not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex
Today's Document
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Cosmic Funnies
Misplaced Lens Cap

Product Placement
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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todays bird
NASA
untitled
Claire Keane
Xuebing Du

izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
Fai_Ryy

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@letoilelune
not all your fave blorbos can be masochists some of those fuckers gotta enjoy beating the shit out of someone during sex

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love ya our fav goalie ss74
summary: yn yln is a reporter/journalist, single mother of a beautiful little daughter, and a mother to every baby penguin there is. menace to the uncs. president of famous yln's goalie club. we all know how the goalie situation looks like in pittsburgh. will the club welcome stuart skinner? we shall see a/n: on the shorter side cuz no lie im not feeling it. burnout is hitting hard, might take a little break. news of stu to winnipeg hit in the middle of making this. it may be underwhelming but i needed to get something done. one day maybe i'll edit/rewrite/delete this. as for now - enjoy.
yn_pitt
yn_pitt yeah we cried, love ya our fav goalie
comments
yn_pitt to one of my first penguin friends, to the one that made me feel welcome in the big scary adult world - it's been an honor to watch you play but it is a greater one to call you our friend, cheers to an amazing career and amazing soul <3
kletang_58 Watch out he'll prank you
yn_pitt we had a truce
unclover yn i've just stopped crying can we not
e.malkin71geno Little one was so little
bigFour naurrrrr sb give me tissues
yn_pitt
yn_pitt uncle tanger's week
comments
crosbymysaviour the last pic ✋
kletang_58 She knows ball
yn_pitt no pls stop old man rutgermcgroarty mr letang that's not...
e.malkin71geno Why not my
yn_pitt give me patience yn_pitt yours lost, she didn't feel like 71 kletang_58 Suck it up geno it's L e t a n g
rickardrakell he doesn't know ?
kletang_58 Don't tell me that little demon yet again chose Flower's jersey first yn_pitt what can i say - she appreciates the goalies yn_pitt rick you're getting flamed in my next article 🤗
rutgermcgroarty ben ben ben
rutgermcgroarty i think you scared him off...
yn_pitt
yn_pitt some new faces and some...old
comments
erikkarlsson65 the point still stands
yn_pitt oh i know
skinnergoalkiller STUUUUUUU
benkindel_11 unc
yn_pitt run erikkarlsson65 kindy kindy...
crosbymyc the amount of swag cannot be matched
rutgermcgroarty real
unclover stuuuuuart
pensqueens is stu welcomed into little yln's goalie club?
skinner_74 slowly getting there arturssilovs1 couldn't be me yn_pitt "arty don't fight with mouse" - wise words of the little one
bigFour i live for her laughing at the boys
bigFour whose pic will be next
yn_pitt
yn_pitt days off
comments
rutgermcgroarty come back !!!!!
benkindel_11 please do
erikkarlsson65 don't listen them, we're having fun
rickardrakell so much fun! jbraz17 liars
kletang_58 Child labour
yn_pitt and who makes kindy grab all the pucks? kletang_58 Never said I'm not guilty
4liferss two queens
skinner_74 little yln rocks
yn_pitt she's flattered
yn_pitt
yn_pitt the goalies of pittsburgh
comments
rickardrakell i've never realised the eye thing
yn_pitt they're haunted by the goalie spirit
arturssilovs1 why did you do this
yn_pitt you look like the cast of inside out yn_pitt disbelief, poorly contained disgust and murder erikkarlsson65 please stop watching movies for kids yn_pitt says you
skinner_74 let me guess, little gave you this idea
yn_pitt whatt makes you say that mouse skinner_74 nothing. i just thought that goalies biggest fan deserves some presents but i guess not yn_pitt thats sabotage
bigFour somebody ban yn's twitter account quick
crosbymyc she was put on earth to humble nhlers (rightfully so)
rutgermcgroarty am i dreaming
benkindel_11 yn what is this
erikkarlsson65 she's getting older cut her some slack benkindel_11 yn i like it very very much
