letters into words of lust

Do you think as the world falls apart

Will it really matter if we go extinct

Will the world be better with our absence

Are we so self righteous that we need our existence to span decades centuries millenia or can we just accept that one day humans may fade from this existence the world will go on without us

We live our lives in this day and age and that is enough to go on with your day

Enjoy the beauty around you as it is

In the small moments

In the monumental sights

In the breathe of fresh air

Take it all in for what it is in the moment

Say goodbye as you depart

Hold the memories close

Reflect on mistakes

Live everyday for what it offers

Be close with yourself watch out for your sanity

Keep balance when the cracks appear and shifts take you away from where you once were

One piece at a time

Time has slipped away from me like grains of sand falling faster than I can possible fathom

I contamplate what it would be like to end it all

To fade into soft fuzzy darkness

Would I dream forever

Would I float above and see myself fading away

Who would I really leave behind

Wouldn't I just be releasing the world from another burden placed upon them from the moment I was born. The debts placed upon me will forever out way my life

I feel the darkness seeping in the cold claws clutching pulling tearing at me slowly the lines becoming bigger.

I can't hide as the marks spread

Am I happy or just distracted

Will this be my life

Is this worth living

I don't know anymore

I have no road map for what lies ahead

I don't want to rest in this mediocre life

I strain to equal my debts

They pull on me

I slip more everyday

Seconds away from the edge

Will oblivion catch me

Don't dwell on the bad 

Exist through the mellow 

Revel in the joy 

Existence is essential no matter how it plays out in the end 

We all live as equals in one way or another 

I have this desire as I stare up into the endlessly sky 

To talk about nothing and everything 

Getting lost in life without the harsh realites that choke in on us 

At times I need to lose myself to the nothingness that is the universe 

I need to walk along the branches in my mind filling in the cracks nurturing the vitality 

I think about you the easy laughs 

I need one of those chats with you that never ends 

Those chats that you would ignore the world to have 

I feel as though I am trapped in the now 

The stickiness of everyday life dulls me down to nothing 

I want to experience everything nature has to offer I want to see the world through my coloured youthful eyes 

Take a step away from the breathe that leaves your lungs 

Peek through the curtains into the beyond 

Slip through the tethers that hold you 

Float in non existentence 

Just for a little while 

You are not the money you hold 

The credit attached to your title 

The ownerships in your name 

The mental debt you carry 

You are everything and nothing all at once 

Every experience you've ever had fills in the mental cracks of youth 

Every interaction you've ever had leaves its mental mark 

Good or bad we exist in this life 

Every thought 

Feeling 

Touch 

Spoken word 

Word that's never stepped past your lips 

Experience 

Memory 

Emotion 

We are more than they try to make us out to be 

We are more than a number on a balance sheet 

You are who you make yourself 

A million versions of you exist in the world 

Every impression you've left on the all the minds you've touched lives on without you. 

In this sense you will never truly fade 

Live for you 

Live for them 

Live for love

Live for nature 

Take a breathe 

Seek the calm of equal presence 

Exist as you are 

It leaves me weak and needing

This need to follow the mental path into non-existenting

Where are you when I need you most

I miss the hours we would chat

The willingness to stay up late for that one extra word

Late night thoughts flow through me

I cannot express my need for that time is not now

The willingness to be in pain for brief moments

Just to feel something

Am I the same

Will I ever be who I once was

Will I sink and never break the surface again.

