been any other turn of events, you would've thought it to be romantic and taken his hand in marriage right then and there.

"what if it's me that doesn't want that ending, though? what if i'm the one that's sending you to be with her because i want to?" oh, but it's so easy to see through your façade when you're sobbing and shaking like you are now. you're lying and it's so fucking obvious.

levi doesn't even acknowledge what you said — it's implausible and not worth expanding upon.

"we'll run away. i'll plan things with erwin so we'll always have gear and a place to stay... he'll help so no one can find us." he hasn't asked this of the commander yet, but the chances of him declining are so slim. "please, i can't live without you... i don't want to raise a child that isn't ours."

"so you'd be okay with letting that baby grow up without a loving father...? how did that work out for you?" the latter inquiry holds a lot more venom than you want it to and you want to indulge him — indulge yourself — by agreeing to the picture he's painting for you, but the intrusive thought of how he just parroted the same promises to some rich woman months ago, then to you, is something you can't ignore. "you... you cheated on me."

the pain that flashes in his eyes is unmistakable. for months, you've refused to talk about it and were adamant on forgiveness, nothing else, but today is the day you finally let him feel the gravity of his sins.

"you hated when i was just dancing with reiner, a friend, but you get to fuck a stranger and expect me to do nothing about it. if reiner was still around," you heard about reiner and his traitorous deeds and the truth about what he is, but you still mourned the loss of a good friend a while back, "would i get to fuck him, too? so we're even? i get to carry his child and marry him?"

you expect anger and even a slap to the face, but you only see the broken eyes of a man who has crumbled.

"i'd kill him. and i will once we catch up to him." his venomous words hold no poison, only defeat.

"then what about commander erwin?" your jaw flexes with tension. "at least we can trust him to take good care of me." it's your voice that's sharp and filled with irritation. "if i get to do the same with commander erwin and you still want me in the end, then i'll leave everything behind to be with you. i won't feel guilty about the child you're abandoning for your own selfish pleasure."

"okay." your eyes widen and you snap your head to the side to look at him, to look for any trace of a joking smile or just anything to see if he's just playing with you. but you're only met with saddened eyes and defeated, slumped shoulders. "i love you. i love you so much, i want to die. but you're right — i got myself into this mess and if those are your conditions, i'll wait. a year, five years, a decade. however long it takes. i'll wait for you, no matter what happens."

to say you're taken aback would be the understatement of the century.... but you're still trembling with unhappiness and you let your heart win over your head as you nod and get off the bed, fully intent on delivering on your promise to 'even things out.' when you've had time to calm down and think about what it is you're doing exactly ( maybe soon when commander erwin laughs at your silly proposal ), you'll find regret in your heart for what you've done. for now, you think yourself as level-headed and you leave the same way you came in, leaving the door to his messy room wide open.

꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏

"commander," you shout for him and knock your aching knuckles against his door impatiently. captain levi is only a few doors down and you know that he can hear what's transpiring.

"back so soon?" comes his deep voice with a rumbling laugh.

the regret you had saved up for later all comes rushing to you now as you twiddle your thumbs and try to think of a way to express whatever deal you made with levi that won't have the commander pushing you back towards the captain's room, demanding that you two just make up like two bickering kids.

"a-actually... there's something i need to talk to you about, sir... about levi and i— we came to a... a compromise." a thick eyebrow raises with curiosity and he ushers you back inside, shutting the door behind you. unknowing if your legs would be able keep from giving out underneath you, you sit on the bed as you did before, legs crossed under you and one hand on each of your knees. "if you could keep your questions until i'm done, sir... i think i'll lose my train of thought rather easily."

erwin nods and stays standing where he is beside the bed, arms crossed over his broad chest as he furrows his brows with concern.

"so... levi said," you're throwing him under the bus when it was your outrageous suggestion, "if i pursue the life he has with the noblewoman with you, and if i still want him after that, we can get back together. i-i'm not sure how far that means," but you can compromise with yourself, can't you? "as in if we have to get married or anything, and if you already have a wife or lover, i'm so sorry for even bringing this up, sir! i didn't— levi didn't really think it through..."

he looks as if he's digesting every word and turning them into sentences in his mind one by one, slowly understanding what levi ( you ) proposed.

