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rraviiolii

drew a fih

markv5

Вcё идеальное в этом мире cтремится к форме кругa via https://t.me/russian_cat_meme

what-even-is-thiss

I’m getting ads telling me to replace live porch flowers with plastic ones because the plastic ones don’t die and buddy I can tell you from personal experience that those flowers will fade until they look like they’ve achieved a new kind of death

#dead. alive and forbidden third option

byjove

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time

#“a hat burns when worn by a thief” russian saying #<- it means “trying to hide something obvious” but sounds ridiculous out of context 😁

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I like how when the summer hits every news article be like:

Anomalous heatwave! Record temperature! It's recommended to stay inside!

And people, or government, do nothing to prevent or prepare for the next year, you know, just in case something like that happens again

And next year it happens again. Who could have guessed?

#I just find it funny that it's called “ANOMALOUS HEATWAVE” every single year. I think after three times it's should to be “normal heatwave”

redstonedust

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

#or those typical time skips at the end of the show to show characters growing up or whatever. but like. one of the characters is a woman now #and it's not explained whatsoever. like: “Ah! Akira san” and Akira san is a girl. and they runaway into the sunset. credits roll

"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.

#“then you don't deserve an answer”

trippiest

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

gayofthefae

This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!

#“we thank God anyways”#<- I remember seeing this phrase on some Pinterest posts and I quoted it since

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prokopetz

The author's poorly disguised fetish

The author's proudly displayed fetish

The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have

The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise

The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing

The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves

The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding

The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through

The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road

The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that

pukicho

They're adding sorrow to fortnite

pukicho

Hideo Kojima needs to stop naming people words so I can make my quips in peace

#funny #out of context this sounds so funny

punkitt-is-here

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

#video game ideas

gremlininho

#ancient oreo found in mesopotamia or smth

rcktpwr

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

ceeberoni

i will give the horse that kills me no such luxury

fwippy

interesting dates on this post

gigglepuffpixie

those aren’t dates, they are explicitly stated to be cranberries

foxisconfused

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

#funny

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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spyglassrealms

I booted my old laptop to find a file and was once again dealt immediate psychic damage by my desktop wallpaper

I open this thing just infrequently enough that it catches me woefully off guard every single fucking time

#funny

markv5

via https://t.me/russian_cat_meme

#the moon is beautiful tonight #cat

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