Abusers are generally great at something called âmanufacturing insecurityâ. It means, even if youâve never been insecure about something, abuser will create an insecurity about it, solely for the purpose of emotionally manipulating you. Meaning, when youâre not doing, saying, or thinking what they want, they have a go at your âinsecurityâ, triggering your pain, fear, guilt, shame, everything they taught you to feel, as a way to teach you that this pain is what youâre going to get if you fail to obey them.
Itâs not exactly hard to manufacture an insecurity (provided you are cruel and vicious), all you have to do is take a social norm and convince a person they arenât good enough in one or all departments. You convince a person theyâre too loud, too fat, too ugly, slow, naive, gullible, stupid, lazy, selfish, sexual, provocative, demanding, and that this is the reason why they will always fail, itâs a reason why they keep getting hurt, itâs a reason why nobody will ever love or care for them. Itâs utterly cruel, and an absolute lie. Deviating from the ânormâ in any way is not a reason of any of those things, if youâre getting hurt itâs because people are hurting you, if youâre unloved itâs because people around you refuse to show affection and care. These things cannot be the individualâs fault, itâs always the environment setting person up for pain. And abusers already know this. But they make a step to convince a victim itâs all their fault, everything others do to them, their fault. And even worse, that they deserved being hurt.
This kind of nonsense blaming everything on unrelated trait of individual can lead to a person getting terrified they could have somehow caused horrible things just by being themselves, that itâs impossible to even predict what might happen to them just because theyâre âthis wayâ or another. It creates an atmosphere of panic and confusion, and they find themselves seeing no way forward but to accept guidance from abuser. Abuser then pretends to know what victim is to do in order to avoid pain and failure - of course, only up to the point when abuser decides to inflict pain on purpose, to control and manipulate.
Youâre not stupid if you fall for this kind of trap, itâs designed to work on people who are self-aware, who work on getting themselves better, who are trying their hardest. You donât even have to lack confidence, abusers will take a confident person and eat their confidence away. And once caught in this situation, it might be hard to believe that someone would stoop that that kind of cruelty and lie to you while knowing perfectly well that you are good, that thereâs no reason on earth to criticize your traits, that you have nothing to be ashamed of. That you havenât deserved any of it.
titsay
baratheonpilled
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
izzy806
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