yn_pitt
yn_pitt little penguin is so big already, when did i get old
comments
kletang_58 I'm blocking you. It's abuse
e.malkin71geno Little one so big
connorcliff28 pls email me your secret folder
yn_pitt you have to guess what its name is first noelacciari theUncs noelacciari i expect to get it by 5 yn_pitt cookie cookie be grateful i love you
crosbymyc secret folder? yn...i have a business offer for you
yn_pitt im listening... rickardrakell absolutely not. goodbye. offer denied
pensqueens omg baby penguin is so big already
rustyyy_92 i feel so old
yn_pitt girl me too
erikkarlsson65 so does it mean you're an unc
unclover DAMN SHES FINEEEE
unclover pardon me, it was the wind
rutgermcgroarty sneaked 2nd silde and though no one will notice #sneaky
benkindel_11 little yln my favourite d
skinner_74 you're not old and little will always be little
yn_pitt bro i am skinner_74 bro you're crazy
yn_pitt
yn_pitt from the archives for my starved pens fans
comments
benkindel_11 how many folders you have
yn_pitt wouldn't you like to know weather boy
crosbymyc we all say in unison Thank you yn, give us more pls
rustyyy_92 beauty
noelacciari im scared of erik
erikkarlsson65 good
e.malkin71geno Looking very good
kletang_58 Admit I'm your favourite model
yn_pitt
yn_pitt winner winner chicken dinner or smth
comments
kletang_58 Where am I in this post?
yn_pitt in the likes as you should unclover oof tanger she did ate you up
connorcliff28 what a damsel in distress in the 2nd
rickardrakell is that the cake that rut fell down with
rutgermcgroarty you promised. arturssilovs1 it was very much not. i would never erikkarlsson65 i have it on film
rutgermcgroarty why is she doing this thing again
benkindel_11 maybe because it did work the last time yn_pitt im calling sid. its abuse yn_pitt AND cancelling the next dinner rutgermcgroarty no please don't i can't please not this benkindel_11 i thought you love us
bigFour what.is.happening.in.the.comments.
skinner_74 nice photographer you have there
yn_pitt for a mouse he's not that bad skinner_74 would say he's kinda great yn_pitt agree to disagree
yn_pitt
yn_pitt the adults are back!!!
comments
kletang_58 Finally, it was getting scary
arturssilovs1 i would help you
rustyyy_92 yep
rickardrakell i would help
yn_pitt lol nope
skinner_74 im not on there?
yn_pitt you wouldnt even be in school, you're like the kid who comes in for 3 days and then randomly disappears
erikkarlsson65 no lie
erikkarlsson65 and thank goodness they're back. he was getting pissy
e.malkin71geno We back!!!!!
yn_pitt hell yeah!
benkindel_11 cmon im tryinGGGG
crosbtmyc i love how they don't even question it
4liferss theyre scared of her. as they should
yn_pitt
yn_pitt little princess had the time of her life! the scary nhlers too
comments
penguins We loved the cake! Presents are waiting for Little Yln
crosbymyc admin spill what was it which princess was on it erikkarlsson65 princess erik. and his dwarfs kletang_58 Call me a dwarf one more time and I swear
connorcliff28 idk what i'd expected but defo not our faces on a cake
rickardrakell thankfully this time the cake didn't end up on the floor rutgermcgroarty it was ONE time rickardrakell so now you admit it was true rutgermcgroarty yn help
rustyyy_92 Tanger pulled the princess dress the best
yn_pitt your version of aurora was nice too kletang_58 Thank you Rusty
pensqueens rusty and tanger in gowns, i need to see pictures asap
unclover imagine if geno would be in one erikkarlsson65 he was mother gothel erikkarlsson65 because he is an unc unclover i-
e.malkin71geno I look best
kletang_58 Here he comes... benkindel_11 sid ate both of you up
bigFour happy birthday little penguin!
unclover im so jealous rn
arturssilovs1 didn't know stuart is a dancer
skinner_74 i have a couple of tricks up my sleeve
yn_pitt
yn_pitt love is in the air (so is attempted murder)
comments
erikkarlsson65 i love my cap my cap loves me
rustyyy_92 it was not.
yn_pitt you were laughing like a maniac afterwards rustyyy_92 maybe
rutgermcgroarty @/benkindel_11 do you love me
benkindel_11 kiki, do you love me? are you riding?