To say I love you, has many meanings

To say I miss you, leads to many things

To say see you soon, Carry's weight beyond which we do not know

To say goodbye, it is never known to be the final time

To say hello, is never interpreted the way you perceived

To say I hate you , has lasting affects

To say too late, is closing doors

To say your welcome, is more kind then you know

To say forever , always comes with a timeline

Can we kiss in the shadow of forever

I miss your lips

You chase away into nothingness

Leave me with your lips

Do our kisses change as time passes

As we wade through phases

Do they meld change

Shift to swift to catch

Do you taste the same

Do your lips still tingle as we linger

Will you forget the way they feel

If we were to part

Would you kiss me one last time

A kiss mixed with salty remains

I fear we mingle with distance

Have we faded from were we once began

Or has it all stayed the same slipped right by on to forever

Fear me no more

I'm sad to say I can't feel the world wrap around me as it once had

The soft caress the equal touches

The soft kisses from a butterfly

The gentle hum of a hummingbird

The soft rumble of the waves crashing on the beach

The silent song of the wind cascading through thicket Forrest

I behold the beauty lay it all out for me to see

For I fear the years are weak the beauty strains to show through it may never be the same

What lay in it's wake may never be forgiven or even forgotten

Time will tell how the petals fall

Lay gentle down for the rest may be long

One day I hope to see you bloom brightly once more

In another world

I do not exist

In another world

You moved away

In another life

You pursued your dreams to become a marine biologist

In another life

You never settled

You never became a mother

In another life

You moved to Vancouver

To go to school

Stayed with family

Swam in the waves

Explored the ocean

Made beautiful memories

In another life you traveled to dutchlands to meet your relatives

In another life you left your mother behind to heal explore yourself to full potential

In another life

You spent your energy on your own growth and maturity

In another life you are beautiful motivated you grew your life for you

In another life you have a beautiful apartment decorated with gorgeous drawings of your research

You have two cats that cuddle you every night

In another life you dated and explored the world of love

But one such as you could never get held down

In another life your happy

In another life you've never met me

I can't quite grasp these feelings

Little grits of sand slipping through my finger tips

Am I unloved , unmotivated, unhappy , unsatisfied, unstable

Lacking the lacker in which makes me shine

Sleep is this elusive creature twirling around me as I struggle to swim among the dreams

I am stuck in this idea of what life should be

I am me who is me

I am unaware of where my next steps may lie

Beyond the knowledge, without a grasp

I free fall when will I stop and take a breathe

I am a passenger these days who really sees through my eyes, I am to listless to recognize

Life is what we make of it

What do we make of life

Do we live for meaning

For memory

For moments

For lovers

For loved ones

My dear do we fear the end

The light doesn't reach us here at the edge of oblivion

Step away with me the fear will melt away

You can't feel pain as your nerves slip away

Life is who we are

Are we real without life

Did we really live

As the memories of our lives fade

Will we still exist in some miniscule way

We will be beyond comprehension together

I love you today

I loved you yesterday

I love you tomorrow

Love may I never see you

Love me till the end of time

My last beats speak your melody

What does it feel like when your about to cry

Does it feel like a slow build up of pain

Do you feel the fear creeping up

Do you feel the shame setting in

Can you scream for release

Are you afraid my dear

Of what the tears may reveal

Wipe away the pain as it falls

For rivers move mountains

You are more then you feel in this moment

I think misunderstanding someone In pain is the most harmful thing

while they are trying to heal.

they seek understanding that doesn't come.

Falling apart in front of the unknown.

feels like a chasm has opened up at your toes, to swallow you whole.

I miss the nostalgia of who I once was.

being deeper then the surface , of the world that sees you from afar.

I keep forgetting the day

I keep forgetting my mood

I keep forgetting my thoughts

I keep forgetting myself

I am lost

I am lost in this day

I am lost in this feeling

I am lost in these thoughts

I am lost in myself

I have forgotten who I am

on this day

in these emotions

treacherous thoughts seep me to my knees

Will I be lost forever ?

Pain

Depression

Regret

Self loathing

Sadness

Heartache

These are the thoughts I have with you on my mind baby.

Is it worth it. Or have I tortured myself to death.

I swear I'm drowning

I can't take a breath

I'm gasping

I see my life slipping away

Spans of time fade away

Can't these feelings leave me

My lungs are screaming

I no longer feel the need

I relinquish my existence

I shall never be remembered

Grasp to late as I fade