Keeping It Simple

7-10$ for a bottle of cheap alcohol of your choice at your local liquor store.

However much you want to spend on frozen fruit, juice, and yogurt

Alcohol takes longer to freeze than water, but most home freezers can get down to around 15-20 degrees F, which is where you want to aim. 

Fill just over half your blender with frozen fruit

Slop some yogurt on top, idk like a half cup?

Pour wine into the blender until the ‘fill’ line is about a quarter-up. 

BLEND THAT MOTHERFUCKER LIKE IT INSULTED YOUR GRANDMA. 

You want the texture to be pretty thick (thicc), because a thick smoothie will usually harden beautifully in the freezer - forms a nice solid popcicle.

If its too thin, add more fruit. 

Pour your new slurry of goodness into your popcicle molds

If there’s empty molds, repeat above steps for more delicious sludge. Maybe switch flavors?

Stuff into the freezer. Make sure freezer is set to ‘really freaking cold’ (alcohol freezes at a lower temp than water) 

Wait a day or two. 

(Eat the leftover smoothie) 

VICTORY

If you’re not into alcohol, just replace the alcohol with a red or white juice and you’re good to go. I don’t recommend citrus fruits/juice because they can interact badly with dairy. You can leave out the yogurt and replace with half a banana or avocado if you REALLY want to use citrus and want to keep the smoothness. 

You can also google delicious fruit smoothie recipes for ideas on fruit combinations. 

You can also just use chocolate ice cream and coffee with bailey’s and kaluhua to make a fantastic chocolate popcicle. 

i installed a camera in your room

*is shown any kind of affection*