Lets Talk About It

& the resounding answer was bc he was always willing to have calm conversations with ppl of differing view points and that he seemed respectful towards them.

This was equal parts enlightening, troubling and a relief. If you’ve only seen his insta clips of calm debates where he agrees to disagree with ppl, I can understand why you don’t get the hate towards him. His older clips can be found if you google him, the ones where he looses his temper and calls ppl slurs while arguing with him. He was clearly warned he’d get canceled if he operated like that and he stop doing this.

In your same Google search you can also see his interviews with other far right influencers.

The ones where he goes in depth talking with pastors about where a women’s place in the world should be; at home- as in not allowed to work outside the home, with no voting rights. What should be done to LGBTQ+ ppl, how they should be public executed and that even kids should be present so they see that being LGBTQ+ isn’t a cool “choice”.

The convos I had were enlightening bc I realized once again social media is the problem. No one’s doing any due diligence, they see a clip, like it and that’s it.

They were infuriating bc no one is doing their due diligence. People are being manipulated. The ppl who are hurt by ppl like Charlie Kirk are feeling betrayed by their loved ones- “How could you like this guy? Don’t you give a shit about me at all?” & everyone would rather not talk about it or “agree to disagree”.

But without these convos we can’t get to the root of the problem. We can’t remind our friends and family that these ppls agendas go far deeper and darker than their 30 sec clip on insta.

It was a relief bc as much as I hate the fact that my friends and family didn’t realize how hateful and harmful Charlie Kirk is, it’s there “not knowing” that has them supporting him and not hatefulness of their own growing.

Here is my plea, and I do mean PLEA, look into these ppl a little bit more. Remember that if they went from openly hateful to seemingly the most polite person, it’s probably bc they were mentored to be more palatable so they don’t get canceled. The hate is still there.

-Knowing how to behave publicly doesn’t mean a person is good or kind.

-Serial killers are often described as charming and intelligent.

We are all busy, no one wants to do a research project on everyone the follow on insta, I get it; but when people you love and respect are having a VERY different reaction to someone- maybe take some time to figure out why.

They want to keep us divided. It’s up to us to bridge the gap.

The overwhelming majority of ppl in this country believe in women’s rights and gay rights. So how do we have an entire party that still supports otherwise and how are they getting votes?

Bc of the “agree to disagree”.

It’s a mature way to have immediate relationships, but it’s being manipulated by people who want to continue their hate without consequences. They get to hide behind it and say “we can agree to disagree on this one thing and you can still vote for me.”

There is only so much we can do from our “side”. We are already refusing to nominate ppl who think women’s right and gay rights are up for debate. We need more people from the other “side” to do the same. Until then, alt right conservatives will continue to use these as divisive arguments. And here’s the kicker.

I can’t tell you how many right leaning democrats I know that would turn into Republicans, or at the very least would turn into swing voters and vote dependent on each particular candidate IF this country codified women and gay rights.

You’ve voted “Party” so long you’ve let it become taken over by the far right and you wonder why ppl say things like Republicans are Nazis. Take back your party and let’s have a normal middle ground again.

Why is it then, that politicians who believe abortion should be illegal based on their religion alone are allowed to run? 

Isn't it a direct conflict of the Constitution of the United States of America? How can someone we know will not be able to uphold one of the cornerstones of our constitution be considered fit to govern? 

I think we need an amendment added to the constitution that stipulates that citizens of this country that want to hold any government position, at any level, needs to undergo a psychological evaluation to confirm that they will be able to adhere to the laws of the land, and that they can tell the difference between their personal beliefs and laws of the land. 

Top defense personal need to pass psychological evaluations to make sure they are psychologically sound, and able to perform their duties to this country based on the laws of this country regardless of their personal beliefs. I think, given the constitutional crisis we are experiencing in this country that we need bipartisan support of the same psychologically evaluation being required for all citizens looking to run for office. 

Furthermore, I think this requirement should be fulfilled before a candidate is even allowed to campaign for a political office. If a person cannot pass this evaluation, then we have reason to believe that anything they say on the campaign trail could be tainted with bias and should be barred from doing so. 

It is clear, many voters cannot differentiate fact from misinformation. I think between the digital era causing widespread misinformation and the educational outcomes of the average citizen in the United States falling rapidly something must be done to safeguard our citizens from being taken advantage of. Being uneducated or undereducated is not the vault of the citizen. It is the result of an imperfect educational model being followed because corrupt government wanted to mold children into factory workers. They do not want to do things like 4-day work weeks, prioritizing wellbeing, and quality of life over what a person can make their company. They do not want to provide childcare so they would rather children start going to school full time by 4 years old, so employees have no reason not to come into work and make them money. It is a gross injustice that we have allowed people who could not afford to do better become so disenfranchised by their school districts lack of funds and resources that it then resulted in their inability to realize they are supporting someone who is abusing them.  