"i'm surprised levi didn't mention that he knows i don't have a lover." dread starts to creep up your spine; maybe you should've left the commander out of this. of course he has a lot on his plate already, what good would the addition of more burdens do? "but i will admit, it's not because i'm celibate or abstaining. i've lost any cadet i've had a connection with in battle, so i gave up."

his arms uncross and he starts to kneel on the bed, hands reaching to rest on the mattress at either side of your hips, lips parted in a wide grin. he's close, too close for comfort.

"but i must also tell you that i've wanted a taste ever since levi started telling me about you. he'd tell me how sweet you are on his tongue during meetings about battle. in court, he whispered about how tight you squeeze his cock, even when you aren't cumming." his breath grows ragged and so does yours in response. "when we met with the head of the military police, he sent me a note with all the names you like to be called while being fucked and where to push and pull to have you moan like a bitch in heat."

your lids flutter and all you can smell is him, so manly and intoxicating. you've never thought of commander erwin as more than an authority figure, it's almost dizzying how quickly you're able to adopt him as a physical partner. he's the exact opposite of levi, your first and only: where levi is small, erwin is big, where levi is big, erwin's even bigger. the dark hair in your dreams is now replaced with shining gold and you fall victim to the seducing words of your commander.

"and now, he's conceding? after all that teasing, he's letting his sweet bunny run head first into the lion's den?" erwin lifts himself up to undo his belt, the sound of just the buckle making your thighs clench together. "he must really love you, and now it's my turn to experience why."

his mouth is on yours in an instant and you melt underneath him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he undresses himself until you decide that it's taking too long. clumsy, small fingers undo each knob from its clasp on his shirt, and it takes much longer than if he were to do it alone; his pants and underwear are already messily strewn on the floor ( another difference from levi — the smaller would fold it all neatly ) and he's waiting for you to finish with an amused, patient smile. only when you finish does he grab your wrists to settle them on your lap so he can shrug his shirt off himself, revealing broad shoulders and a torso filled with scars similar to levi's.

commander erwin is absolutely breathtaking in his naked glory, each of his flexing muscles bulging and just begging for you to worship them with your mouth.

"god," you whisper mindlessly. he's mesmerising without having to do anything.

the corners of his lips twitch with the urge to spread wider; it's been a while since he's had an intimate moment or heard himself being revered the way he likes. the sudden confession he made of wanting a taste of you was entirely true. it was difficult to watch you walk in the hallways without purposely inhaling deeper to take in your scent, to keep himself from asking levi if you tasted just as heavenly today when he'd come into a meeting with your nectar still staining his chin, both of your faces bright red.

erwin is a wise man; he won't take this moment for granted when levi could burst in at any moment to take you away.

"now let's see if the little one was exaggerating or not," his voice is playful, as is the gleam in his eyes, when he leans in to press his lips to yours. instantly, your lids flutter and you wrap your dainty arms around his neck to pull him closer, mouth parting to let him in, to let him wash away any trace of levi you'd had lingering on you. each flick of his tongue has you moaning underneath him and he picks you up so easily, resting your back on the bed so he's hovering over you, almost swallowing you up. the heat that pools in your stomach, in between your legs, is undeniable.

where levi's taste was sweet, the commander is heartier, as if levi was a freshly baked cake and erwin was a home-cooked meal fit for soldiers. levi would send you into a state of intoxicated dizziness, but erwin sends adrenaline rushing through your veins instead.

"sir," you breathe out in between loud, wet kisses, his large hands unclasping your buttons with much more fervour and accuracy than you did his. "a-are you sure?" but the question is more directed at yourself than him, and any resistance you've held on to slips away with your shirt and flimsy bra, to the floor with his discarded clothing as well.