unclover where is sid when we need him
bigFour sid if you hear me somewhere there tell me about the pic
yn_pitt What is there to tell. - sc87 rickardrakell yn he stole your phone. again. yn_pitt am i surprised
pensqueens is ben the ceo of little yln's goalie club
skinner_74 is he yn? benkindel_11 yeah, am i? yn_pitt oh no look the clock be moving skinner_74 as it often does, now answer the question yn_pitt bye
yn_pitt
yn_pitt just cheesing around... PLAYOFFS BABYYY
comments
penguins can admin be as cool as you
yn_pitt babes admin is alr so cool
penguins Playoffs!!!
kletang_58 I hate you
kletang_58 I LOVE YOU
4liferss why do i feel like she's secretly one of my oomfs...
yn_pitt ;)
skinner_74 why am i on fire
yn_pitt cuz you are on fire ? skinner_74 thanks bro
erikkarlsson65 i owe you my life
crosbymyc if we get another stanley cup you'll share the folders, deal?
yn_pitt *when. deal
rustyyy_92 pleaseeeee im cheesing hard
yn_pitt didn't know we have a philosopher on the team rustyyy_92 a true Socrates
rickardrakell absolutely not. bffr. im blocking you
yn_pitt and im just cheesing around rickardrakell hope little one gives you hell ❤️
yn_pitt
yn_pitt not in pittsburgh for two weeks, if my favorites will get traded you'll be hearing about me in the news...
comments
unclover oh thats not
pensqueens quick tip - throw your phone away !
bigFour im genuinely worried about her
penguins have fun!!!!
crosbymyc girl penguins admin is in denial
yn_pitt i am never ever speaking again. sid taught me better than this
yn_pitt
yn_pitt they've already heard everything what they had to hear. boys, little one will miss you dearly. so will i
comments
connorcliff28 will miss the yln's
yn_pitt you crying? connorcliff28 heck yes im crying
noelacciari thanks for the memories (and the folders)
yn_pitt i do not interact with the mortal enemy (cookie come back)
erikkarlsson65 to everybody reading this: you, yes you, are signed to the almighty Pittsburgh Penguins, amidst the uncertainty of the team's future. beware of one of the team's reporters and her kid. good luck!
rutgermcgroarty yeah dad's taking the divorce quite well as you can see
rickardrakell that's why im staying as long as you're covering us. if i would see this shit aft-
connorcliff28 rub the wound into the salt won't you noelacciari you mean salt into the wounds right? connorcliff28 and that's why you're going to the f*****
yn_pitt
yn_pitt pittsburgh to winnipeg back and forth it is. not really how i wanted to announce who shares the 'fav goalie' tittle with flower but unfortunately hockey is a world on it's own. stuart little you'd better go and win hearts of winnipeg.
yeah we cried, love ya our fav goalie ❤️
comments
skinner_74 already have won over two of the most important hearts, that's all i need ❤️
yn_pitt bro stop it skinner_74 can't help myself
kletang_58 I need you to stop having close relationships with our goalies
kletang_58 Too soon? yn_pitt your jerseys are burning rn
connorcliff28 i had so many ideas to give him shit...
rustyyy_92 fuck i cant do this today
e.malkin71geno Me too
arturssilovs1 does it mean i get the pink cup on tea parties now...
skinner_74 im taking it with me. arturssilovs1 she won't let you yn_pitt ha ha ha funny story...flower has it arturssilovs1 i give up.
unclover yn i've just stopped crying can we not
bigFour naurrrrr sb give me tissues
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s
he lives on my desk now
Ilya throws Shane a surprise birthday dinner. Only he doesn't actually tell any of their friends that it's Shane's surprise birthday dinner, they all just think it's a regular dinner party. When dinner is served, Ilya stands up, as though to make a toast and says "it's Shane's birthday! Surprise!" (It's not, Shane's birthday is in a few days but it wouldn't be much of a surprise if it was on the actual day).