It is not our citizens fault that even when highly educated they are falling victim and becoming brainwashed from the onslaught of misinformation, out of context information and downright propaganda from candidates who are given free rein to spread it, simply because they are American citizens of a certain age. We have seen many cults in this country. We have mental health professionals that have devoted their lives to understanding the psychology of a cult leader and a cult follower so that we can try and prevent more lives from being ruined. Yet we allow extremists to run for Senate, Congress, Supreme Court Justices and Presidencies. It is the responsibility of the people who know better to do better and help protect the citizens of this great nation from extremist propaganda on both sides of the aisle. 

It my belief that once these measures are taken, we will finally take back our place as leader of the free world. With the separation of church and state amendment our forefathers intended us to have coupled with refusing to allow our citizens to be manipulated and used by corrupt politicians for personal, often time financial gain, we will be able to get back to true politics. 

We can talk about budgets without worrying about someone slipping in anti-LGBTQ+ laws into the bill. We will be able to talk about real, positive immigration reform without racist politicians calling all brown people rapists. We will be able to pass reasonable gun safety laws so our children do not continue getting slaughtered at school so some corrupt politicians can line their pockets with the gun companies blood money. We will be able to have factual conversations, where we use complete sentences, respect one another even when we are disagreeing and, we will be able to hold our heads high amongst our global community once again. 

I am passionate about politics, only because I am passionate about human rights; American rights. I am no politician, legal expert, or psychology expert. I am 36-year-old white women, daughter of an immigrant father and a poverty-stricken mother who built their American Dream and clawed their way up the social-economic ladder to middle class-if that even exists anymore. I am a sister to two women, one straight and one lesbian, who should have the same rights no matter what state they are in. I am an aunt to a little boy who should feel safe crying even though he is a boy and 5 young women that should be paid the exact same rate as their male peers who have the same degrees and years of experience as them. I am a mom, to two young boys that have ADHD that need an education based on modern day understandings of neurobiological disorders, learning differences, and mental health practices. I am a wife, to a wonderful man who sees me as his equal, even when I was staying at home with the kids and not quite managing to keep it completely cleaned while two hyperactive children ran circles around me. A man raised by a woman who marched in the women's marches in the 60s and was taught that gender norms are complete and utter bullshit. The kind of man I want my children to grow up to be, the kind of man that so many of these extremists call weak for his kindness, gentleness, and emotional intelligence.

I am a thinker, a dreamer, a writer, and as you can all guess, a talker.  

The want to get healthier, fitter, better with my finances etc. increases every year. Being in my 30s makes me feel old; having kids makes me feel even older. It doesn’t help that my husband and I are getting to the age where we are starting to get the dreaded sad news phone calls. Thankfully, it hasn’t been anyone our age, but we are getting calls about friends' parents and even our own aunts and uncles.

Every time I get this kind of news my entire world view shifts

I see everything differently than I had in the moments before I knew it. I reprioritize everything. I am sure most people know what I mean; you put down unhealthy food, alcohol, cigarettes. You start moving more, buy gym equipment, join a gym. You decide that you are going to become the healthiest version of yourself so that you can prolong your life. Maybe, you think, if you are the best/healthiest version of yourself you'll be better prepared. God, forbid you do get one of these horrible cancers or health scares you see talked about on the news every day, maybe you'll have a fighting chance.

Like always though, after a few weeks or so, life starts to take over again.

You start to fall into old habits, and before you know it 6 months have gone by. You are doing the same things you have always done. Until you get another call about another person, or you read another story online, watch another news reel with horrifying statistics. So, what is the answer?

When does it click?

When do you stop falling back into the bad habit? Do you just snap one day? Is it a little-by-little type of change?

Not too long ago I had a conversation with my therapist where I asked, “I do not even know when I am starting to go off course, so how am I going to stop doing it?” She said “You need to work on becoming self-aware.”

“It is not about all the times we fall back into bad patterns; it is about the length of time we let ourselves stay in them.”

-DR. G

“If we can shorten each time that we slip back into bad habits by just a little bit, we can get to a place where we end up being on track more than not.”

Instead of going 6 months before you realize you haven’t done the thing you’ve been swearing you would, put a reminder in your phone now for two months from now and label it: SELF CHECK IN. If it goes off one day and you realize Oh my God, I did fall off, that is your wakeup call.

Now, RESTSART and set the next reminder for anywhere between one and two months (and so on). Get to the point where you go from losing a whole month to only going 2 weeks before a check in. From there set weekly check-in reminders. We will eventually get to the point where we are only every ‘down’ for a few days at a time because that weekly check in is going to go off.

Eventually as our phone check-ins are going off, we will start to be able to sense it ourselves. Maybe, we do not feel as great because we slipped into some bad habits this week; and then that phone alarm goes off and you go “yep, I knew it!” Helping us put two and two together will help us learn that self-awareness faster.

So, get your phones out. Set you next check in and get to work on whatever your personal goal is. If you end up slipping and the alarm was your reminder to get back on track.

The most important thing to do next is to take it easy on yourself. You are human, and humans make mistakes.

Don’t give up completely. Take a deep breath and set your next reminder for a little sooner this time. My favorite quote is

“You cannot fail if you don’t quit”-Michael Hyatt