"i think we're past formalities if we're soon to be wed, aren't we, darling? daddy doesn't mind." the single word has your head spinning and he takes this chance to slip off your pants and underwear off the long expanse of your legs, tossing them carelessly over his shoulder.

"daddy," your voice is a whisper and you throw the word out to give it a taste, see how it moulds on your tongue. it doesn't feel right at first, but when you see the beaming grin on erwin's face, you tell yourself that it's perfect. "daddy, i really... really want to feel you."

erwin knows that preparation is necessary, especially when dealing with someone of his girth and size, but your quiet begging, the title, the irresistible sight of you on his messy bedsheets... all the feedback he's gathered through a slew of previous partners gets thrown out the window as he lets lust overtake him. if anything, he'll have to blame levi for speaking of you in such a lewd manner so openly, making erwin's curiosity crash through the roof.

he only nods in response, a hand grabbing at the base of his length so he can give it a couple of steady strokes until he's ready to press against your dripping slit. as much as he knows that he has to prep you, make sure you're ready to take him, the temptation of your ring of muscle squeezing around his tip has his mask of self control faltering and he pushes into you crassly, the hand wrapped around his base steadying itself on your hip for balance.

the guttural moan that slips from his mouth makes your eyes fly up to meet his eyes that've rolled into the back of his head. with your small hands, you grab on to his biceps and dig your nails into his skin, lower lip caught in between your teeth as you hold back grunts of slight pain; he's big and you're sure that no amount of prior foreplay could've prepared you enough to take him without the burning sensation that paints you from the inside out right now.

"just like heaven," erwin murmurs to himself. he sits inside of you, tip already kissing your cervix, and once his shoulders are no longer tense, he returns his gaze to you and cups your cheek with a large, calloused hand. "you alright, darling?"

you nod just once, despite the tears that've yet to dry at your waterline.

"levi wasn't exaggerating in the least, sweetheart," he mumbles again, the mention of the onyx-haired man just a few doors away making your heart twinge with guilt — you've ruined yourself; you're not just his anymore....but it's what he deserves, right? critical thinking is an inaccessible skill at the moment and the pang of apologetic feelings flutter away when the commander — your commander — starts to move his hips, pumping in and out of you at his own brutal pace.

the sound of the headboard rocking against the wall is thunderous, as opposed to the creaks you're used to, and so are erwin's moans of your name over and over.

crystal blue eyes bore into yours, rendering you helpless as your limbs melt into jelly ( maybe the feeling of him pressing urgently into that spongy bundle of nerves inside of you have to do with it, too ). his stare is so intense and you feel as if you've never been so bare before, giving the entirety of your self to your commander, and he takes everything you have to offer.

his pearly whites grind together with sweat beading and dripping down his temple as he finds purchase on both your hips with both of his bruising hands.

"i'm gonna fill you up, doll," he grits out and his hips piston against yours, sending your back arching and vision fuzzy with the merciless pounding against the most sensitive corner of your clenched walls.

"d-daddy— oh, god," is all you can get out, nails digging into his arms once more as you feel yourself tighten around him, and with one last thrust inside of you, you can feel him spill inside just as you reach completion and become undone, like a ribbon on a present. toes clenched and back arched, sweat creating a slick dew on your entire body — erwin swears he's never seen a sight so perfect and wills himself to commit what lies underneath him to memory.

"fucking beautiful," he whispers, chest heaving with deep breaths. slowly, he slips out of you, not without a groan, and you feel the loss instantly, clamping your legs together with embarrassment.

the bed thumps and bounces beside you as the commander lays beside you on his side, a serene smile you've never seen before graced on his lips.

"so, did i convince you to take levi up on that offer?" weren't you the one that came here to persuade him?

your eyes fight the cloud of drowsiness that, as per usual, takes over you post-orgasm, blinking slowly, but hard to keep yourself awake as much as you can.

"yes, sir," you mumble sleepily, back to the honourifics once again. the sound of commander erwin's rumbling laugh is the last thing you hear as you descend into a heavy sleep, the faint image of levi's broken expression painting the back of your eyelids before everything fades to black.