Cue everyone freaking out because they didn't actually bring a gift and Shane just looking vaguely confused but definitely entertained. Then Ilya reveals a pile of presents he's bought for Shane and tells everyone to pick one out and give to Shane. This idea came about because Shane always complains about birthday presents being thoughtful but ultimately useless because, being a multi-millionaire, anything he wants he could just go out and buy so Ilya's bought him a bunch of stuff he knows Shane will like but that he'd never buy for himself and all of their friends get to be just as surprised as Shane by what "they" have gifted him.
thinking about geno's "who's name this guy" "that's loki" "loki hi. thank you for coming" at present

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"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s
interviewer: ilya rozanov, do you have any comment on the alleged homophobic comments targeting you in today’s game?
ilya: if they could just put their minds off where i put my dick and into where i put the puck, maybe they would notice that it is going into the goal
interviewer: shane hollander, do you have any comment on your husband and captain’s rather coarse language?
shane: is he wrong?
i knowwwwww in my heart ilya would love taking shanes last name and after they have kids referring to their family unit as hollanders. ilya turning around to the backseat like okey hollanders here is plan. we are going to be in and out of costco in thirty minutes. you may choose ONE item each. if we get separated we meet at optometrist. we will get ice creams on way out as long as everyone is cool and nobody tells dad. hollanders on three.
It’s a few years into their relationship when Ilya realizes that his left arm is ever so slightly stronger than his right
It’s not really noticeable, not to anyone else, not even Shane. It’s just something that pings in Ilya’s brain when he’s in the gym strength training, that it’s just a teeny little bit easier to lift on his lift. He knows this isn’t exactly unusual, even — most people are slightly uneven, most people are a little bit stronger on their dominant side
… except Ilya is a rightie.
He puzzles over this for a while, wondering if he ought to be doing a few extra reps with his right arm, wondering if he ought to try to even it out, wondering how the fuck this even happened when he’s literally always favors his right arm/hand. He uses it to pull Shane close, to open doors for Shane, to hold himself up while he fucks into Shane……
And meanwhile, he’s using his left hand to jack Shane off.
Ilya puts the pieces together mid-hand job, when Shane is settled between his legs, back to chest. He’s got his right hand on Shane’s leg, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin on his inner thigh, while his left hand strokes Shane hard and fast until he’s whining and begging for release.
Ilya hides his reaction by biting into the sensitive skin on Shane’s neck and lets him come before rolling them both over so he can laugh into a pillow.
“What?” Shane says, scowling as he wriggles underneath Ilya, sensitive and sated. “God, you’re such an asshole. I didn’t come that fast.”
“No,” Ilya eventually manages to say through tears of mirth. He’s still hard, but he’s pretty sure he’s accidentally killed the mood. “No, no, you were perfect.”
“Then what the fuck is wrong with you?” Shane twists around so they’re face to face, and Ilya can bury his face into the crook of his shoulder.
“You know,” he says after he’s calmed himself down with the scent of his boyfriend’s sweat, that musky, salty smell he’s grown accustomed to having in his bed. “You know how my left arm is stronger than my right?”
“Yeah, so?” Shane says. He’s got this adorable, frustrated look on his face, all scrunched up and angry. “What does that have to do with — oh.” His eyes flick down to Ilya’s left hand, coated in his cum. “Oh my god, Ilya, are you serious? Is this why your right backshot is weaker than your left?”
Of course that’s what Shane worries about. God, Ilya loves him.
“It’s ok!” he says, grinning wickedly as he pushes himself up onto his left elbow. “I will even it out. Only rightie handjobs this summer.”
Shane’s smile grows slowly. “I bet your right hand isn’t as good at it,” he says, and his words reek of a challenge. “Bet you’ll need lots of practice.”
Huh. Mood not killed at all, then.
Ilya kisses Shane deeply and runs his hands — including the cum covered one — through his hair, ignoring the squeak of protest in lieu of the twitch of interest in both of their dicks.
“Good thing I have a great personal trainer,” he says and winks.
Training season has never been so much fun.

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you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to
my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella
people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):
various dentists
hotel housekeeping staff
the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)
cleaners and laundry service employees
a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?
Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella
the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game
employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"
one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job
Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood
the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain
the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
guys.. what if i change my url...
the psychiatry department at my doctor's office wouldn't test me for autism because i'm over 18 but i think this fucking hockey spreadsheet i'm making should be enough to qualify as a diagnosis